I only have the front piece of the two pieces, but the bolts he sent with it for the front attachment really aren't all that long. Maybe an 1" - 1.5". They are grade 8 bolts as well.
The bolts just fit right in the screw clips that were already on the vehicle. Could you take a pic of what you're trying to do? Maybe you have something wrong.
Does your skid plate look like the ones pictured http://www.budbuilt.com/new/tacoma.html
Really, if you got the bracket on the steering rack on ok, there's only one place that it can bolt on. I just use my floor jack to lift it up and screw everything in. (a racheting wrench helps a ton for the bolts that attach to the rack bracket since theres no room for a socket)