Would appreciate everyone's input on marriage!

I'm not in any situation to be giving advice on this but X2 in the bold.
There are girls that I have a great time with and we share lots of interests, BUT, I know I'll never change my fundamental beliefs and they won't change theirs. So they're not even on the radar.

 

FIND THE RIGHT PERSON.

Also no need to rush. My wife and I didn't meet until our forties. First marriage for both of us. Which brings me back to:

FIND THE RIGHT PERSON.

Best thing I ever did. Because I waited until I could

FIND THE RIGHT PERSON.

And if for whatever reason you have not found the right person, for God's sakes don't do it.

 

Fair enough.

Greg

 

And I'd add:

To only way to find the right person...

...is to be the right person.

 

nicely put

 

Marriage is a compromise from day one onward for both parties involved. If your going to try the "til death til we part thing" you'd better make sure that both of you have the same values, goals and certainly ambitions for future.
If one or the other is looking at the partner as a work in progress that has to be "changed" the process is doomed from the start. Even when you have all of the common denominators a union between two different individuals will have many road bumps that a 4" lift is not going to be able to resolve. If you both are on the same wavelength you have a chance. Skid plates will only get you over the bumps......if you are lucky.

# 1 thing is "respect" you give it and take it. The more you give the more you'll get back.

If you do decide to marry do it on the cheap and save a bundle. Marriage puts a ton of financial stress and anxiety on most couples from the get go. Get married by a JP and even if you have loads of money, make a donation to a charity you both believe in. You can still have a formal ceremony with family on the cheap. I tell my own kids this because I see the process now is just a huge money grab. Go to a tropical island have a blast and take some close friends. I'm going to do this on my 7th wedding Just kidding, coming up on 30 years now

 

Despite what you may think, a marriage is hard work. I have been married for just over a year but we have been together for about 10 years now. All I can say is never rest on the word "marriage". A word does nothing to save you from having to go through hard spots and tough times - make sure you respect your wife and yourself.

Don't ever become complacent and always make sure you show your partner how much they mean to you every day.

We went/are still going to marriage counseling after a hefty argument that led to some nasty outcomes (neglected each other for months and became OK with the habit of being just roommates). The therapist said what I already knew but in a way that really sunk in and I will never forget:
"Marriage is like a houseplant - it can survive a few days or even a week without water, but if you barely take care of it then it will surely die".

 

Here OP keep this in mind if you fall for the wrong one..Marriage is like a hand of cards; You start out with 2 hearts and a diamond, and then you wish for a club and a spade!

 

I had a "Three Ring Marriage" first came the Engagement Ring, then came the Wedding ring, Then came the Suffering!!!

 

Look at her mother. Look at the good and bad. This is what you will likely get down the road. If her mom really turns you off, walk away. If the opposite, enjoy!

 

Marriage is like a see-saw......it's up....it's down.

 

There is a lot of truth to the above.....

 

I've only done the marriage thing once, and it is still working after 21 years, so I can't really tell you what NOT to do or what didn't work.

First, make sure this person can be your best friend. Lovers come and go, so you need to first be friends and trust each other. You've got her back, she's got yours -- through anything.

Second, if BOTH of you aren't fully committed to work through the ups and downs and take the vows seriously, don't do it. Any thoughts of, "Well, if it doesn't work out there is always divorce" and you should wait until you find that one that you can be fully committed to.

Don't let the poon cloud your mind. It's like a Jedi before you get married, and like a ninja after.

 

With a cast iron frying pan ?

If you don't have the same beliefs ... God, finances, children

You're in for a world of hurt and then you have to figure out if the
'juice is worth the squeeze' and stay with her.

Then there's the mom-n-law ... If she's up in your business before you are married, that won't change

My first marriage was a train wreck... but I have a wonderful daughter that I don't get to see or talk to whenever I feel like

My wife now is a gift from heaven... Best 10 years of my life
Plus she is well educated and well paid

We share the same core beliefs and that matters almost as much as how much we love each other

 

Just remember what works for some people does not work for others. That is something you need to figure out with your spouse.

 

First. Do not compromise on anything. Even the smallest thing. If there is one things at all that you don't like or bothers you get out.

Second. Marriage needs to be considered a second job. It takes work. It takes commitment. Just like getting out of bed to go to work in the morning, you must deliberately get up and try to make your marriage a happy one. There are days you hate your job, but you still do it. Same with marriage. It will not always be a fairy tale, you will argue and you will fight with each other.

But, your wife will turn you into a better man.

 

Don't introduce her to your friends as "my first wife"...

David

 

Amen. Best thing that's ever happened in my life but holy goodness it can be a lot of work... But the really rewarding kind.

Definitely make a real commitment, covenant, or whatever you wanna call it that no matter how hard it gets, you will not give up. Trust me, you will likely want to at some point. Remember this line 'til death do us part'? Think about that long and hard. I won't bible thump here, but if I wasn't dedicated to my faith and what that means in our relationship, I know this thing could have crashed and burned in the first year.

Also, there is no rush. Despite what all your friends are doin or sayin', take your time, as you'll live with her in the end

 

........

 

What does that even mean..