Mike "Wuzzy121". Rest in peace, brother

Go Back   Tacoma World Forums > Off-Topic > Garage / Workshop

Notices

Tools Explained.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 05-03-2014, 03:45 PM   #1
GO VOLS!
TnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
TnRedNeck721's Avatar
Name: Zach
Joined: Mar 2011, #52731
Location: TN
Gender: Male
Posts: 18,540
TnRedNeck721's Tacoma Gallery
Tools Explained.

Saw this on another forum a while back and got a good laugh at it, and i find it pretty true. Though this could be a cool thread on here since so many like doing their own work, So Lets here your thoughts and stories that may go along with these.

Tools Explained


DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light . Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh--!'

SKIL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

SON-OF-A-***** TOOL: (A personal favorite!) Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a *****!' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.

Hope you found this informative.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2014, 10:16 PM   #2
Senior Member
Newlife is one of the sharper tools in the shedNewlife is one of the sharper tools in the shedNewlife is one of the sharper tools in the shedNewlife is one of the sharper tools in the shedNewlife is one of the sharper tools in the shedNewlife is one of the sharper tools in the shedNewlife is one of the sharper tools in the shedNewlife is one of the sharper tools in the shedNewlife is one of the sharper tools in the shedNewlife is one of the sharper tools in the shedNewlife is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
Newlife's Avatar
Name: Adam
Joined: Jun 2013, #106845
Location: Knoxville TN
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,348
Newlife's Tacoma Gallery
Found my son of ***** tool tonight. I was cutting the u bolts down so I could torque them and got my hand in between the shock and u bolt. Ripped my finger up really nice held my cool until I got in the house and then saw the blood.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-03-2014, 10:26 PM   #3
Senior Member
Taco'09 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco'09 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco'09 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco'09 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco'09 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco'09 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco'09 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco'09 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco'09 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco'09 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco'09 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
Joined: Dec 2008, #12073
Gender: Male
Posts: 345
Taco'09's Tacoma Gallery
COIL SPRING COMPRESSOR: Widow Maker
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2014, 05:13 PM   #4
GO VOLS!
TnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
TnRedNeck721's Avatar
Name: Zach
Joined: Mar 2011, #52731
Location: TN
Gender: Male
Posts: 18,540
TnRedNeck721's Tacoma Gallery
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taco'09 View Post
COIL SPRING COMPRESSOR: Widow Maker
I have seen some bad videos of spring compressors breaking and hitting stuff/people.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2014, 06:09 PM   #5
Senior Member
Fire Taco Fighter has a spectacular aura aboutFire Taco Fighter has a spectacular aura about
Firefighter:
Joined: Jul 2011, #60451
Gender: Male
Posts: 340
Fire Taco Fighter's Tacoma Gallery
that's freakin classic....I gotta print that out and hang it in the shop
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2014, 06:21 PM   #7
Senior Member
smmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shedsmmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shedsmmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shedsmmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shedsmmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shedsmmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shedsmmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shedsmmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shedsmmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shedsmmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shedsmmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
smmarine's Avatar
Name: Sean
Joined: Apr 2013, #101279
Location: Melbourne FL
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,481
smmarine's Tacoma Gallery
Love it haha
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2014, 09:53 AM   #8
There's an evil monkey in my truck
Evil Monkey is one of the sharper tools in the shedEvil Monkey is one of the sharper tools in the shedEvil Monkey is one of the sharper tools in the shedEvil Monkey is one of the sharper tools in the shedEvil Monkey is one of the sharper tools in the shedEvil Monkey is one of the sharper tools in the shedEvil Monkey is one of the sharper tools in the shedEvil Monkey is one of the sharper tools in the shedEvil Monkey is one of the sharper tools in the shedEvil Monkey is one of the sharper tools in the shedEvil Monkey is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
Evil Monkey's Avatar
Navy: Tradevman (flight simulator tech), Aviation Electrician (F-14a), Computer Scientist(civ)
Name: Robert
Joined: Aug 2007, #2352
Location: Escondido, CA
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,377
Evil Monkey's Tacoma Gallery
Brain: a tool used in wood working to memorize a dimension and automatically subtract one inch just before your cut.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2014, 10:19 AM   #9
GO VOLS!
TnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTnRedNeck721 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
TnRedNeck721's Avatar
Name: Zach
Joined: Mar 2011, #52731
Location: TN
Gender: Male
Posts: 18,540
TnRedNeck721's Tacoma Gallery
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil Monkey View Post
Brain: a tool used in wood working to memorize a dimension and automatically subtract one inch just before your cut.
thats also thru! I try and make a mental note to cut stuff longer just because of this. I can always go back and cut it shorter if i need to.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2014, 10:52 AM   #10
Senior Member
smmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shedsmmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shedsmmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shedsmmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shedsmmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shedsmmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shedsmmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shedsmmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shedsmmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shedsmmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shedsmmarine is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
smmarine's Avatar
Name: Sean
Joined: Apr 2013, #101279
Location: Melbourne FL
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,481
smmarine's Tacoma Gallery
Measure twice, cut once haha
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2014, 07:19 PM   #11
Official Flatlander
Gieser is one of the sharper tools in the shedGieser is one of the sharper tools in the shedGieser is one of the sharper tools in the shedGieser is one of the sharper tools in the shedGieser is one of the sharper tools in the shedGieser is one of the sharper tools in the shedGieser is one of the sharper tools in the shedGieser is one of the sharper tools in the shedGieser is one of the sharper tools in the shedGieser is one of the sharper tools in the shedGieser is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
Gieser's Avatar
Joined: Jun 2010, #39110
Location: MB, Canada
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Posts: 872
Gieser's Tacoma Gallery
haha i need this in my garage lol
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-25-2014, 10:37 PM   #13
Probably should'nt have done that.
4banger4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed4banger4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed4banger4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed4banger4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed4banger4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed4banger4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed4banger4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed4banger4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed4banger4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed4banger4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed4banger4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
4banger4x4's Avatar
Name: Eric
Joined: Apr 2012, #77528
Location: Whorelando, Fl
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,488
4banger4x4's Tacoma Gallery
i havent laughed that hard in a long time
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-13-2014, 09:03 AM   #14
Senior Member
Dangerdave is a jewel in the roughDangerdave is a jewel in the roughDangerdave is a jewel in the roughDangerdave is a jewel in the rough
Name: David
Joined: Feb 2014, #122932
Location: Clyde, NC
Gender: Male
Posts: 346
Dangerdave's Tacoma Gallery
I couldn't quit laughing

This is perfect. Printing it out and laminating it as well
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-13-2014, 09:32 AM   #15
Senior Member
theredofshaw is one of the sharper tools in the shedtheredofshaw is one of the sharper tools in the shedtheredofshaw is one of the sharper tools in the shedtheredofshaw is one of the sharper tools in the shedtheredofshaw is one of the sharper tools in the shedtheredofshaw is one of the sharper tools in the shedtheredofshaw is one of the sharper tools in the shedtheredofshaw is one of the sharper tools in the shedtheredofshaw is one of the sharper tools in the shedtheredofshaw is one of the sharper tools in the shedtheredofshaw is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
theredofshaw's Avatar
Navy: AM1
Name: John
Joined: Aug 2010, #41484
Location: OKC
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,131
theredofshaw's Tacoma Gallery
This is going up at work lol
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-13-2014, 09:54 AM   #16
cuz my life is dope and I do dope shit
TurdTaco13 is on a distinguished road
 
TurdTaco13's Avatar
Name: Matt
Joined: Feb 2014, #122415
Location: Abq
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 292
TurdTaco13's Tacoma Gallery
This is amazing. Definitely worth of printing large scale and hanging it in the garage!
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-13-2014, 08:01 PM   #17
Professional bear handler
MTopp is one of the sharper tools in the shedMTopp is one of the sharper tools in the shedMTopp is one of the sharper tools in the shedMTopp is one of the sharper tools in the shedMTopp is one of the sharper tools in the shedMTopp is one of the sharper tools in the shedMTopp is one of the sharper tools in the shedMTopp is one of the sharper tools in the shedMTopp is one of the sharper tools in the shedMTopp is one of the sharper tools in the shedMTopp is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
MTopp's Avatar
Name: Matt
Joined: Aug 2013, #110295
Location: Bergen County, NJ
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,033
MTopp's Tacoma Gallery
Love it
  Reply With Quote
Old 07-25-2014, 07:22 PM   #18
Senior Member
Smashing is one of the sharper tools in the shedSmashing is one of the sharper tools in the shedSmashing is one of the sharper tools in the shedSmashing is one of the sharper tools in the shedSmashing is one of the sharper tools in the shedSmashing is one of the sharper tools in the shedSmashing is one of the sharper tools in the shedSmashing is one of the sharper tools in the shedSmashing is one of the sharper tools in the shedSmashing is one of the sharper tools in the shedSmashing is one of the sharper tools in the shed
Joined: Nov 2013, #117066
Location: Rochester NY
Gender: Male
Posts: 171
Smashing's Tacoma Gallery
Quote:
Originally Posted by TnRedNeck721 View Post
SON-OF-A-***** TOOL: (A personal favorite!) Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a *****!' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
Shortly after this I look at my wife and tell her I guess I need a new one of those....
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Terrorist Threat Levels Explained Killer Off-Topic Discussion 2 03-07-2011 03:59 PM
HELL FINALLY EXPLAINED!!!!!! Przemekmsu Off-Topic Discussion 19 10-06-2010 09:03 PM
Clipping and Underpowering explained ItalynStylion Audio & Video 19 07-03-2009 06:07 PM
Tools Explained brianr Off-Topic Discussion 19 01-27-2009 04:00 PM


Copyright © 2014 Tacoma Forum. Tacoma World is not owned by, or affiliated with Toyota Motor Corporation.