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Old 10-23-2011, 07:55 PM   #1
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Depression

Hey guys and gals,

Never in a million years did I think I would be asking a question like this on a truck forum but here goes.

My girlfriend is clinically depressed. Has been on meds for 10 years to control it. The meds no longer seem to work.

Cliff notes version of our relationship: Dated in high school, lost touch, found her again 13 years later. She's divorced and has a five year old child. The first six months of our relationship were darn close to perfect. She started sliding downhill over a course of four months or so. She broke up with me with tears in her eyes and told me I deserved better. Three months later we got back together. She's on different meds and believes she is no longer depressed. Well, she's not normal. I would describe her as emotionally numb. She will barely talk to me. Lots of text messages, nothing remotely deep. See each other maybe once every two weeks for a few hours. No reason given for why she does not want to see me, just doesn't. All the while she insists she does want a relationship with me.

I am at the end of my rope. I love her. I have begged her to get help and she won't go. Is this an episode of some sort? Will it just magically go away on it's own? I am willing to support her and help her through the hard times, but I feel like she has to get back to normal before we can even discuss it. Is this just going to happen again five years later? This might be why she's divorced, don't know. There's a lot of anger in her still that really should be gone after three years of being divorced.

Just throwing it out there in case someone has been through it themselves or with a spouse, girlfriend, friend, family member and maybe can offer some insight.

It's not going to make sense to anyone who has not been through it. It's like she's left on vacation and left someone else in her body that simply has no intrest in me at all.

I guess I am hoping for success stories to keep me going. Somewhere in there is a woman that I really enjoy being with.
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Old 10-23-2011, 07:58 PM   #2
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IDK, i mean if she says shes not depressed she may just be telling herself that, but really deep down she might be. Its up to you if you want to stay with her, can't make that decision for you.

Goodluck to you and her.
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Old 10-23-2011, 08:10 PM   #3
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Having personally dealt with this stuff, she needs to find the cause of her depression, meds can help with the symptoms but they aren't a cure all. If she has an issue then she needs to want to fix it herself.

Kinda like when a person has drugs problems, you can provide all the support you want but in the end THEY have to be the ones to make the decision to stop.

OR, reason 2, she is depressed not because of an event but because she has an actual chemical imbalance in her head that predisposes her to dark. sad. and often suicidal thoughts. If this is the case then once again, the antidepressant drugs are only a bandaid to the situation. A lot of it can be treated by regular exercise surprisingly enough, and eating well, mind and body are symbiotic for a reason, one thing that helps one can usually help the other.

There is also now some different brain surgery solutions, I remember hearing about a couple of them years ago, if you do some research on them you'd be surprised whats out there.

If she is reason 2 and you need some help understanding let me know, I was born with the same issue
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Old 10-23-2011, 08:41 PM   #4
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as said above, could be multiple reasons. therapy would be the first course of action.. find out the root of the problem. probably nothing ur doing wrong, and ur doing the right thing by supporting her. i assume it cant be a walk in the park being divorced from the father of ur child but there might be other reasons. theres some quote that goes something like "if u cant handle me at my worst then u dont deserve me at my best" and i think its a quote to follow.. but only if u eventually get to experience "the best". ur doing the right thing by sticking around so just try, dont force, to get her to seek help. no straight answers, just play it by ear
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Old 10-23-2011, 08:42 PM   #5
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Thank you guys for taking the time to reply. I have been reading everything I can find on the subject.

I really should have broken up with her by now, but we go way back and I'm just not ready yet.
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Old 10-23-2011, 08:58 PM   #6
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You can't force someone to do something they don't want to, or aren't ready for. Tell her how you feel, that you'll be there for her when she needs you, but also tell her you can't handle her the way she is. Tell her if she is unwilling to explore what is wrong at this moment that you must move on. Watching someone you love in a pain like this sucks, I know, but you'll just destroy your life trying to give her help she doesn't want, or feel she needs.
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Old 10-23-2011, 09:02 PM   #7
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If you love her and feel that she is worth it, Just keep doing what you been doing by trying to be with her but at the same time try not to be over bearing, just let her know you love her and you are there for her.
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