I work both sides of the house here at the base and I've dealt with some pretty funny/crazy calls. Best one that I remember and everyone to this day still gives me shit about is when this guy called the emergency line and I answered:
Me: Good afternoon Coast Guard Police Officer M, can I help you?
Him: Uhhhhh yea uhhh, I'm driving down Polaris here and uhhh there's uh...there's a snowman here with a rather large..............uh.....phallic symbol and balls on it.
Me: A large what symbol?
Him: Its got a d*ck and balls on it!!
Me: Oh, ok....interesting.
The conversation went on about where exactly it was but yea...thats the best one I have so far.
Lets here yours!