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Old 05-07-2012, 01:31 AM   #1
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Insulted...Family Business

So I'm 22 years old, been working the past 5 years in 2 different Meat Departments while going to a junior college. My family has owned a water well drilling and pump business for over 50 years and since i was a kid I always assumed I would become owner or part owner in this company, my great-grandfather handed it to my grandfather, grandfather to my dad and uncle. I'm my father's only son, while my uncle has three. Ones in the Marines, and the other two are screw ups both on felony probation. One works as a night stocker at a large grocery store and loves it, while the other "can't" find a job and works with my dad and uncle. He's worked off and on with them for about 10 years. Get's fed up, quits, can't find a new job, goes back, quits... same ol' story. He doesnt know the business aspect but knows the labor aspect. Anyways, last two years of working in the meat department at a LARGE warehouse, I've become fed up, my job title is "meat wrapper" but I work till 10 most nights cleaning up. While I make "decent" wage with up to a $6 dollar more raise in the next couple years. I do get good benefits with them, I have no opportunity to become a meat cutter for 10 years (all positions are taken and no ones leaving).

Anyways have no desire to work in any other position in this warehouse, been turned down for 3 different management positions(they go by senority) Anyways I asked my parents about coming to work with them at the business. They say works slow right now can't afford me. Employees are (my pops, uncle, cousin) ... I say okay well how about training me for when you retire, my pops says business isn't going to go any farther then him and my uncle. I ask why, theres alot of business opportunities coming in the future.. Eventually he comes out to say im in a partnership with your uncle, im not going any farther with my side but your cousin is probably going to take over.

Would you be insulted?? Because I definately am. This business is run out of my backyard i barely know how to use 95% of the equipment out there when this shit has been there all my life. Yeah i've only got an Associates degree(which wont get me anywhere) but obviously i Have the dedication to put too many years to receive it. But your going to give it to my cousin who has quit numerous times and only came back to the business because no one wanted to hire someone whose on felony probation...
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Old 05-07-2012, 01:35 AM   #2
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What is you dad cashing his share out and retiring . I wouldn't be insulted on whats goin on . Just find another carrer
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Old 05-07-2012, 01:42 AM   #3
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I would be disappointed for sure, maybe he thinks since you didn't show much interest to date, that you're not interested..?
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Old 05-07-2012, 01:42 AM   #4
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I guess, just seems like he's just doing it differently then past generations. He knows just as much as everyone one up here there aren't many "careers". Seems like everyother family owned business I know of WANTS their kids to take the business. Mine is pushing me away from it
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Old 05-07-2012, 01:45 AM   #5
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I would have just started learning the trade from the beginning. Your dad probably wants his share and retire? Sounds like you want to be bailed out like your cousin by taking over an already running company.
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Old 05-07-2012, 01:45 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by rab89 View Post
I would be disappointed for sure, maybe he thinks since you didn't show much interest to date, that you're not interested..?
When he originally told me back in Highschool that he wasn't going to give it to anyone, i figured he wanted me to just to go College first(just as he did), and then he would let me make my decision. During this time i've taken numerous well courses, water treatment courses, and waste water courses. Unforunately, I want to be my own boss and run my own business. thought this would be the opportunity
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Old 05-07-2012, 01:48 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by jdickey03 View Post
I guess, just seems like he's just doing it differently then past generations. He knows just as much as everyone one up here there aren't many "careers". Seems like everyother family owned business I know of WANTS their kids to take the business. Mine is pushing me away from it
Business must be slower than you think. I hate to beat a dead horse but in this economy your dad is probably doing you a favor by avoiding bankruptcy and stress in general. How old is your dad?
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Old 05-07-2012, 01:48 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by jdmdcfan View Post
I would have just started learning the trade from the beginning. Your dad probably wants his share and retire? Sounds like you want to be bailed out like your cousin by taking over an already running company.
Definately don't feel I want to be "Bailed out". I've tried numerous times to go on jobs with them and learn the trade...But with school and my real job it was hard to do . As for being "Bailed out" no not at all, after more then 50 years of a family business running, and the sons of the fathers taking the business i feel i should know the business better then i do,
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Old 05-07-2012, 01:50 AM   #9
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Business must be slower than you think. I hate to beat a dead horse but in this economy your dad is probably doing you a favor by avoiding bankruptcy and stress in general. How old is your dad?
He's 53, maybe i'm just being an asshole about the way i see his lifestyle but if "business is slow" the man sure buys a lot of nice toys and goes on nice vacations.
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Old 05-07-2012, 01:55 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by jdickey03 View Post
Definately don't feel I want to be "Bailed out". I've tried numerous times to go on jobs with them and learn the trade...But with school and my real job it was hard to do . As for being "Bailed out" no not at all, after more then 50 years of a family business running, and the sons of the fathers taking the business i feel i should know the business better then i do,
Sometimes families spread the help/wealth in odd ways. Your cousin NEEDS this job even though he doesn't act like it. Your father and uncle probably think you will thrive fine on your own. Helping people help them selves.
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Old 05-07-2012, 01:59 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by jdickey03 View Post
He's 53, maybe i'm just being an asshole about the way i see his lifestyle but if "business is slow" the man sure buys a lot of nice toys and goes on nice vacations.
Do you really want to take over the business because you're interested in the trade? Sounds like you aren't sure what you want to do? Your dad sounds like he like to play hard and work hard.

Come to think of it. The guy who drilled the well at my parents house went out of business because he was too inconsistant and didn't do what he promised. Definitely try to take over your cousins spot when he goes through another un employment spree.
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Old 05-07-2012, 01:59 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by jdmdcfan View Post
Sometimes families spread the help/wealth in odd ways. Your cousin NEEDS this job even though he doesn't act like it. Your father and uncle probably think you will thrive fine on your own. Helping people help them selves.
Yeah I understand that. I am 50/50 on my cousin and this job. Love the dude, but makes stupid decisions. mostly I guess i feel insulted i worked hard to show I didnt "need" this job by maintaining another job since i was 16, and going to a college. I just feel i've earned it....? The pops and I have had arguements before about it, he feels he was pushed into taking over the business, while i argue I dont feel pushed.. i WANT to take over the business
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Old 05-07-2012, 02:01 AM   #13
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35 years ago, I was in the same position. My dad and uncle owned a corned beef business. I worked for them since I was 13. They treated me like a stepchild... I quit! Went to work in the tool and die trade. Make more money and distanced myself from them. Alchoholics. look at this as an opportunity. Nobody is gonna give you anything in life! you gotta go out and grab it! You sound like a good worker. If you are, you will not have anything to worry about! there are plenty of slackers. You'll see......
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Old 05-07-2012, 02:02 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by jdmdcfan View Post
Do you really want to take over the business because you're interested in the trade? Sounds like you aren't sure what you want to do? Your dad sounds like he like to play hard and work hard.
haha, honestly i see my dads play habits as maybe a little too extreme. I mean he manages his money. But he likes to spend Yes I truly would like to take over this business for the trade. From what i've seen while on jobs, you meet a lot of different people, work in different enviroments and every day definately isnt the same.
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Old 05-07-2012, 02:04 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by jofixer View Post
35 years ago, I was in the same position. My dad and uncle owned a corned beef business. I worked for them since I was 13. They treated me like a stepchild... I quit! Went to work in the tool and die trade. Make more money and distanced myself from them. Alchoholics. look at this as an opportunity. Nobody is gonna give you anything in life! you gotta go out and grab it! You sound like a good worker. If you are, you will not have anything to worry about! there are plenty of slackers. You'll see......
True definately slackers out there, but this job would be in my back yard....litterally.. if i dont get a chance to show i can do it...how would he ever know,
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Old 05-07-2012, 02:09 AM   #16
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If you really want an honest opinion; I don't know you or your family, and I can only take your word on your one side of this story. But as others have said, it looks like you have shown no interest in you family business, until now as you are fed up with you current lot in life. It appears that you thought you could do as you pleased until you required it to be there for you, like some kind of crutch. Now that you've been told that this will not be available to you, you seem hurt. Not to sound too harsh, but that is life. You can't expect others, even family to just simply hand things to you.

Frank
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Old 05-07-2012, 02:12 AM   #17
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If you really want an honest opinion; I don't know you or your family, and I can only take your word on your one side of this story. But as others have said, it looks like you have shown no interest in you family business, until now as you are fed up with you current lot in life. It appears that you thought you could do as you pleased until you required it to be there for you, like some kind of crutch. Now that you've been told that this will not be available to you, you seem hurt. Not to sound too harsh, but that is life. You can't expect others, even family to just simply hand things to you.

Frank
Pretty much the way i see it too.
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Old 05-07-2012, 02:13 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by Highland Logan View Post
If you really want an honest opinion; I don't know you or your family, and I can only take your word on your one side of this story. But as others have said, it looks like you have shown no interest in you family business, until now as you are fed up with you current lot in life. It appears that you thought you could do as you pleased until you required it to be there for you, like some kind of crutch. Now that you've been told that this will not be available to you, you seem hurt. Not to sound too harsh, but that is life. You can't expect others, even family to just simply hand things to you.

Frank
definately appreciate an honest opinion. I guess I have felt this is the "last straw" I mean i'm not going to quit my job tomorrow and be jobless. I'll put up with it for the time being. I have ALWAYS been interested in this business. I dont want to blame it on my father but it basically comes down to him not wanting me to take over the business... between him and my mom they hate the idea of "owning your own business"... the business owner aspect definately caught my attention, but so did helping others receive water in rural areas. Rather than being stuck in a meat room all night cleaning it.....
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Old 05-07-2012, 02:16 AM   #19
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Pretty much the way i see it too.
I guess it can seem that way by the way i explained it for you all. What it comes down to is:
1) Continue family business
2) Do trade im interested in
3) Be my own Boss
4) Working in different enviroments
5) Helping others receive water.

I dont want to be RICHHHH, shit I told my parents I'd take a pay cut to minimum wage just to learn the trade lol.
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Old 05-07-2012, 02:26 AM   #20
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whats up with all the douchebags in here. everyone who comments negatively about the kid "not being interested" and "counting on it to bail him out" seem like they are jealous. thats bull shit - my dad's a police chief, hes been a police officer his whole life, ive always looked up to him and always wanted to be a police officer and a successful one. its my "family business" and id be pissed if he pushed me away or never helped me out. this kid has to show interest his whole life in the business to sincerely want to take it over? the fuck he does. if his dad was interested in him taking it over, he wouldve taken the kid with him to work and to help him when the kid was young and didnt know anything about a job. thats when this kids dad shouldve been teaching him about it. would i feel insulted yes. seems like this kid has been shit on enough by shitbag family members and shut down by his dad - why do people on this web site feel the need to kick him when hes down?

jdickey - if it were me dude, id find something ELSE to do thats not even close to what your family owns. id never tell you to "find a new career" bc if you truly want to do this then thats rude for me to say, but if youre fed up with playing with meat all day, and fed up with the answers your dad gives you, try to find something twice as successful and run with it, then tell your cousin to go fuck himself when he comes running to you for a job. whats your degree in? i wouldnt say an associates degree gets you nowhere, thats all i have and im pretty proud of it. could i waste 8 years of my life and get s doctorate in theatre or some shit that doesnt apply to real life? sure. but id rather have common sense, a degree in something practical that doesnt make me look like a title collecting hippee, and a good job with good bennys. id say where you are right now certainly isnt hurting you, maybe try some different part time gigs to figure out what you really like to do and are really good at, then break off into something you love to do full time. i can give you really good advice and tell you that EVERYONE loves fire fighters, AND they get paid to sleep good luck bro.
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