Boot Camp/Military Hazing Stories

when i checked into my first unit as lcpl me and another lcpl where told to go to fl and stand on their screw(53 guys should know what i am talking about) so me and other nugget are like ok no big deal...... we got this we will show them.... so we go to fl walk in the door and stand on their screw.. and nothing. turns out this is a sign for fl to attack the shit out of whoever is on the screw.. well we got lucky as shit because there was only a couple broke kids in there and nothing happend.. our shop was like how the hell are you still standing haha..... ps i dont recommend anyone stand on the screw ever... you probably wont get as lucky as we did.

 

Had to be HMH 462, I did OJT with them in '88 when I was in Tustin for 53D rotors and power plant school. The Screw Crew!

 

Yup thats correct!

 

if firefighting is temporarily accepted - we got to a call a few years ago right after my friend had joined a week before. it was a car fire that had already been put out cause we were on the third truck. he was in full turnout gear and what not and ready to save some kittens you know. he went up to one of our captains asking what he needed to do. captain told him with the straightest face "go get me a left handed screw driver and a right handed pike pole". dude ran around all the trucks asking everybody where it was at haha. we still give him hell over that.

 

As far as I know pretty much all flightline shops for helicopter squadrons have something similar to that. My previous unit had a large "H" painted on the floor. Woe be to anyone from outside the shop who stood on it.

Skip forward to my current squadron: We had an Avionics kid come in one day, and he elected to stand in the middle of the shop. Said he was sent to get "a stack of 6116's" (Osprey mechanic MOS). The entire shop proceeded to dogpile him. After it was all said and done, he got up and said, "That's all you got?". Immediately one of our guys, a big boy from Texas, stepped up and more or less choke slammed him to the ground.

Our faces:

Disclaimer: Nobody was injured during the making of this story.

 

We used to send new guys to the HT (hull technician) shop to get an "HT" punch. They always came back mad, and rubbing their arms.

About the time they walked down to their workspace, the door would be shut, and the whole shop proceeded to get in on the punching. Pretty funny.

 

how about having one fng jumping on top a hemmit while another fng is under it checking the springs. or muffler grease, headlight fluid, exhuast sample, welding tape. we work with bridges so we have boats and at the end of the boat we have a capstand, for towing with rope. we have the fngs try to crank start the boat with it.

 

funy story.... me and my buddy are avi and both of us were 200+ and he was a high school wrestler. the two broke fl kids never stood a chance lol

 

All the avi kids in my squadron are the skinny and nerdy types. Flightline can roll them up anytime!

 

During a basic training field excerise, my battle buddy had his a** hanging over a fallen tree taking a crap. Our drill sergeant threw a grenade simulator with a bean component (from the old MRE) taped around it in front of him. When the grenade sim exploded, the beans hit him in the face and my buddy fell back in his own sh*t!

Guess you had to be there!

 

That is a really old one...my father (USAF/CA-ANG) who is in his late 70s uses those ones. We're an aviation family and it is hilarious...got me with them when I was a bit younger.

That one made me laugh. Not familiar with what you're talkin bout but is sounds damn funny.

Seriously? I can't believe someone would look for hummer keys.

 

I used to work at Site-R, PA (aka Underground Pentagon) and we had a guard shack on top of the mountain. One of the duties up there was to check the East and West Vents which pulled all the crappy air and other stuff from inside of the mountain. I'm not sure what all came out of the vents but sometimes the smoke would change colors. I'm sure though that it was nothing bad (I hope) and that atmospheric conditions played a part in the colors

Anyway, I was up there one evening with a guy fresh out of Basic. Of course he's the one that is going to do all the checks, so I sent him down the hill (about a ¼ mile walk) to check on one of the Vents. He hadn't been gone long when I get a call from my buddy in the SOG's office. He said to get in MOPP 4 and that they were playing a joke on the new guy.

I got in MOPP 4 and I'm sitting on the floor when the door busts open. There stands the newbie, all out of breath from running ¼ mile up hill and his eyes the size of saucers. Then he sees me and I thought he was going to shit himself. He justs says “oh fuck” and runs over to his bag and starts dumping everything out. He's in a panic and at one point he had one leg in his pants, his jacket open and the hood of his protective mask pulled half over his face. It takes him awhile but finally he gets his MOPP gear on and he looks at me and says he thinks he's contaminated. At that point I couldn't keep a straight face and almost choked myself laughing inside my M17A1. He was so scared that I'm sure if I told him to use the atropine injector on himself he would have.

What happened was that when he got to the vent the smoke was a reddish purple color. He picks up the drop phone to the SOG's office to tell them. My buddy answers the phone and when the newbie told him about the smoke, he says, “Oh my God, go MOPP 4 now.” “We are having a chemical leak.” The dude didn't even hang up the phone. Just drops it and takes off running back up the hill.

Another time I'm up there with another new guy and I sent him up the small water tower behind the guard shack to watch for low flying aircraft. He's up there for about three hours when I hear him yell, "I see one...I see one." Like someone said before, I guess you had to have been there. I guess when you get bored you'll do anything to help pass the time.

One more thing and I'm out of here. One of the things we used to do to guys out of basic was to handcuff them to the overhead rail on the bus and make them sing the Army Song as we rode from the barracks to the Site.

 

go get me the keys for the hmmwv

 

When I was in boot, you were not allowed to sleep outside of normal sleep hours. So, this dude is in his bunk at 9pm and out like a mofo. I mean this guy was sleeping hard..we all did. Anyway, we all put our PT gear on and yelled at this guy to wake up and that he was late for PT (which we did at 0345). He finally gets up, flips out, starts cussing, gets his shit on and bolts down two flight of stairs and heads to the drill pad for formation. He is bouncing off walls, stumbling..because he is still half a sleep. He gets the drill pad and realizes he is standing there alone! We are in the barracks windows pointing and laughing at the dumbass. He was pissed! Later during training and after a day full of getting CS gassed, we were told NOT to take hot showers or face pain from the gas that was still on our skin. It opened the pores and started the pain all over again. This same dude gets in and cranks to shower on full hot...and paid the price. Again, funny.

We had a drill that hated when people took food out of the chow hall, which was forbidden anyway. Drove him nuts. So, in the closing days of boot camp, one of the others DS's told everyone of us to take at least two pieces of fruit from the chow hall and pile them on this dudes desk. Following orders (albeit, illegal), we did just that. There were about a hundred pieces of fruit piled and falling off this dudes desk. He comes in and comes unglued! He went ape shit and demanded to know the culprit. Like good soldiers, we kept our mouths shut. He focused on one guy, your typical New York Bronx dude. He sat him down in front of the desk and told him to start eating. He would eat until he dimed out the instigator. I bet he sat there for an hour eating fruit...he just kept eating....right up until he puked. At that point, the other DS's came in and owned up. We still paid the price with some extra gorilla drills. But it was fun...except for old Lou the New Yorker, who spent most of the day and night shitting!!

 

^^^Good Times^^^

 

Being around stuff like this in the Army has made me paranoid. I just have started working in the IT department for a School District. Today, I got a Help Ticket assigned to me today to fix 4 computers in Lab D (Room N-215).

I grabbed my stuff and headed out. I found Labs B & C. I even found Rooms N-214 and N-216 but no N-215. I walked around for about 20 minutes to make sure I didn't miss it. I was seriously starting to think they were screwing with me but I didn't want to go back and say anything just in case it was real. I finally asked a janitor where it was. Come to find out the Lab was new and they had never changed the signs.

I finished up and when I got back to the work area I told them that I was starting to think they were screwing with the new guy. They just looked at me like I was retarded.

 

Hazing the new guy. I guess the stature of limitations has expired (26 years) but with the way the military is today you can never be sure.

 

We like to put BOLO's out for new MP's on their first patrol. They then spend the next half hour searching for a vehicle with a description eerily similar to a patrol vehicle, with a driver eerily similar to themselves, last spotted right in their sector...