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Old 10-23-2009, 10:55 AM   #21
Motivator
YayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Q: Why do they use liquid soap in the Navy?
A: Because it takes a lot longer to pick up
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Old 10-23-2009, 10:57 AM   #22
Join the NRA! Protect your freedom!
NraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shedNraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shedNraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shedNraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shedNraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shedNraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shedNraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shedNraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shedNraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shedNraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shedNraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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HA! Thats some funny shit!
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Old 10-23-2009, 10:57 AM   #23
Motivator
YayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Q: Why is it so cheap to train the Al Qaeda Airforce?
A: Because you only teach them how to take off!
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Old 10-26-2009, 07:47 PM   #25
Sure..Whatever.
keppert is on a distinguished road
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U=Ure
S=Screwed
C=Coming and
G=Going
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Old 10-27-2009, 03:19 PM   #26
Senior Member
L8Rmike has a brilliant futureL8Rmike has a brilliant futureL8Rmike has a brilliant futureL8Rmike has a brilliant futureL8Rmike has a brilliant futureL8Rmike has a brilliant futureL8Rmike has a brilliant futureL8Rmike has a brilliant futureL8Rmike has a brilliant futureL8Rmike has a brilliant futureL8Rmike has a brilliant future
 
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U - you
S - Sure
A - are
F - F@#ked
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Old 11-27-2009, 05:09 PM   #28
Carolina Alliance Southwest Region Ambassador
jandrews is one of the sharper tools in the shedjandrews is one of the sharper tools in the shedjandrews is one of the sharper tools in the shedjandrews is one of the sharper tools in the shedjandrews is one of the sharper tools in the shedjandrews is one of the sharper tools in the shedjandrews is one of the sharper tools in the shedjandrews is one of the sharper tools in the shedjandrews is one of the sharper tools in the shedjandrews is one of the sharper tools in the shedjandrews is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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A Short History of the French Military:

Gallic Wars: Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare - "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchmen."

Italian Wars: Lost. France becomes the first and only country ever to lose two wars when fighting Italians.

Wars of Religion: France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.

Thirty Years' War: France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

War of Devolution: Tied; Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

The Dutch War: Tied.

War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. Deluded Frogophiles the world over label the period as the height of French Military Power.

War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved ever since.

American Revolution: In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting".

French Revolution: Won, primarily due to the fact that the opponent was also French.

The Napoleonic Wars: Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

The Franco-Prussian War: Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

WWI: Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like not only to sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

WWII: Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

War in Indochina: Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with Dien Bien Flu.

Algerian Rebellion: Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a Western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare -"We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese, and Eskimos.

War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe.
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Old 12-09-2009, 09:13 PM   #31
Bah Humshit!
brian is one of the sharper tools in the shedbrian is one of the sharper tools in the shedbrian is one of the sharper tools in the shedbrian is one of the sharper tools in the shedbrian is one of the sharper tools in the shedbrian is one of the sharper tools in the shedbrian is one of the sharper tools in the shedbrian is one of the sharper tools in the shedbrian is one of the sharper tools in the shedbrian is one of the sharper tools in the shedbrian is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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USCG: The Navy goes overseas alot, someone has to keep their wives company.
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Old 12-18-2009, 12:00 PM   #32
Motivator
YayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Why did God create Marines?

So the Army, Airforce, Navy, Firefighters, and Police Officers could have a hero, too...
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Old 06-01-2010, 09:19 PM   #33
Senior Member
tacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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How many Coasties does it take to hold a burial at sea?
Seven.
Six to commit the deceased to the deep, one to pound him into the mud.
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Old 06-01-2010, 11:16 PM   #35
Piss off
jhodge83 is one of the sharper tools in the shedjhodge83 is one of the sharper tools in the shedjhodge83 is one of the sharper tools in the shedjhodge83 is one of the sharper tools in the shedjhodge83 is one of the sharper tools in the shedjhodge83 is one of the sharper tools in the shedjhodge83 is one of the sharper tools in the shedjhodge83 is one of the sharper tools in the shedjhodge83 is one of the sharper tools in the shedjhodge83 is one of the sharper tools in the shedjhodge83 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L8Rmike View Post
Not a joke, but still funny and military.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5Qr78lH-4E
haha....nice
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Old 06-02-2010, 02:21 AM   #36
Senior Member
Leadgolem is one of the sharper tools in the shedLeadgolem is one of the sharper tools in the shedLeadgolem is one of the sharper tools in the shedLeadgolem is one of the sharper tools in the shedLeadgolem is one of the sharper tools in the shedLeadgolem is one of the sharper tools in the shedLeadgolem is one of the sharper tools in the shedLeadgolem is one of the sharper tools in the shedLeadgolem is one of the sharper tools in the shedLeadgolem is one of the sharper tools in the shedLeadgolem is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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I'm surprised this hasn't been posted yet.
http://skippyslist.com/list/
A few excerpts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skippies list
7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
137. Should not show up at the front gate wearing part of a Russian uniform, messily drunk.
138. Even if my commander did it.
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Old 06-02-2010, 10:11 AM   #37
Senior Member
Taco Gunner is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco Gunner is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco Gunner is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco Gunner is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco Gunner is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco Gunner is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco Gunner is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco Gunner is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco Gunner is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco Gunner is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco Gunner is one of the sharper tools in the shed
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Cannot be true. It is against the law for the military to be used in a law ENFORCEMENT capacity.

Posse Comitatus Act.

Trust me, the amount of crap we see in the southern part of the state, we would love to get involved, especially going to or from the range!

invl
Quote:
Originally Posted by chris4x4 View Post
The following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred in Los Angeles.

The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store.

At the scene, the cop told the Marines to "cover" him as he approched the store (to police, "cover" means to point your weapons in the direction of the threat, to Marines it means lay down a base of fire!).

The Marines promptly laid down a base of fire. The Marines fired 178 rounds before they stopped shooting.

The thief, probably a little scared at this point, called 911 and reported, "They're shooting at me!".
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Old 06-05-2010, 06:04 PM   #38
Member
ThizzMex has much to be proud ofThizzMex has much to be proud ofThizzMex has much to be proud ofThizzMex has much to be proud ofThizzMex has much to be proud ofThizzMex has much to be proud ofThizzMex has much to be proud ofThizzMex has much to be proud of
 
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N- Never
A- Again
V- Volunteer
Y- Yourself
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Old 06-05-2010, 08:39 PM   #39
Shadetree Artilleryman
dudeondacouch is a glorious beacon of lightdudeondacouch is a glorious beacon of lightdudeondacouch is a glorious beacon of lightdudeondacouch is a glorious beacon of lightdudeondacouch is a glorious beacon of lightdudeondacouch is a glorious beacon of light
 
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Army:
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Q: Why does the Navy put Marines on their ships?

A: Because sheep would be too obvious.






A little boy was standing in front of a mirror in the restroom at John F. Kennedy Airport, when in walked a Marine staff sergeant, wearing his dress blues. The little boy turned to the Marine and said, "Wow! Are you a Marine?"
The Marine replied, "Why, yes I am, young man. Would you like to wear my hat?"

"Boy, would I!," said the little boy. He took the hat and placed it on his head and turned to admire himself in the mirror.

As he was looking in the mirror, he heard the door open and through a ray of bright light, a man entered the room.

But, this was not just a man -- he was more than a man. He was an Airborne Ranger.
The little boy turned and went over to the Soldier. As he approached him, he could see the reflection in his boots. His eyes widened as he stared up at the Soldier's chest full of medals and combat ribbons. He tried to speak, but he couldn't.

Finally, he took a deep breath, and managed to say, "Excuse me, Sir. Are you... are you an Airborne Ranger?"
The Ranger replied with a thunderous voice, "Why yes, I am. Would you like to shine my boots?"

The little boy smiled, and said, "Oh, no sir! I'm not a Marine... I'm just wearing his hat!"
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Old 06-05-2010, 08:46 PM   #40
747 747 is offline
function > form
747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Navy cadets' lack of situational awareness at Air Force v. Navy game...(the "yes, we know" was already on the pic...not my addition):
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