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Old 06-05-2010, 07:50 PM   #41
747 747 is offline
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747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed747 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Air Force cadets[?]...

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Old 06-05-2010, 07:55 PM   #42
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rentbw is a splendid one to beholdrentbw is a splendid one to beholdrentbw is a splendid one to beholdrentbw is a splendid one to beholdrentbw is a splendid one to beholdrentbw is a splendid one to beholdrentbw is a splendid one to behold
 
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Whats the difference between a Female NCO and a Zebra?
The Zebra didnt have to lay on its back to get its stripes.

That one could get me introuble lol
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Old 06-05-2010, 08:10 PM   #43
Shadetree Artilleryman
dudeondacouch is a glorious beacon of lightdudeondacouch is a glorious beacon of lightdudeondacouch is a glorious beacon of lightdudeondacouch is a glorious beacon of lightdudeondacouch is a glorious beacon of lightdudeondacouch is a glorious beacon of light
 
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Old 06-05-2010, 08:22 PM   #44
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adamstoy is on a distinguished road
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2 marines walk into a bar, order some beers and start chanting 51 days! 51 days!. the bartender gets curious after awhile and goes over to the table and asks "why are you chanting 51 days over and over again" the marine replies " we put together a puzzle that said 2-4 years and we got it done in 51 days"
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Old 06-06-2010, 06:53 AM   #45
Senior Member
tacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Brother Taco Nuts. Thank you for all the new posts. Most of them I never heard before. Here's one the Chaplin told my company in boot camp:
The American embassy in Bumfuckegypt was holding a reception. The ambassador's wife was circulating among the guests with a plate of hors d'oeuvres when she came to the Gunny Sargent of the Marine Guard. "Sargent would you like some hors d'oeuvres"? she asked. "No thank you mamm, I don't like that shit" the Gunny said. Well! and off she went to see to her other guests. As all Marines look alike to civilians this happened several times. Each time she got the same response, "no thank you mamm I don't like that shit". She finially went crying to the Commanding Officer of the Marine Guard, "Colonel I keep asking your Sargent if wants some of these hors d'oeuvers and he keeps saying he dosn't like that shit"! "Well mamm" the Colonel replied "if he dosen't want any of that goddamned shit, don't fuckin' give him any.
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Old 06-10-2010, 01:43 PM   #48
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ScottyKC is one of the sharper tools in the shedScottyKC is one of the sharper tools in the shedScottyKC is one of the sharper tools in the shedScottyKC is one of the sharper tools in the shedScottyKC is one of the sharper tools in the shedScottyKC is one of the sharper tools in the shedScottyKC is one of the sharper tools in the shedScottyKC is one of the sharper tools in the shedScottyKC is one of the sharper tools in the shedScottyKC is one of the sharper tools in the shedScottyKC is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Why does a Navy seamen salute a shit as he flushes the toilet?

He is sending another Marine out to see.
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Old 06-14-2010, 10:41 AM   #51
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tacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacomathom is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Agent475 View Post
"When I joined the military it was illegal to be homosexual, then it became optional. I'm getting out before Obama makes it mandatory." -GySgt Harry Berres, USMC
Gunny, I think the correct response would be: Aye Aye Sir!
Now for something completely different: One dark and stormy night, Ensign Hardtack was standing the 0400 to 0800 OOD watch on the bridge. She called down to the Wardroom to have some coffee sent up. A sleepy voice answered the phone "yeah?" "Sailor don't you know how to answer the phone on a warship?" she yelled into the phone, "let's try that again". A short pause then "Captain's cabin, Captain speaking sir!"
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Old 06-14-2010, 10:52 AM   #53
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396tears is one of the sharper tools in the shed396tears is one of the sharper tools in the shed396tears is one of the sharper tools in the shed396tears is one of the sharper tools in the shed396tears is one of the sharper tools in the shed396tears is one of the sharper tools in the shed396tears is one of the sharper tools in the shed396tears is one of the sharper tools in the shed396tears is one of the sharper tools in the shed396tears is one of the sharper tools in the shed396tears is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Navy: BMC  -  Retired USNR
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The difference between a fairy tale & a sea story

A fairy tales starts out "Once upon a time"

A sea story starts out "This ain't no shit"





BMC - USN - Retired
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Old 06-14-2010, 11:06 AM   #54
Senior Member
Taco76087 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco76087 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco76087 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco76087 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco76087 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco76087 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco76087 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco76087 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco76087 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco76087 is one of the sharper tools in the shedTaco76087 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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When my dad was in the Marines and was with the Blue Angels, the Marines always said that the Blue Angels consisted of about 400 sailors and 15 Marines, so it was about even.
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Old 06-18-2010, 04:05 AM   #56
If you want it bad, you usually get it bad!
Mark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Navy: LCDR Mustang (Ret) - 30 yrs - Submarine and Target Service
Name: Mark
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True Story:........One of my brothers (former Navy UDT Boatswains Mate, purple heart, silver star) and I were in a bar in northern VT one Saturday having a beer. As we finished our 2nd beer, a young Marine came in and pullled up to the bar. After he'd had a few beers, he started with sea stories concerning exploits that he could not have accomplished in his short life. After hearing him refer to sailors in demeaning terms and water taxi drivers, my brother approached and started small talk, and bought him a beer. My brother then asked the young Marine what the Marine emblem stood for, and the proud reply went something like this: The earth signifies global coverage, the anchor indicates our history and that we come from the sea; the Eagle symolizes freedom, our country, and that we can strike from the air." "Wow", said my brother, "For all these years I thought that was a buzzard sitting on an eight ball with an anchor shoved up his ass, screaming, 'GO NAVY'!"
My brother slowly walked away from the youngster, who quietly finished his beer and left.
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Old 06-18-2010, 04:12 AM   #57
If you want it bad, you usually get it bad!
Mark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Navy: LCDR Mustang (Ret) - 30 yrs - Submarine and Target Service
Name: Mark
Joined: Nov 2009, #26250
Location: Connecticut
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Q: What purpose is served by the flap on the front of the Navy Dress Blue Trousers?

A: Marine's bib.

(I actually have served with Marines and admire their discipline, courage, dedication, and spirit. Our nation would not be near as strong without them.)
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Old 06-18-2010, 05:08 AM   #58
Senior Member
Rainman998 is one of the sharper tools in the shedRainman998 is one of the sharper tools in the shedRainman998 is one of the sharper tools in the shedRainman998 is one of the sharper tools in the shedRainman998 is one of the sharper tools in the shedRainman998 is one of the sharper tools in the shedRainman998 is one of the sharper tools in the shedRainman998 is one of the sharper tools in the shedRainman998 is one of the sharper tools in the shedRainman998 is one of the sharper tools in the shedRainman998 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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What does shit sound like when it hits the fan?



MARINE!!!
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Old 06-19-2010, 05:43 AM   #59
Shadetree Artilleryman
dudeondacouch is a glorious beacon of lightdudeondacouch is a glorious beacon of lightdudeondacouch is a glorious beacon of lightdudeondacouch is a glorious beacon of lightdudeondacouch is a glorious beacon of lightdudeondacouch is a glorious beacon of light
 
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:lol:
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Old 06-21-2010, 07:04 AM   #60
If you want it bad, you usually get it bad!
Mark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shedMark C. is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Navy: LCDR Mustang (Ret) - 30 yrs - Submarine and Target Service
Name: Mark
Joined: Nov 2009, #26250
Location: Connecticut
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,253
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Two Master Chief Petty Officers with many service hash marks were on liberty in Copenhagen. As they were walking down a street in the "Red Light" district, they saw a young lady sitting in the display window advertising her wares. A marquee sign directly above her read, "Something you've never had before! Only 75 Euros!"
One of the Master Chiefs turned to the other and said, "It must be leprosy. Let's keep moving."
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