Mike "Wuzzy121". Rest in peace, brother

Go Back   Tacoma World Forums > Off-Topic > Military

Notices

Military Jokes - Share 'Em

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 10-11-2009, 08:10 PM   #1
Motivator
YayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shedYayAreaTaco0311 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
YayAreaTaco0311's Avatar
Marines: Police Caller
Joined: Oct 2009, #23946
Location: California
Gender: Male
Posts: 738
YayAreaTaco0311's Tacoma Gallery
Military Jokes - Share 'Em

Pls. share any.mil jokes!

Mine:

Why does a military discharge feel like an orgasm?

Because the closer you get, the better it feels.

lol.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2009, 09:03 PM   #3
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
chris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
chris4x4's Avatar
Name: FlimFlubberJAM
Joined: May 2008, #6497
Location: Tenoe, AZ
Gender: Male
Posts: 96,567
chris4x4's Tacoma Gallery
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.

"Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click."

"Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle."

"What was the jingle?" asked the first. "Oh," replied the other offhand, "just our medals."
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2009, 09:04 PM   #4
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
chris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
chris4x4's Avatar
Name: FlimFlubberJAM
Joined: May 2008, #6497
Location: Tenoe, AZ
Gender: Male
Posts: 96,567
chris4x4's Tacoma Gallery
It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty.

A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out "Sir, Good Evening, Sir!"

The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said "Good evening soldier, nice night, isn't it?"

Well it wasn't a nice night, but the Private wasn't going to disagree with the General, so the he saluted again and replied "Sir, Yes Sir!".

The General continued, "You know there's something about a stormy night that I find soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?"

The Private didn't agree, but them the private was just a private, and responded "Sir, Yes Sir!"

The General, pointing at the dog, "This is a Golden Retriever, the best type of dog to train."

The Private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said "Sir, Yes Sir!"

The General continued "I got this dog for my wife."

The Private simply said "Good trade Sir!"
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2009, 09:05 PM   #5
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
chris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
chris4x4's Avatar
Name: FlimFlubberJAM
Joined: May 2008, #6497
Location: Tenoe, AZ
Gender: Male
Posts: 96,567
chris4x4's Tacoma Gallery
The following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred in Los Angeles.

The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store.

At the scene, the cop told the Marines to "cover" him as he approched the store (to police, "cover" means to point your weapons in the direction of the threat, to Marines it means lay down a base of fire!).

The Marines promptly laid down a base of fire. The Marines fired 178 rounds before they stopped shooting.

The thief, probably a little scared at this point, called 911 and reported, "They're shooting at me!".
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2009, 09:10 PM   #6
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
chris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
chris4x4's Avatar
Name: FlimFlubberJAM
Joined: May 2008, #6497
Location: Tenoe, AZ
Gender: Male
Posts: 96,567
chris4x4's Tacoma Gallery
A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain.

"What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?"

"Throw out an anchor, sir," the student replied.

"What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"

"Throw out another anchor, sir."

"And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do then?" asked the captain.

"Throw out another anchor, sir."

"Hold on," said the captain. "Where are you getting all those anchors from?"

"From the same place you're getting your storms, sir."
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2009, 09:12 PM   #7
Senior Member
cmack cmack cmack cmack cmack cmack cmack cmack cmack cmack cmack
Joined: Jun 2009, #18119
Gender: Male
Posts: 616
cmack's Tacoma Gallery
Chris, you and your jokes.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2009, 09:13 PM   #8
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
chris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
chris4x4's Avatar
Name: FlimFlubberJAM
Joined: May 2008, #6497
Location: Tenoe, AZ
Gender: Male
Posts: 96,567
chris4x4's Tacoma Gallery
Submarines are safer than airplanes. Proof in the fact is there are more airplanes in the water than submarines in the air!
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2009, 10:14 PM   #9
Senior Member
Notty has much to be proud ofNotty has much to be proud ofNotty has much to be proud ofNotty has much to be proud ofNotty has much to be proud ofNotty has much to be proud ofNotty has much to be proud ofNotty has much to be proud of
 
Notty's Avatar
Army: 100% Disabled
Joined: May 2008, #6505
Location: 5Twenty
Gender: Male
Posts: 321
Notty's Tacoma Gallery
What does Marine stand for?

Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Essential
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-11-2009, 10:21 PM   #11
Senior Member
Notty has much to be proud ofNotty has much to be proud ofNotty has much to be proud ofNotty has much to be proud ofNotty has much to be proud ofNotty has much to be proud ofNotty has much to be proud ofNotty has much to be proud of
 
Notty's Avatar
Army: 100% Disabled
Joined: May 2008, #6505
Location: 5Twenty
Gender: Male
Posts: 321
Notty's Tacoma Gallery
A Marine is just a Sailor with a nice uniform on. You can put nice rims on a Daewoo, but it's still a piece of sh*t! hahaha
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2009, 07:49 AM   #12
Senior Member
Neked09 is a name known to allNeked09 is a name known to allNeked09 is a name known to allNeked09 is a name known to allNeked09 is a name known to allNeked09 is a name known to all
 
Neked09's Avatar
Army:
Joined: Jun 2008, #7544
Location: Arkansas
Gender: Male
Posts: 122
Neked09's Tacoma Gallery
Why did the Sailor reenlist?





He didn't want to leave his buddies behind.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2009, 07:54 AM   #13
Join the NRA! Protect your freedom!
NraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shedNraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shedNraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shedNraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shedNraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shedNraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shedNraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shedNraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shedNraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shedNraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shedNraFan is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
NraFan's Avatar
Name: JT
Joined: Sep 2009, #22703
Location: SoCal
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,619
NraFan's Tacoma Gallery
The ARMY, now theres a joke! J/K
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2009, 11:46 AM   #15
Senior Member
RogueLeader has a brilliant futureRogueLeader has a brilliant futureRogueLeader has a brilliant futureRogueLeader has a brilliant futureRogueLeader has a brilliant futureRogueLeader has a brilliant futureRogueLeader has a brilliant futureRogueLeader has a brilliant futureRogueLeader has a brilliant futureRogueLeader has a brilliant futureRogueLeader has a brilliant future
 
RogueLeader's Avatar
Air Force: Aircraft Armament Tech
Name: Rod
Joined: Aug 2009, #21162
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Gender: Male
Posts: 307
RogueLeader's Tacoma Gallery
Why is the Air Force like a fan? When you stand in front of it, it blows. When you stand behind it, it sucks. When you stand to the side, it doesn't do a damn thing for you.

An army general, a naval admiral, and an air force general were bragging about which branch had the most courageous troops. The army general takes the other two out to a tank training exercise and tells a private to jump in front of a tank and stop it. The soldier gets run over and the army general says, "That took a lot of courage." The admiral takes the two generals out to an aircraft carrier and tells a sailor to jump off the deck without his life vest during a man overboard drill. The sailor dives in and is lost at sea. "That took courage," says the admiral. The air force general takes the army general and admiral up in a C-140 and tells an airman to jump out of the plane without a parachute. The airman says, "Fuck you!" The air force general says, "Now that's courage!"
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2009, 12:24 PM   #16
Senior Member
L8Rmike has a brilliant futureL8Rmike has a brilliant futureL8Rmike has a brilliant futureL8Rmike has a brilliant futureL8Rmike has a brilliant futureL8Rmike has a brilliant futureL8Rmike has a brilliant futureL8Rmike has a brilliant futureL8Rmike has a brilliant futureL8Rmike has a brilliant futureL8Rmike has a brilliant future
 
L8Rmike's Avatar
Air Force: Retired
Joined: Mar 2008, #5162
Location: Goose Creek, SC
Gender: Dude
Posts: 253
L8Rmike's Tacoma Gallery
Not a joke, but still funny and military.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5Qr78lH-4E
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2009, 01:05 PM   #18
Mind = Blown
Loudpedal is one of the sharper tools in the shedLoudpedal is one of the sharper tools in the shedLoudpedal is one of the sharper tools in the shedLoudpedal is one of the sharper tools in the shedLoudpedal is one of the sharper tools in the shedLoudpedal is one of the sharper tools in the shedLoudpedal is one of the sharper tools in the shedLoudpedal is one of the sharper tools in the shedLoudpedal is one of the sharper tools in the shedLoudpedal is one of the sharper tools in the shedLoudpedal is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
Loudpedal's Avatar
Army: EOD
Name: Blair
Joined: Oct 2009, #23661
Location: Not really New, not really Mexico
Gender: Guy
Posts: 2,040
Loudpedal's Tacoma Gallery
A sailor walks into the head at the Pentagon.
A Marine is at the urinal finishing his business, flushes and heads for the door.
Sailor says, "Excuse me, Marine, but in the Navy they teach us to wash our hands after using the head."
The Marine replies, "Well in the Corps they teach us not to piss on our hands."
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
MUD FLAPS! KEEP EM OR DITCH EM? 911tacoma 2nd Gen. Builds 5 10-26-2013 01:54 PM
Tonneau Covers!!!! who got em'? Lets see em'... 4DR4x4 2nd Gen. Tacomas 59 12-29-2011 01:57 PM
calling al 2nd gen tacoma ext cab lifted trucks lets see em n show em bulldogmantrd 2nd Gen. Tacomas 4 07-08-2011 05:53 PM
fun in the snow video post em if you got em lightmup Tacoma Videos 5 12-14-2010 07:16 PM


Copyright © 2014 Tacoma Forum. Tacoma World is not owned by, or affiliated with Toyota Motor Corporation.