45 Reasons to Re-Enlist

EDIT **Didn't notice till now, apparently this is just AF. but im sure we can all relate some way or another**

45 Great Reasons to Reenlist



1. Yesterday sucked, today sucked, tomorrow is going to suck, and this
seems to be a pretty solid forecast for the rest of my enlistment.

2. Spending 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year training for
something that there is a 99.9% chance that we will never do.

3. WWWDWOA? (what would we do without acronyms?)

4. Taking simple daily tasks and breaking them down into nuclear physics
before doing them.

5. Having to attend a brief prior to carrying out any task more
complicated than picking my nose.

6. Being a personal servant (that's basically all I am) to any one of
the 300 thousand people in the air force who out-rank me.

7. Being an adult and having somebody inspecting me everyday to make
sure I put my clothes on properly, and put my shoes on the right feet.

8. Having to wear a "cover" or hat, every time I want to go outside.

9. I love cleaning the same places over and over and over until either
the paint comes off or my hands are bleeding.

10. Without the air force's influence and good teaching, I would never
have realized that you can sweep water with a broom for hours.

11. There just isn't that many jobs out there where you can rest
assured that everyone you work for is just waiting to screw you over any
way they possibly can.

12. Even though we can deploy and be in Mogadishu within 48 hours it
takes finance 3 weeks to fix your paycheck when the computer randomly
selects you to get Airman Basic pay.

13. Getting to pick out my clothes whenever I'm not at work.

14. Getting to eat meat that comes in boxes labeled "not fit for human
consumption" and "for institutional use only."

15. Getting "random" drug tests every couple of weeks. Not many people
can testify to taking about 50 drug tests in the past two years without
having ever been caught doing drugs in my life.

16. Waking up every morning and going to "staff meeting" where a piece
of paper is read to me even though it is posted on the wall and on the
offices internet, both of which I have access to. I guess I can't read.

17. Going to medical complaining of severe heart and chest pain and
being told to come back during "sick-call" the next day.

18. I love the fact that my opinion has about as much influence as my
sister's pet iguana's.

19. Ever try and put in your 30 days notice?

20. You do not have to respect the person, you have to respect what
they wear on their collar or sleeve.

21. No matter how many water safety briefings I get they'll still send
me to the desert.

22. I hate good food.

23. I love the "you are U.S. ambassadors" speech.

24. I hate spending time with my family.

25. Not only getting to do my own job, but getting stuck with as many
additional duties as my chain of command wants to give me.

26. Having to change your computer password every two weeks to keep
terrorists from hacking into my e-mail and stealing all of these jokes.

27. When you get out you will only be 38-40. You still have your entire
life ahead of you. Yeah, okay, I want my life to start at 38.

28. For the last time! Would someone please tell me where the local
area ends?!

29. Oh, look...There's the boss. We better all stand at attention until
he tells us we can move. Do they do that in the civilian world too?

30. Is that local time or Zulu?

31. I want to work somewhere that has total control of my paycheck so
that they can take half if I don't pay my bills.

32. If I get in trouble out in town I would like to get woken up the
next day at 6 am and have to stand in front of my boss, manager,
assistant manager, and anyone else who has nothing better to do so that
they can all chew my butt.

33. Can we be tested to make sure we are physically-fit every year only
please make exceptions to this for enormously fat 30+ year old Senior
NCO.

34. Where else can you pay taxes to pay your own paycheck?

35. You take an oath to support and defend the Constitution, and after
that the Constitution doesn't even apply to you.

36. Because only during magic shows and air force working hours are the
rules of logic suspended.

37. Because no-matter how stupid you are, you will eventually get
promoted by accumulating points from not getting promoted.

38. Where else can you get given shots by people who claim to practice
medicine that didn't even graduate from high school?

39. Where else can you get your teeth drilled and messed up by those
same people even though you've never had a cavity?

40. Because if you've had enough military bull for one lifetime and you
want to quit, you can rest assured that the air force will do everything
it can to make that impossible.

41. Because it's fun to go to medical to get your eyes checked out and
have the tech point a light in your eye for ten minutes until you are
blind and then to hear them say, "that was cool, let's try the other
one."

42. Why did our parents even bother giving us first names?

43. IN what other job can you do things NOT the RIGHT WAY, but the AIR
FORCE WAY?

44. Sitting around twiddling my thumbs all day long until about 4:00pm,
even though I finished all of my work by ten in the morning is really
fun to do every FREAKING DAY...it builds character.

45. Who really wants to have any control over their life anyway?

 

Thats funny. But come on, it's not that bad. I've been a Marine for 10 years. I love what I do. The Air Force can't be that bad.

 

oh its not.. its easy shit.. I was just passing it along got that emailed to me today..

 

I got a funny one about the aviation side where I work. Ill find it and post it up on here.

 

You Might be an Aircraft Maintainer IF.....


(If you don't understand these, don't worry, only a real aircraft
maintainer would!)

You've ever said, "Oh yes sir, it's supposed to look like that."

You've ever sucked LOX to cure a hangover.

You know what JP4/JP5 (jet fuel) tastes like.

You've ever used a piece of safety wire as a toothpick.

You've ever had to say, "My boots are still black!" (or ever
spray-painted them black)

You have ever used soot from the tailpipe to blacken your boots.

You believe the aircraft has a soul.

You talk to the aircraft.

The only thing you know about any city is where the good bars are.

You know more about your coworkers than you do about your own family.

You can't figure out why maintenance officers exist.

You ever wished the pilot would just say, "Great aircraft!"

You take it as a badge of honor to be just called " a Det Hound."

You can't comprehend why everyone doesn't want to be a Maintainer.

You think everyone who isn't a Maintainer is a wimp.

You wondered where they keep finding the idiots that keep making up
stupid rules.

You've ever wished your jet would drop a Mk-84 on Saddam Hussein's
house.

You consider 'Moly-B' fingerprints on food an 'acquired taste'.

You've ever been told to "go get us some prop wash, a yard of flight
line or the keys to the jet.

You have ever jumped inside an intake to get out of the rain.

You consider a TDY a paid vacation.

The phrase "Oh, by the way..." makes your eye twitch.

Little yellow ear plugs are all over your house.


You have ever preflighted in really bad weather only to learn that the
flight was canceled hours ago.

Your spouse refuses to watch any aviation shows or attend air shows with
you.


The refrigerator in your barracks room is stocked only with beer!

You have ever looked for pictures of "your" jet in aviation books and
magazines.


You know that you are the best maintainer in the military and your jet
is the best in the fleet!

You can't figure out why two weeks of advance per-diem is gone after
three days.

You can sleep anywhere, anytime. But as soon as the engines shut down
you are wide awake.

Almost everyone thinks that all you do is wave your arms in the air.

You have ever used a cranial, wheel chock, or tow bar for a pillow.


You have ever stood on wheel chocks to keep your feet dry.

You have ever used a pair of Dykes to trim a fingernail.

You have ever pulled the gun switch while riding brakes.

You have ever started a jet inside the hanger!

You have ever wiped your hands on your pants.

You have ever wiped leaks right before a crew show.

You have ever worn someone else's hat just to go to chow.

All you care about is the flying schedule and your days off.

You have ever had to defuel your jet an hour after fueling it.

Everyone you know has some kind of nickname.

You have used the "Pull Chocks" hand signal to tell your buddies it is
time to leave.


You have ever bled hydraulic fluid into a Gatorade bottle or soda can
because you are too lazy to go get a hydraulic bucket and the Hazmat
keys.


You hate that people who work at the gym handing out towels get the same
pay as you.

If have you ever been tackled, duct taped to a tow bar, covered in PET
and sand, egged, sourmilked, peanut buttered and jellied, and slapped
under the emergency wash station in 30 deg weather?

You know in your heart that your jet is female.

You refer to ANY machine as "she."

You refer to QA as "the enemy."

You hate Ops, Maintenance Control, QA, and cops.

You've ever made a new pilot buy you a beer just to put his name on the
canopy.

You enjoy drinking beer after work and watching the squadron next door
pull an engine.

You think JP8 and Skoal wintergreen taste good together.

You know the international marshalling sign for "pull your head out of
your ass."

You know the words "beer", "taxi", and "hotel" in at least three
different languages.

You've ever worked weekend duty on a jet that isn't flying on Monday.

You've wanted the jet to start just so you can warm up.

You can't remember half of your coworkers real names... only their
nicknames.

You fix 30 million dollar jets, but can't figure out what's wrong with
your $150 lawnmower.

Your toolbox at home has wheels and foam cutouts, just like the ones at
work.

Some of the tools in your toolbox at home are etched.

If the way you measure the cost of living in other countries is by the
price of a beer at a bar.

~ Quotes ~

"Always remember, if not for the aircraft maintainers,

the world's hottest fighter pilot would be in the infantry!"

"You can train a monkey to ride a bike, but you can't train one to fix
it!"


~ as quoted to pilots by pissed-off groundcrew for generations.


"It takes a college education to break it, but a high school education
to fix it."

~ Fighter Pilots ~


Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?
A: He'll tell you.

Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots?
A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.

Q: What's the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine?
A: A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.

 

I really like 34 and 38.

 

Doh. Sounds like the guys at the Gym bantering back an forth. The Marines give the airforce guys a hard time. And the Rangers, Call the navy "coast guard".

Not that I have any input on any of it, just reminded me of that.

 

It may all be in fun but a lot of it is so true. I have to laugh now that I am not in anymore.

 

thats really awesome.

 

Nice list. Don't have to worry about black boots anymore though. The Corps has gotten so much easier for guys just coming in. I remember talking to a couple of our nuggets right when they checked in about boot camp. No ironing cammies, no polishing boots, very limited verbal "abuse". What the hell happened. I think I spent more time ironing and polishing than I did learning rifle movements. This whole PC b/s is making our country weaker.

 

LOL!!! Ya, pretty much 90% of thoughs are true. "All you care about is the flying schedule and your days off." And "You think of QA as the enemy." SO SO TRUE!!! You ever notice that when QA changes a rule they don't let anyone know, they just come out and bust you for doing it the old way. Even though the old way was legal two days ago? Im a deployed KC-10 eng guy. And just yesterday I used a chock as a pillow. lol.

 

Sounds like you are in the same situation Im in. Deployed F-18 eng mech. I sleep in the intake when Im waiting for pilots.

 

That's hilarious!

 

yeah these work in army aviation also. I'm a AH-64D Armament/avionics/electrical systems repairer

 

Haha... did you make that? LOL

 

Yeah, that crew chief picture is spot on. I am having a hard time trying to fix radios without the use of a BFH.

Here is a funny e-mail i got yesterday.....

...conversation overheard on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz
while flying from Europe to Dubai .


It's too good not to pass along...



The conversation went like this...

Iranian Air Defense Radar: 'Unknown aircraft you are in Iranian airspace.
Identify yourself.'

Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'

Air Defense Radar: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our
airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft!'

Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 fighter. Send 'em up,
I'll wait!'

Air Defense Radar: (no response .... total silence)








And....

Two Muslim mothers are comparing notes.

The older of the Muslim mothers pulls out her bag and starts flipping through family photos and reminiscing.

"This is my oldest son, Mohamed. He would have been 24 now."

The other Mom replies, "I remember him as a baby."

The first mother says, "He's a martyr now."

"Oh, that's so sad, my dear."

Then the first mother flips to another picture. "And this is my second son, Abdul. He would be 21."

"Oh I remember him. He had such curly hair when he was born."

The first mother sighs, "He's also a martyr."

"Oh gracious me!" says the second mother.

"And this is my third son. My beautiful Ahmed! He would be 18 this year.

"Yes," says her friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school."

"He's also a martyr," the first mother says. She sobs. Her eyes now fill with tears.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photos, gently lays her hand on the first woman's shoulder and says:

"They blow up so fast, don't they?"

 

well you cant iron the uniforms that got velcroe on them and will melt and the boots are tan nilon but i can do a shit load of push ups, run like the wind and swim like a fish

 

All that...is what 99.9% of our dumb ass society needs to straighten their asses out and make them into honorable human beings!!

 

Ughhh, I'm getting close to my window. Really don't want to re-enlist again.. if my career didn't have a huge bonus I wouldn't even be considering staying in. FML.