Dumb injuries

Oh I did but not till years later
I have a few more but I would have writers cramp
by the time I finished

 

Woo boy you all have some doosie stories on here!
I'm all glad we are here to tell em.

My classic bonehead move was trying to pull a tack out of a wall with scissors. Well when the tack came out, the scissors came back & stuck in my cheek. I did swear a bit. Lesson: Always use the proper tool.

Also, I "once" tried to catch a bow saw while pruning a tree. I recommend NOT catching a bow saw! Those little jagged edges hurt BIG TIME. Lesson: Let sharp tools fall to the ground & wear gloves doing yard work!

 

I was at work, my first real job. Right after lunch I have to go to the bathroom. A number two. As I'm sitting there I look at my watch and notice that the time is wrong. Now the watch I'm wearing is a cheapy, this is back in the 80's, mind you, and you had to use something pointed to push the little button in to reset the watch. So I take off the watch and break out my buck knife. I start pushing the button in but the watch isn't resetting. So I push harder. The knife slips and cuts across the face of the watch. Damn it, I'm thinking, I just ruined the watch. I turn the watch over to see how bad I scarred up the face and a stream of blood hits the wall. I look at my hand and notice a thin cut in between my thumb and forefinger. As I flex my hand another stream of blood comes out of the cut. Then I feel blood dripping on my leg. I turn my hand over and there's another cut next to my pinkie. Now I'm panicing. The hardest part was trying to wipe and hold pressure with the good hand. I get to the er and the x-ray shows that the knife passed completely thru my hand. I missed every bone and tendon. The doctor said I was lucky. I felt more embarrassed than anything. The funny thing is that I never felt the knife cut me.

 

Same job, again right after lunch. We had been using a forklift to move in a bunch of pipe to load on the saw. This forklift had a pole instead of forks, like the ones they use at a carpet store, to move the pipes in. It was loads easier than the other way of putting the pipe on a cart manually and then wheeling it into the building. Right before we went to lunch, my boss had parked the forklift and set the pole down, lest anyone trip over it. When he did that, The pole came unhooked. No problem, he said, we'll get it after lunch. Well, this pole weighed about 4-500 pounds. Can't really lift that, so we used the small electric hoist to pick it up. I set the pole back on the forklift and my boss says it's not in the center, slide it over. Not a problem, I said. He raises the hoist about waist high, it's easier to slide it when you can get some leverage. I grab the pole with both hands, got both legs right under it, I'm in a crouch, and I push. Come to find out that this particular device is meant to be put on from the side, it has a hook on the top and a hook on the bottom. I had only "hooked" it from the top. Pole comes off the forklift and I'm holding all of the weight and I go down like a sack of potatoes. End up breaking my left leg in two places, one above the ankle and right above the kneecap. I passed out. When I came to, I was lying in a bed in a hospital. I was off for 9 1/2 months for that one.

My boss never even called me to find out how I was doing while I was off. Bastard. But I got him back, sort of. I dated his daughter for about 6 months.

 

Trimming a tree in the backyard, the limbs I wanted to cut off weren't real high, but they were high enough. I got my trusty extension ladder and put it up against the tree. I'll be safe, I thought, and bungee-corded the top of the ladder around the tree. Got my chainsaw, climbed up the ladder, started the saw and started cutting the limbs. Now mind you, at this point of my life, I wasn't the smartest or most knowledgeable person. I started cutting thru the limb from the top, it starts to bend and break and the end of the limb hits the ground. I finally cut thru it and the limb snaps back at me. I catch it, but it's pushing against me. I managed to grab the top rung with my free hand, as my other hand is still holding the chainsaw. Which is running, of course. I didn't want to drop the saw as I had just bought it for this little episode. I manage to flick the stop button with my thumb, and I breath a little easier. But I'm still in a pickle with this limb pushing against me. Using my chainsaw-bound hand, I manage to push the limb up and away from me and it finally falls to the ground.

Like a dumbass, instead of stopping and counting my good fortune, I cut off the rest of the limbs. When I was done and everything was put away, I commented myself on being a lucky mf that day. Only later did I realize that when the first limb fell, it had hit my truck keys, I like to keep them sort of hanging outside my pocket, the key outside and the alarm inside, and I had lost them. Took me about two hours before I found them.

 

Man, I could write a book on all of my injuries, mishaps and close calls.

 

I tore the cartilage in my knee learning to unicycle.

 

Went to the doctor today because of my waterslide incident. I'm awaiting x-ray results to find out if my foot is just sprained or actually broken.

 

cant really remember.......maybe 14 or 15......somewhere round then anyway.