Age for marriage?

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yeah that's how i feel too. But then again I know she's wanting to do it, she'll mention it everyonce and a while and i'll kind of change the subject. But I dont want her to think its never going to happen and want to break up because of it( she saw this happen with my sister,..her boyfriend didnt want to marry her so she broke up with him and married the next boyfriend after like 6 months). I think her parents are up for it, theyve mentioned we should start looking into buying a house..and i'd only buy a house w/ her if i was married..yet her dad has also kind of mentioned waiting till her getting done with school....this is so confusing..

 

me and my wife were both 19 when we got married. we had been dating since we were 15. we were absolutely crazy about each other and knew for a while we wanted to get married. so we did and we are still just as crazy about each other as the day we got married. we're 24 now and we waited on kids till just 5 months ago so that we could do the things we wanted to do as a couple while we had the freedom to do so.

its honestly up to you guys. financially if you can swing it, and you guys have the same outlook on things you want to accomplish, and how you both want your household run, i say go for it. but if you're just the slightest bit hesitant or unsure, absolutely talk about your concerns with one another.

good luck to you man.

 

yeah i had a buddy who got married at 19, everyone thought he was crazy...but sounds like there still doing well after 2 years. As for kids...it would be a loooong time for that to happen..haha I know for sure we need to get our school done..I dont think marriage would stop her from going to school. it shouldnt considering we both have fulltime jobs that pay great. But if we got our degrees we would get paid even more..

 

Everyone is different. Some people are very mature for 21 and some are still children. If you really want to wait until school is done, talk it over with her. If you guys are truely compatible, she will probably wait. Of course at 40 years old and 12 years of marriage, I still have no idea what my wife thinks. Good luck.

 

My wife and I dated for two years then married, she was 19 and I was 20. That was 37 years ago. There's no guarantees, of course, but it does work. What is your reason for waiting? I say go ahead and get married but wait at least 5-years before starting a family. Best wishes to you and your girl.

 

My wife was 20 when we married (I was 24), and 30 years later it's still pretty good. However, it is a decision just for you two, as what works for one couple is not so good for another. I didn't have enough sense to go to college until after we married, and we don't regret either decision.

Tim Glover

 

I got married at 19 and divored at 33. You have to be careful, even tho you live together, marriage changes the dynamic. You can no longer just "walk" away if it all goes to shit. That being said, dude, she's hot, if you love her and she really wants it. Then go for it. It sounds like the two of you have your shit together pretty well, better than most your age. Its not worth losing her over.

 

Two things:

First, never tell her that you went to a truck forum asking opinions on whether or not you should marry her.

Second, if you think that you might want to actually marry her, why don't you just start looking at rings and get engaged? That alone will buy you another 1-2 years until the wedding.

My wife and I got married at 22 and 23 respectively. We've been together now for 12 years and all is well. There will never be the perfect age nor will you ever be in the perfect situation for marriage, buying a house, kids, ect. If you try to wait until you are perfectly set up for every next step in life, you will be dead before any one of them happens.

At the end of the day, try and make good decisions, but you also have to take a little leap of faith.

 

I took responsibility for my actions at 26 & married the host organism of my offspring which would have never happened if it hadn't been for the twins. Best thing in my life was the kids and at same time worst thing in my life was ever meeting their mother. I know, sounds harsh but I'm candy coating it for y'all here. Long story that I won't go into other than saying I gladly embraced being pushed out of my house and sadly away from the kids but fulfilled my obligations to the divorce decree and beyond. The kids are 23 now. I met my best friend and now first actual what I consider "wife" where I used to work after divorce and when kids were about 4. We became roomates then became more and lived together, HAPPILY, for 10 years before I considered getting married even tho we already were after 6 months as far as the state is concerned. Moral of the story here, MAKE DAMN SURE YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE GETTING INVOLVED WITH. You will never know someone until you live with them. I know this isn't the normal approved method but it is a way to ensure compatibility long term. I have never been happier and we have a team thing going on and we are both reaping the rewards that that brings. Make sure you know what you're getting into. It is much more complicated to undo after kids are involved and there is much dogshit involved with dealing with a fuckhead X and takes a VERY special woman to deal with that and still be into your relationship. Luckily I found just that type of woman that has braved the bullshittery that being a stepmother and having to deal with a total bitch X brings. Divorce decree done, bubbye X, kids are grown, we fucking survived! It didn't kill us, only made us stronger!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope this helps, lol. Choose wisely.

 

+1. I'd talk with her and be absolutely certain that she wouldn't try to pressure you into having kids for 5+ years. If she agreed, then I'd consider it. Plus ...... look at her ...... she's hot!!!

 

Marriage doesn't make sense for men at any age.


But, if you're going to do it anyway, 21 is as good as any other age.

 

That pic looks like the OP is hidin a boner, and rightfully so, or his arm would be around her, lol. J/K. Sounds like y'all are off to a good start. Here's a couple of useful words...COMPROMISE & COMMUNICATION. If you BOTH don't practice it there will be problems. It's a lot of give and take and sharing burdens and treasure. That is what makes it work for both people. If it doesn't work for both, it'll eventually work for neither of you. Good luck & by all means, HAVE FUN!

 

Speaking from experience here. I was 20 she was 19 both in college. I had to quit school for a while, work a couple of dead end jobs so she could finish up. I continued to work those jobs for a couple of more years before we were better able for me to go back to school. I think that would be the only thing we would do differently- the both of us finishing school. With all that said, we have been married for 16 yrs now!!!
I think that if you 2 truely love each other you 2 can wait a little while longer till at least she is finished with school. If its "true love" then she should be understanding of you and you should be understanding of her as well.

 

thanks guys. My question was never IF i was going to marry her, of course I want to marry her but when. Im going to talk to her about maybe a long engagement. I know shes got a certain date in mind that she would like to get married on. thanks again.

 

screw the age thing boss.... if you are sure that you want to marry her, then do it.
I know friends who got married at 18 and some worked, some didn't
I know friends who got married at 38 and some worked, some didn't.

I would suggest waiting til after school though. Focus on school, get the grades to get a good job, then financial security will come and you will be able to support your family.

Cheers and happiness

 

Do it to it man! Sounds like you got a keeper.

It's your choice overall but seeing as how you tend to be engaged for 1 year ish before the marriage... maybe pop the question and do the actual marriage/ceremony after school or right as your finishing up. That way she knows your serious and your actually listening to her when she talks about marriage

 

Or pop the question on graduation day.....

 

Buy her a ring. Wait to set a date. Make your intentions clear to the rest of your friends & family. She'll feel much more secure & so will you.
Figure out the rest later...
I was 29 and my wife was 24 when we got married - 7 years now.
Best of luck to you!