Top Gear BBC

You can get quotes from their shows here.

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Top_Gear

 

Jeremy: I admire Hammond for doing what he's doing. I admire all Arctic explorers. But I think the time has now come for the world to say let's see how easily we can get to the top of Everest. Let's see how easily we can get to the North Pole. I think we could forge a career as the world's worst explorers. [voiceover] Surprisingly, James was ahead of me on that one. James: What would really make it nice would be a gin and tonic. Would you like one?
Jeremy: What?
James: A gin and tonic.
Jeremy: Yes, I would like a gin and tonic, but we can't have a gin and tonic because we're in the Arctic Ocean.
James: I'll make you one.
Jeremy: What? [James produces the necessary items and ingredients] Jeremy: Hahahahahahaha! You've got gin!
James: I have.
Jeremy: And because we're in international waters there's no drink-drive laws.
James: Exactly.
Jeremy: Got any ice? [looks around him] That's a stupid question, isn't it?
James: Could you just slow down so I can slice the lemon for the gin and tonic?
Jeremy: Now this is Arctic exploration.

 

LMAO from that special

[Just before the rain starts to fall]
Jeremy: [voiceover] Still, at least I'd been assured it wouldn't rain. [And with that, the heavens open]
Jeremy: Name an upside to this, mate! Name ONE upside!
James: Well, you're not hot anymore, are you?
Jeremy: My light's dying. It's dying. My light's dying!
Jeremy: [voiceover] There was an upside though. Richard's Taliban bike had decided it liked the rain even less than me.
Richard: Come on now! [hops up and down whilst still on his bike] That's not so effective as I'd hoped it would be.
Jeremy: [shouting whilst driving through a big puddle] Oh my god! What the hell is going on in my life?! Why has my life gone so wrong?!
James: It's good for you!
Jeremy: [still shouting] IT'S NOT!
James: It is. Stop whining!
[Jeremy and James passing a small truck]
Jeremy: Hit that. Cheer me up—kill yourself.