American BS thread

I remember watching that fucking thing before youtube was a thing

 

Ahhh... the days of newgrounds. and ebaulmsworld.

 

albinoblacksheep was where the shit was at

and then the worms took the site over

 

Yea thats the one I meant.

Wow, I'm 3 paragraphs into this e-mail to the hotel manage, I didn't realize I was so satirical.

 

Excerpt from the e-mail:

First and foremost, the worst: I did not enjoy being woken up all 3 mornings at approx. 7:00 - 7:30am by a lawn mower 2 mornings and a worker with a gas powered hedge clipper the other morning. It’s a very unpleasant way to wake up to what was supposed to be a very relaxing vacation. Also, I am sure you are aware that these landscape maintenance tasks can take quite a long time to complete, ensuring that I was thoroughly woken up and unable to return to sleep afterwards. Now I know what you might be thinking, yes it is true I could have avoided this whole situation by staying in a room that wasn’t bordering the golf course. Like say, perhaps facing the resorts interior garden/pool area, or even by picking a room with an ocean view.

Which is a funny thought, because that’s exactly what I had requested when I first called to book our stay, an ocean view room. In fact, I even spent the extra money to upgrade to the “Deluxe Ocean View” room, because the phone operator assured me I would have a direct view of the ocean. Now to put this into perspective for you, we stayed in Room 2547 on the resort, which is the worst example of a “Direct Ocean View” I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. Poor advertising at its finest and I’d be curious to know what the definition of the hotels “Regular Ocean View” actually was. My mind envisions a room on the East side of the complex, with an inland view, and a complex series of mirrors reflecting around the corner, perhaps with a wide angle mirror at the end of the array, giving the illusion of a full coastal view.

 

Sup Mah ******?

 

Drinkin some O that Island brew.

 

that secret about that site I found

that's between us

 

Wut?

 

marcel knows

it's a secret

 

so my ex starts commenting on my insta and sends me a message on facebook

the current bf, of which I didn't know existed, apparently gets mad

I don't even know what to think of this situation

 

Don't even think about it. Bitches be crazy and that aint your problem.

 

Also, too bad for main funny pics page but found this today. The face is awesome:

 

my batshit crazy theory is proving itself truer and truer

 

Just to get it off the front page :

 

Dude, I TOLD you it's 100% true.

Hence why I avoid crazy with a vengence. Don't got time for that shit.

 

I need to build a time machine so I can punch myself in the face

 

I got a nice watch from the last crazy and the sex was great soo.. I can't OVERLY complain, not stuck with a kid or some shit.

 

Now I got a better watch from the new awesome one though

 

yeah... she was crazy
but she was crazy in the good way too

not enough to overpower the bad crazy though

you dodged a bullet there. Wherever she was, she got a headache and almost detonated the C4 she implanted in your scrotum