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Old 11-20-2008, 04:56 PM   #1
chris4x4 [OP] chris4x4 is offline
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
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History lesson.......

For those of you who slept through World History 101 here is a condensed version:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were:
1. The invention of beer, and
2.The invention of the wheel.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer, and the beer to the man.

These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, the evolution of the Hollywood actor, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide all the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass. Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.



Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big- game hunters, rodeo cowboys, firemen, lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.

It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

A conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers, and to more liberals...just to piss them off.
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Old 11-20-2008, 05:00 PM   #2
Low and slow
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haha, ive seen that one before
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Old 11-20-2008, 05:02 PM   #3
I miss Lucy. :-(
HerNameIsLucy is one of the sharper tools in the shedHerNameIsLucy is one of the sharper tools in the shedHerNameIsLucy is one of the sharper tools in the shedHerNameIsLucy is one of the sharper tools in the shedHerNameIsLucy is one of the sharper tools in the shedHerNameIsLucy is one of the sharper tools in the shedHerNameIsLucy is one of the sharper tools in the shedHerNameIsLucy is one of the sharper tools in the shedHerNameIsLucy is one of the sharper tools in the shedHerNameIsLucy is one of the sharper tools in the shedHerNameIsLucy is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Send a message via AIM to HerNameIsLucy Send a message via Yahoo to HerNameIsLucy
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Old 11-20-2008, 05:36 PM   #5
come on fhqwhgads
pittim is one of the sharper tools in the shedpittim is one of the sharper tools in the shedpittim is one of the sharper tools in the shedpittim is one of the sharper tools in the shedpittim is one of the sharper tools in the shedpittim is one of the sharper tools in the shedpittim is one of the sharper tools in the shedpittim is one of the sharper tools in the shedpittim is one of the sharper tools in the shedpittim is one of the sharper tools in the shedpittim is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Yes.


+Rep
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Old 11-20-2008, 05:55 PM   #6
Im so hungry i can ride a horse...
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ha i love it
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Old 11-20-2008, 08:25 PM   #8
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thats great
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Old 11-20-2008, 09:46 PM   #10
TEXMEX TACO
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LonghornTaco View Post
Awesome lesson! Now, let's get that version taught in schools...
Well maybe after these next 4 years are up, we'll have a chance to.
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Old 11-21-2008, 04:45 AM   #11
chris4x4 [OP] chris4x4 is offline
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
chris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Killer Red Taco View Post
Damn, thank you professor chris!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by phantom View Post
as usual
chris4x4 post accurate correct info about more than tacoma's ;-D
Cant take credit for it. I got it in an E-mail. Thanks, though.
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Old 11-21-2008, 06:37 AM   #12
Senior Member
spaghettiedy has much to be proud ofspaghettiedy has much to be proud ofspaghettiedy has much to be proud ofspaghettiedy has much to be proud ofspaghettiedy has much to be proud ofspaghettiedy has much to be proud ofspaghettiedy has much to be proud ofspaghettiedy has much to be proud ofspaghettiedy has much to be proud ofspaghettiedy has much to be proud of
 
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Yep, def sums it up...
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