nd's Closet - The Guessing Game

Yes, it took longer to get this thread rolling than I thought it should but 07Tacoark lit it on fire.

I especially liked number 21: locks of hair from all the girls he's never gotten with but got them drunk enough to cut pieces of hair from to smell from time to time.

 

laugh, but u would be surprised as to how many guys are actually like that

and u know how i just love to set things on fire

 

im sure this collection is also in the closet...

 

damn!!!! guess he thinks those bring him luck!!!

 

OK im gonna take a quick guess, ill add more if i think of more stuff

- old pair of basketball shoes

- underwear with skid marks, which he uses when he forgets to do laundry

- an old ballerina suit, he left ballet when he realized his drinking would never allow him to be thin enough for the male ballet dancers to catch him in the air, he cried for months in his closet for this reason and the closet is full of Kleenex because of this

- Fleshlight, used, never washed.... sorry...
- lots of beer cans
- an old camouflage jacket, with the inside ripped off, and a special pocket for his weed
- his dead mascot, which he thought got away, but actually was caught in its closet with his underwear and the beer bottles...
- an old, but never used baldor algebra book
- his current girlfriend, tied up, police already is searching for her, he keeps saying they are back together.... yea, but in the wrong way...

 

A Bun and Thigh Master, you know to maintain his girly physique.

 

R.Kelly and Tom Cruise..

 

A spare key to a a VW Scirocco

 

He's also Sword Fighting Queen ? Now that explains all those trophies.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sword+fighting

 

• a box of His and Hers KY jelly missing the "Hers" bottle after arguing with the pimpled clerk a Walgreens to let him buy just the one
• 2 sizes too small spandex shorts to give him that "hold me tightly" feeling tighty whities just can't match
• numerous cylindrical objects with suspicious brown and red streaks on them
• a peculiar ben gay/vaseline/sweat odor overpowering whoever opens the door

 

A bag of Gerbil food for his "friends".

 

...nd can afford a closet and movers?

 

It started with your idea of the tube socks, so thank you! Then I got on an 80s/70s roll...LOL! You really did get this thread moving with your amazing list!

 

Wow ! You guys are brutal, his closet has quickly turned into a whipping post, accompanied with leather wristcuffs and a riding crop.

 

Yeah, I feel mildly bad, but I think nd's a pretty good sport for putting up with us....

 

a half finished sign saying "I am NOT the floor demo model!"

 

One box marked marked "Transitional Phase" containing:

1 pair of "pleather" chaps, slightly sticky

1 Box of Manic Panic purple hair dye

1 spiked dog collar

1 pair of tall boots complete with 42 buckles, each

One "pleather" motorcycle jacket with duct-tape covered sleaves

1 dog-eared paper back entitled, "Goth for Dummys"

 

A meticulously cared for autographed copy of Martha Stewarts book "Living"

 

16 1/2 hours of nd reenacting his favorite Golden Girls scenes

1 6" clear heel that he managed to wrestle away from the winner of the Miss Transitional Gender pageant

One taupe silk bathrobe, with matching boa made from turkey feathers

One full size cardboard cut out of David Hasselhoff, with conspicuous hole in the groin area

 

One My Little Pony that is stained in the crotch.

A "best friend" he built out of Legos.

Every edition of Boys Highlights magazine.

A autographed poster of John Schneider.

Muiltiple copies of every Backstreets Boys, N'Sync and 98 Degrees CDs.

Purple nail polish.

A pair of leather motorcycle pants with the ass cut out.

A naked Six Million Dollar Man doll. Along with a naked Oscar Goldman one.

A Winnie the Pooh Halloween costume.

A picture of mjp2's truck.

A WWE playset and two wrestling dudes in pink attire.