Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the web
Not a poster was posting, the forum was dead;
The keyboards were thrown, in the closet in fear
that the A TRAC wars, soon would come near.
The members were with the in laws, whom they all dread,
While visions of truck-mods, still danced in their heads;
All of the bros with their beers, and a flat billed cap,
Would TW spend a night, without bitching about BRAAAP
When from outside, there was a strange noise
My truck got hit with a snowball, from one of the neighborhood boys
Oh shit that kids dead, so I chased him down and called his dad and mum
They didnít even care, screw it im done.
Most of the west is devoid of snow,
And I start to remember, why Christmas time blows.
For the entire week the only package you're waiting to see,
Is the mystery one, from your TW giftee.
From a disgruntled UPS driver, full of donít give a fuck
He hucked your deliveries right out of his truck.
Slower than snails, these coursers they came,
One brown and one blue, asking to sign your name.
"Now, OZ! now, Heretic! now, 2x4 and Kona!
On, neontrail! on MJP! on, Tamale and AFTundra!
To the top of the home page! Lets all internet brawl !
Now troll away! troll away! troll away all!"
As normal 2 wheels drives before that long travel was,
When they meet in so cal, they mob through the dez.
So up to ryans house they all went,
To turn his lowered ass into a lifted gent.
And then, a clicking, I heard in my head,
a million lift/tire questions, being posted every other thread.
As I digressed I said in my head, use Google you fools
then the thread exploded, and the mods came in with the ban hammer tool.
But on the holiday the mods put the ban hammer away,
so they could spread Christmas joy, on that Christmas day.
A bundle of goodies he had in his sack,
oh hot dam, the UPS guy is back!
His eyes -- how they were glazed! his dimples how they scowled!
You hollered merry Christmas and he just growled.
His droll little mouth was drawn down like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a cig he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he hopped out of the truck like a bowl of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a delivery man elf,
And I was glad when I saw him, in spite of myself.
I came to TW, just looking for tips on some maintenance things I wanted to achieve
And now im writing a TW poem, on this Christmas eve!?
After the holidays we will speak not a word, and go straight to our work,
Installing the new mods on our sexy Toyota turk.
And so we sit here, with our hands on the keyboard,
Browsing that truck forum, waiting till tomorrow to see what gifts we scored.
As we all celebrate Christmas this year,
lets try not to forget to spread some Christmas cheer.
After this terrible thing I have just created tonight, all I have to say is...
"Happy TW Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."