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Would you be a stay at home Dad?

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Old 12-29-2011, 08:41 AM   #41
DEEVON911 [OP] DEEVON911 is offline
Ain't nobody got time for dat!
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Originally Posted by MadMtnMikey View Post
Hahaha, I hear ya about the old guys, plenty of those where I work.

I'll definitely reinforce what others have said about continuing education. I'm not going to preach, you're the same age as me, so you know full well. I was lucky when I exited the military and landed myself into a field that pays well with no degree. But I'll remind you, I have nothing to fall back on if defense cuts take my job away (doubtful to happen but possible). I myself have been struggling to do online courses and hack away at getting an engineering degree.

In my opinion this should be your second highest priority next to caring for the kids.
I agree.

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Originally Posted by 2011supercoma View Post
im very fortunate with my work schedule. i work as a capt on the mississippi river, so im on the boat for a week and home for a week. the weeks im home i have custody of my 2 yr old girl. so i know how that time together is very important and is fun.

recently tho i had to put her in daycare so i can work pt on my weeks off, but im also lucky because its my aunts daycare, so its family. she also worked for the elementary school for 20 yrs so she knows how to take care of my daughter and its sweet to come home and shes learned how to sing twinkle twinkle lil star. ) plus my lil girl is getting used to being around other kids so when she strarts school it wont be a big shock to her, and she plays better with other kids now thatshes been goint there. my pt job is only a morning gig, so by 1 i have my baby with me again and then were off to the playground or the mall.
Glad you can work something out man, thats nice you get that time with your daughter! And lucky that you have a family member to trust to watch her.
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Old 12-29-2011, 08:45 AM   #42
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Originally Posted by DEEVON911 View Post
Come up with a better argumnet than don't be lazy. I'm hardly lazy.
Apparently you missed this part "God forbid your wifes dies, do you have a career? How easy will it be able for you to find a good job again to support your family when the last job you held was 5+ years ago?"


Sorry to sound harsh but if you don't think you ever need to work again then this is what everyone will see you as



But if one day you intend to go back to work one day then...

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Old 12-29-2011, 08:50 AM   #43
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Ain't nobody got time for dat!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeremy_283 View Post
Apparently you missed this part "God forbid your wifes dies, do you have a career? How easy will it be able for you to find a good job again to support your family when the last job you held was 5+ years ago?"


Sorry to sound harsh but if you don't think you ever need to work again then this is what everyone will see you as



But if one day you intend to go back to work one day then...

Well the same could be said for a wife that stays home. And I never said that I would never go back to work. Once in school, hell even if its something part time, I would do something. And like others have said I can take this time to do some schooling and better my education for a job I will like...
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Old 12-29-2011, 08:52 AM   #44
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If you can do it I say go for it. Day care is very expensive. We pay 120 a week for our 19 month old boy. We did have it easy for the first few months though, my wife got 6 weeks maternity leave, then my grandma was able to watch him for a month untill school started back, then my wife's mom was able to watch him until he was about a year old. It was great having him at home and not getting sick. Once we got him in a day care facility he started getting ear infections really bad. Took him out of there and now he is at an in home day care and he/we absolutely love it. He is able to play and learn from other kids and since my wife gets off at 1 she is able to go to the gym, clean house, or run errands knowing that our kid is well taken care of.
Stay at home parents and day care both have their ups and downs you just have to see what works best for you. Good luck and congrats on the new one on the way!



Sorry for the novel. Haha
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Old 12-29-2011, 08:58 AM   #45
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeremy_283 View Post
YOU NEED TO WORK

I suppose it's reasonable financially for you to be the stay at home parent but after a certain amount of time you definently need to get back out and work. God forbid your wifes dies, do you have a career? How easy will it be able for you to find a good job again to support your family when the last job you held was 5+ years ago?

Don't be lazy.
Looking at your age, I can see why it would be easy for you to say that. No offense meant. People in their mid 20's and down are born into what I call the "new america" era, even people in my age bracket, and part of the reason I think kids are so much more jacked up these days. Families held together much stronger when there was a stay at home parent, spending more quality time with the kids teaching values and keeping things in order around the house. I agree that with the economy and cost of living both parents NEED to work in most cases, but that change since the 50s and 60s has come with a high cost in my opinion. The lack of respect, motivation, and sheer lazyness of the younger generations I believe is mostly because of this.

Your example of something happening to his wife is a little extreme, anything has risks. If you're a parent and can afford to stay at home to raise your kids, do it !!!
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Old 12-29-2011, 08:59 AM   #46
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With the economy the way it is and everyone having money issues anymore I'd look to do what's best for your child, family, and finances. I would kind of have the deep feeling of shame that my wife is working and I am not but ideally it is the smart thing to do if you two agree on it. As soon as the kids are preschool age though I'd get my butt back to work. So you are not wrong for having the thought of staying home with the kids. Maybe you could potentially also have the ability to further excel your education through online courses or night classes in college so you have better opportunities when you enter back into the workforce.
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:01 AM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MQQSE View Post
Do it!

Those five years before they start school (primary) are more formative than a lot of folks realize. It's important to raise your kids ... having someone else (daycare) spend more time with them than their parents doesn't cut it!

I find it sad that the financial pressures in our culture push young parents to feel they both have to work.

Sorry if I offend anyone, but that's my opinion.
My children both go to daycare both my wife and I are Mil to Mil so there isn't much choice in the matter. Well sir, you make it sound like putting my kids in daycare makes me out to be a bad parent. Would a bad parent work on 20 years of a military service so (his and her) children could both go to collage with out wondering how they are going to pay for it? My daughter starting walking at 9.5 months she can speak full sentences at 19 months she is no longer uses diapers, she is not scared of every person that is not her mother or me. I can go on an on as to how glade I am that she attends day care. We use the CDC, it is fed. run and is inspected on a surprise monthly basis. She loves her care givers and they love her, it's like an extended family.
I attended daycare when I was younger, both my mother and father worked, I turned out great and I also learned about work and sacrifice from them. A lot of people that stay home with there kids also have the option to take them to a relative so mom and dad can "have a night out" my wife and I don't have that option so once my daughters care giver takes the place of grandma when we need to do something that where kids can't be. My wife and I work hard to provide for our family and I take extreme offence to the comment above!!

To answer your question OP I see nothing wrong with a stay at home dad however I think it is important to expose children to other children on a regular basis other then taking them to the park for an hour every day, I believe it helps with social skills and confidence. My .02
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:02 AM   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MadMtnMikey View Post
Looking at your age, I can see why it would be easy for you to say that. No offense meant. People in their mid 20's and down are born into what I call the "new america" era, even people in my age bracket, and part of the reason I think kids are so much more jacked up these days. Families held together much stronger when there was a stay at home parent, spending more quality time with the kids teaching values and keeping things in order around the house. I agree that with the economy and cost of living both parents NEED to work in most cases, but that change since the 50s and 60s has come with a high cost in my opinion. The lack of respect, motivation, and sheer lazyness of the younger generations I believe is mostly because of this.

Your example of something happening to his wife is a little extreme, anything has risks. If you're a parent and can afford to stay at home to raise your kids, do it !!!
If your kids are in school you can work during the day.
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:05 AM   #49
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Being the sole provider for my family and having a very flexible schedule I am able to spend a good amount of time earlier in the day at home ( phone at the hip of course ) and to say a stay at home is lazy is the most ridiculous sh*t I ever heard. If your baby ( ours is 9 months ) likes to lay there and sleep all day than thats good for you but if your kid is like ours and is constantly on the go, constantly always going for the things that are baby proofed and has endless energy AND on top of that still cant sleep more than 2hrs in a row before half waking than you should really keep your opinion to yourself. I have friends that have their kids in $$$$ daycares. One costs $1200 a month. You know what you get for that ? a kid that is constantly sick and that's head is slightly misshappen from being stuck in a crib for 6 hours a day. You guys do realize in most daycares there is like 3-4 babies to 1 adult ? Thats enough time to feed and change a diaper and than go to the next. 5 years of making sacrifices to raise your kids yourself will return you 100x more in the future than 5 years of salary. And parents wonder nowadays why their kids have no attachment to them ? What goes around comes around, what you put in is what you get back. I am not saying all daycares are bad but there is a very minor percentage that can give more to a child than its parent ( assuming the parent is of normal worth in the position ).
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:07 AM   #50
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If my wife ever make enough to support our life style I'd quite in a second to be a stay at home dad.
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:08 AM   #51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Razorecko View Post
Being the sole provider for my family and having a very flexible schedule I am able to spend a good amount of time earlier in the day at home ( phone at the hip of course ) and to say a stay at home is lazy is the most ridiculous sh*t I ever heard. If your baby ( ours is 9 months ) likes to lay there and sleep all day than thats good for you but if your kid is like ours and is constantly on the go, constantly always going for the things that are baby proofed and has endless energy AND ontop of that still cant sleep more than 2hrs in a row before half waking than you should really keep your opinion to yourself. I have friends that have their kids in $$$$ daycares. One costs $1200 a month. You know what you get for that ? a kid that is constantly sick and that's head is slightly misshappen from being stuck in a crib for 6 hours a day. You guys do realize in most daycares there is like 3-4 babies to 1 adult ? Thats enough time to feed and change a diaper and than go to the next. 5 years of making sacrifices to raise your kids yourself will return you 100x more in the future than 5 years of salary. And parents wonder nowadays why their kids have no attachment to them ? What goes around comes around, what you put in is what you get back.
It's lazy if they don't go back to work once the kids enter preschool.
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:09 AM   #52
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Go for it - just be aware that its a lot more work than you expect. I love looking after our 5 month old boy on the two days a week I'm at home when the wife is at work but he's an active little bugger and there are days when you look up at at the clock, its 4pm in the afternoon and you realize that you haven't managed to take a shower yet.

If your wife is working and you're not you'll also be expected to do all the housework, shopping, cooking, laundry, etc, etc.

Good luck with it - one thing's for certain you'll never regret it when you look back in 18 years.
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:10 AM   #53
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeremy_283 View Post
If your kids are in school you can work during the day.
True, however, being a stay at home parent is a job in and of itself just as well. The pay is not monetary, but it is substantial. A parent that stays at home and actually gets the things done that are needed is a very valuable and vital asset to any home.

When my wife gets home after an 8+ hour day of dealing with patients and doctors, and I get home after working 8 hours and driving 3 hours round trip, guess which one of us feels like doing laundry, cooking dinner and cleaning up around the house, plus feeding the baby, changing the baby's diaper, giving the baby a bath, then watching over him until he goes to sleep ?

If you're not a parent you wouldn't understand nor see the value in it.
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:12 AM   #55
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I got a crash course in it this year. While my wife was going through cancer treatment, I have a newly found appreciation for what she does. I wouldn't want to do it by choice but I'd suck it up and do it again if needed. Good luck.
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:13 AM   #56
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After a kid enters pre-school the stay at home should get a part-time job, or continue their education ONTOP of household duties. Once the kid enters school I dont need my wife cooking up mac n' cheese, throwing a load in the laundry, and watching 3 hours of mtv.
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:15 AM   #57
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rollin904 View Post
I don't have any ambition to be a dad, but hell yea I'd do it.
x2.


No shame in that. If I had kids I'd want either myself or my wife to be with them 24/7, at least until they grew up. I wouldn't want other people raising my kids.
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:16 AM   #58
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I have a dog
well there ya go... keep it fed and hydrated and it'll love you forever and not end up a crackhead or a murderer on death row or shot and killed by the time it's 16.
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:18 AM   #59
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Thanks for convincing me never to have kids guys...


JK =D. My mind was already made up on that one.
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:18 AM   #60
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Ain't nobody got time for dat!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeremy_283 View Post
With the economy the way it is and everyone having money issues anymore I'd look to do what's best for your child, family, and finances. I would kind of have the deep feeling of shame that my wife is working and I am not but ideally it is the smart thing to do if you two agree on it. As soon as the kids are preschool age though I'd get my butt back to work. So you are not wrong for having the thought of staying home with the kids. Maybe you could potentially also have the ability to further excel your education through online courses or night classes in college so you have better opportunities when you enter back into the workforce.
I understand what your saying, but is that because you think its the man that should be providing? And I also understand the argumnet of what if, but shit, everything in life is a what if when you think about it.

My mom stayed at home with me and my sister, and my dad was a Firefighter. So if you want to talk about risk, that is a risk. Also this is what life insurrance is also for. The what if.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SPENCAF View Post
My children both go to daycare both my wife and I are Mil to Mil so there isn't much choice in the matter. Well sir, you make it sound like putting my kids in daycare makes me out to be a bad parent. Would a bad parent work on 20 years of a military service so (his and her) children could both go to collage with out wondering how they are going to pay for it? My daughter starting walking at 9.5 months she can speak full sentences at 19 months she is no longer uses diapers, she is not scared of every person that is not her mother or me. I can go on an on as to how glade I am that she attends day care. We use the CDC, it is fed. run and is inspected on a surprise monthly basis. She loves her care givers and they love her, it's like an extended family.
I attended daycare when I was younger, both my mother and father worked, I turned out great and I also learned about work and sacrifice from them. A lot of people that stay home with there kids also have the option to take them to a relative so mom and dad can "have a night out" my wife and I don't have that option so once my daughters care giver takes the place of grandma when we need to do something that where kids can't be. My wife and I work hard to provide for our family and I take extreme offence to the comment above!!

To answer your question OP I see nothing wrong with a stay at home dad however I think it is important to expose children to other children on a regular basis other then taking them to the park for an hour every day, I believe it helps with social skills and confidence. My .02
I 100% agree with this, Social skills are very important to me.
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