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Old 08-28-2013, 09:34 AM   #381
Hillbilly
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Originally Posted by XIGUNHAWKIX View Post
LMAOoooooooo

Sittin' on da toilet


Glad I'm not the only one who has seen that!
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Old 08-28-2013, 09:36 AM   #382
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Old 08-28-2013, 12:33 PM   #383
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Sloth, thank you for sharing that story LOL

I am now in a tough position now as I burst out laughing in the middle of the office and everyone wants to know I am laughing at...shit haha
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Old 08-28-2013, 03:22 PM   #384
Its Wicked Flow BITCHES!!
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Originally Posted by B.Turner View Post
Oh well.... Now that I'm here I might as well tell you my story....

My wife and I both got food poisoning at the same time when we lived in our old house. Our old house only had one bathroom. HUGE fucking problem!!! Luckily I had installed a bathroom in my shop but it was all the way across the property that was 3 acres. So... I left my wife to do her thing and went to the shop to do mine. I got to the shop and decided that I was going to throw up and there was no way of stopping it. Unfortunately there was no way of stopping it from coming out the other end either. Had I known that was about to happen I would have made prior arrangements but it took me by surprise. I was finally able to walk back across the yard and got back in my house only to find my wife laying in the fetal position on the bathroom floor crying. I asked her "what's wrong".... She looked up at me and said... "I just shit myself while I was throwing up!!" I looked back at her and said... "It's okay honey... I did too".

True love!
Damn dude how can you waddle 3 acres with out blowing out your ass? Unless you drove there lmao!!
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Old 08-28-2013, 03:38 PM   #385
"Not you, fat jesus"
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Yeap, I did last week..

On the way home from a good morning's PT. In summer PTs, still sweaty from PT and almost home when I felt the 'ol Urge to Purge... I "gambled and lost".. I have since thrown away those shorts away...
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Old 08-28-2013, 03:56 PM   #386
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Haha shit I was walking home from a friends house on a snow day when I was 10 and I shit my self a couple minutes and ran all the way home ahah.
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Old 08-28-2013, 06:13 PM   #387
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Originally Posted by KenpachiZaraki View Post
Damn dude how can you waddle 3 acres with out blowing out your ass? Unless you drove there lmao!!
When I walked over my stomach was just rolling at the time. But I knew what was going to happen. What I didn't expect was to shit myself while I was puking though. That was something a little extra thrown in from the food gods that were taking their wrath out on me at the time. I literally thought (and wanted) I was going to die I was puking so hard. My wife and I had been married less than a year so it was a bonding experience.
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Old 08-28-2013, 06:32 PM   #388
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i don't know why but this thread makes me so happy.
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Old 08-28-2013, 06:52 PM   #389
First I derp.. then I herp
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have you ever been drunk and shit/ puked at the same time? Not really a shart story... but I was at an all inclusive resort in Dominican Republic.... got into a white boy drinking battle with a bunch of Canadians (worst idea of my life).... anyways, we drank for close to 5 hours, I kind of crawled back to the room, passed out for a bit then was woken up with the ceiling spinning around a million miles an hour. went to the bathroom, hugged the toilet and puked.

Well... midpuke, I felt that huge gurgle in my intestines with the immediate urge to shit so I tried to stop puking, sat on the toilet... then I couldn't shit but felt like I was about to blow chow again.... So i grabbed the little trash can in front of me and little did I know it had a scented bag in it. that got the gag reflex on full blast so I projectile vomited and at that exact same time, my sphincter turned in to a rocket.

By far, the most helpless feeling ever.


Oh, and dont sneeze when you have the runs either... Learned the hard way on that one.
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Old 08-28-2013, 06:58 PM   #390
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mntbiker2008 View Post
have you ever been drunk and shit/ puked at the same time? Not really a shart story... but I was at an all inclusive resort in Dominican Republic.... got into a white boy drinking battle with a bunch of Canadians (worst idea of my life).... anyways, we drank for close to 5 hours, I kind of crawled back to the room, passed out for a bit then was woken up with the ceiling spinning around a million miles an hour. went to the bathroom, hugged the toilet and puked.

Well... midpuke, I felt that huge gurgle in my intestines with the immediate urge to shit so I tried to stop puking, sat on the toilet... then I couldn't shit but felt like I was about to blow chow again.... So i grabbed the little trash can in front of me and little did I know it had a scented bag in it. that got the gag reflex on full blast so I projectile vomited and at that exact same time, my sphincter turned in to a rocket.

By far, the most helpless feeling ever.


Oh, and dont sneeze when you have the runs either... Learned the hard way on that one.
That's probably one of the best life lessons I've ever heard!
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Old 08-28-2013, 07:01 PM   #391
BRUINS 4 LIFE
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mntbiker2008 View Post
have you ever been drunk and shit/ puked at the same time? Not really a shart story... but I was at an all inclusive resort in Dominican Republic.... got into a white boy drinking battle with a bunch of Canadians (worst idea of my life).... anyways, we drank for close to 5 hours, I kind of crawled back to the room, passed out for a bit then was woken up with the ceiling spinning around a million miles an hour. went to the bathroom, hugged the toilet and puked.

Well... midpuke, I felt that huge gurgle in my intestines with the immediate urge to shit so I tried to stop puking, sat on the toilet... then I couldn't shit but felt like I was about to blow chow again.... So i grabbed the little trash can in front of me and little did I know it had a scented bag in it. that got the gag reflex on full blast so I projectile vomited and at that exact same time, my sphincter turned in to a rocket.

By far, the most helpless feeling ever.


Oh, and dont sneeze when you have the runs either... Learned the hard way on that one.
Great life lesson. Never compete with Canadians when drinking alcohol haha. But holy shit, your sphincter must of been sore as hell!
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Old 08-28-2013, 07:22 PM   #392
Its Wicked Flow BITCHES!!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by B.Turner View Post
When I walked over my stomach was just rolling at the time. But I knew what was going to happen. What I didn't expect was to shit myself while I was puking though. That was something a little extra thrown in from the food gods that were taking their wrath out on me at the time. I literally thought (and wanted) I was going to die I was puking so hard. My wife and I had been married less than a year so it was a bonding experience.
Clogged the toilet, overflowed. 5am in the morning. Wife cleaned it up. Yep she loves me lmao!
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Old 08-28-2013, 07:31 PM   #393
First I derp.. then I herp
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Originally Posted by drunktaco View Post
That's probably one of the best life lessons I've ever heard!
Quote:
Originally Posted by drade View Post
Great life lesson. Never compete with Canadians when drinking alcohol haha. But holy shit, your sphincter must of been sore as hell!
Drinking with Canadians will never end well. And yes... my sphincter, lets just say it didn't like me.... it also didn't help that I had spicy food for lunch prior to destroying my liver
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Old 08-28-2013, 08:49 PM   #394
City Slickin' Redneck, I wear a suit with a mullet
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i don't know why but this thread makes me so happy.
LOL Agreed.
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Old 08-29-2013, 12:32 AM   #395
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Anyone else hoping that nobody they know stumbles across this thread haha.
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Old 08-29-2013, 04:17 AM   #397
braaap
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Anyone else hoping that nobody they know stumbles across this thread haha.
I'm very open with my poo in the pants stories. Everyone has pooed their pants at some point, anyone who says otherwise is a liar.
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Old 08-29-2013, 04:35 AM   #398
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^^^^^x2^^^^^

many sharting stories, most involved heavy drinking in the previous 24 hours...sometimes it is just a little private affair, the most recent one driving to get a tool at Harbor Freight up in Connecticut, by the time the shart happened I was 45 miles away from where I was staying...

lets just say I emptied the glovebox of all emergency napkins from fast food stops for final cleanup after using my destroyed undies to clean up the bulk of the mess, threw my underwear away, and proceeded into the store....all the cleanup was in the parking lot, way off in a less populated corner, did the best I could under the circumstances...then I went commando into store, I am sure still smelling pretty ripe, got the tool, then laughed my way back home, windows down of course...

anyone who hasn't sharted is a liar, part of life....

This thread is funny as hell...
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Old 08-29-2013, 07:11 AM   #400
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Originally Posted by drade View Post
Glad other people on here enjoyed sittin on tha toilet.!
Don't enjoy it, but certainly do spend a quarter of my life sitting on it stretching out my A hole. No wonder I and so many others can't contain the pressure and have to drop what they're doing and freakishly find a bathroom to release.

I always think its funny when nothing comes out and it’s just a high pressure ass blow that visually changes the diameter of your stomach.

Hmmm, what no women on this thread
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