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Need help dealing with my neighbor....

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Old 06-12-2012, 06:07 PM   #1
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Need help dealing with my neighbor....

ok, i need some advice here. my wife and I have lived in our house for 4 years and were friendly with the neighbors. Well, they moved away and a new family moved in. The husband is my age and was really nice and friendly to my wife and I for the first few months. Well, i didnt know but my neighbor was an electrician and he happened to show up where I work (distribution center) one day because he needed some parts. I was surprised to see him and he was surprised to see me. We spoke, shook hands, and I set him up an account since we are a wholesaler and sell to licensed dealers and electricians. i introduced him to my manager (nicest guy in the world) and told my manager that this guy was my neighbor and he was an electrician and i was setting him up so he can buy from us. So my boss smiles, pats me on the shoulder and says "hook a brotha up". I am white, my boss is white, and my neighbor is black. A few days later my neighbor and I spoke and he told me he was "offended" by that comment my manager made. He took it as a "racist" comment. I assured him my boss is not racist and is a decent man (which he is). So i thought the issue was over. But since this incident, my neighbor has spoken less and less to me. He quit waving at me when he passes by. I continued to say hello first and he would say hello back, but as if it was a chore for him to do it. He never offered a friendly hello first, i had to always do it first. Finally i just got tired of speaking first and when i am outside he completely ignores me. Am i missing something here? I am very genuine and try to do the right thing but this has me bothered. I am not racist. Am i just guilty by association? I told my boss and he thinks my neighbor is acting like a fool. i would appreciate some honest feedback guys.
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Old 06-12-2012, 06:09 PM   #2
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bake him a cake and invite him over for a couple of beers
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Old 06-12-2012, 06:12 PM   #4
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i dont get it man, me and him used to chat outside all the time about guy stuff, and ever since this incident...its like i dont exist. But he will walk down 7 houses to talk to another mutual neighbor...i dont get it
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Old 06-12-2012, 06:12 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MonkeyProof View Post
bake him a cake and invite him over for a couple of beers
I agree - try to make things right and if he doesn't want to associate with you then move on
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Old 06-12-2012, 06:12 PM   #6
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what should i do? just forget it and mind my own business?
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Old 06-12-2012, 06:15 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MonkeyProof View Post
bake him a cake and invite him over for a couple of beers


yeah this is what you want to do, break the ice.
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Old 06-12-2012, 06:15 PM   #9
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i just hate being stuck in this situation. seems like everyone else around me likes us. i dont get it
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Old 06-12-2012, 06:16 PM   #10
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Wow... bad case of taking something out of context. Your neighbor's perception of reality is he is the victim of racisim, regardless of what you or your boss think. Actions speak louder than words, I would kill him with kindness every opportunity you get. Always wave, always say hello. Sorry that's all I got.
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Old 06-12-2012, 06:16 PM   #11
I'm not 4x4, and have an open diff. So i'm 4x1
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Tell him what your manager meant (hook your neighbor up), or write this guy off as a butt hurt black man.
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Old 06-12-2012, 06:16 PM   #12
Babytruck, babytruck...I've got a babytruck :)
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Seems to me he's got a chip on his shoulder. He took it as brothA rather than brothER (which, to me, is as if one is family). I use it as a term of endearment, words of brotherhood.

You and your boss did nothing wrong.

He is CHOOSING to be offended by something that was not to be offensive. That is in HIS mind, not presented with the thought of hurting him.

You've tried to explain it to him, you been friendly and accommodating. You are going out of your way to try to make amends. You've done your part and he's being stubborn. He wants it this way, so be it. When he comes into your place of business, treat him as any other customer. He does not want to be considered your brother, so in honour if his decision, don't give him the family benefits of your company. I mean... you wouldn't want to insult him, would you?
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Old 06-12-2012, 06:17 PM   #13
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even after he quit saying hello to me, i kept saying hello first. i kept on and on, he never made an attempt to say it first. so i just quit saying hello. if i dont say anything, nothing happens, he makes no attempt.
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Old 06-12-2012, 06:18 PM   #14
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lots of good advice from all of you
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Old 06-12-2012, 06:18 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TacoTitan11 View Post
what should i do? just forget it and mind my own business?
I would. He doesn't want to be an adult...keyword adult...and actually talk to you about it.

Just let him be.

"When people walk away from you let them go. Your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you and it doesn't mean they are bad people. It just means that their part in your story is over."

Go live your life man. You know what is true and your neighbor doesn't want the truth.
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Old 06-12-2012, 06:19 PM   #16
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maybe he's just jealous of your tacoma
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Old 06-12-2012, 06:19 PM   #17
First I derp.. then I herp
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sounds like hes being a bit of a bitch.... yep... i said it. if he holds something someone else said against you and doesn't want to come back to terms... leave him in the dust. his loss.
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Old 06-12-2012, 06:20 PM   #18
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after one conversation i had with him , i think i figured out he was like that. he was telling me about how he is "all business" when it comes to work. he was telling me about one of his customers owed him money (customer was white) and asked him to go play golf and his response was "i dont want to play golf, i want my damn money"
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Old 06-12-2012, 06:21 PM   #19
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move on dude, give him some space. next time you have a bbq have him over for some beers and burgers.
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Old 06-12-2012, 06:21 PM   #20
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and why would he ignore my wife too? he used to say hello to her all the time? what the hell did she do to him?
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