has anybody here gone through a divorce?

im just trying to "test the waters" on the subject. without me having to go into the details of how shitty my marriage is can anybody give me first hand experiances about the process?

 

Kids involved? Because that will certainly complicate matters and make for a completely different experience......and yes I have been thru one. First advice, never scrimp on coin for a lawyer and if possible find one that went to law school with the people that run the firm that the exe's lawyer works for and that the judge shared an office with while he was off the bench for a short time due to a tax matter. That was extreme luck of the draw and by far the best money I ever spent in court.

 

x2. It's a piece of cake (relatively) when kids aren't involved, but that depends on your and her income/job/education/debt/investment status and what state you live in.

I have to say though, there's no amount of money that would have kept me with my ex wife. I would have financed the space shuttle before having to stay with that bitch. The stress wasn't worth my health or my money. Fortunately, I walked away relatively inexpensive (child support and a few grand in debts that she refused to pay that I got stuck with) and can't imagine why I stayed in that shit marriage as long as I did.

3 more years of fairly cheap child support, and I'm FREEEEEEEEEE from giving that **** another dime when I actually have our son more than she does.

 

Depends on your situation, where you live, and if kids are involved. My divorce was painless, I have 50 / 50 custody, and the only support I pay is half the child care bill each month (if I am working night shift, I only get my son on weekends, and I pay the full child care bill).

My situation is rare, yes.

 

My parents just finalized their divorce a couple months back. I am one of two kids, however they made every effort possible to make the transition from one family to two as painless as possible for the both of us. I had a feeling it was coming long before they ever told either me or my younger brother, but now that they are split up I can see how much happier they both are. It was the best decision they ever made IMO

 

Been through one with no children myself... "Irreconcilable Differences" was the type I used and it really went fairly painlessly. If you could provide some more information we could probably help you better with this situation though...

 

we have a 2 year old, live in pa, she doesnt work, hasnt worked for about 3 years, no money for lawyers

 

I call my divorce papers: Emanicpation Proclamation. July 26th, 1991....one of the best days of my life. Got to quit one of my jobs and only had to give her a set amount of money vs. just handing it all over. Paid my support uninterruptedly for 15 yrs until done, discretionarily padded that enough to where it was worth her while to never go back to court or that would stop and stayed in generally same income bracket so there would be nothing to gain from going back to court.

Now the flipside to all this is.........nuclear charcoal up ass attitude from not being able to come home from work to the kids. Having to debunk the bullshit fantasy slander shit fed to them for 15 yrs when they were old enough to understand and see it on their own which basically took care of itself. I did have them whenever I was off work extra days. All in all it was worth dealing with and never buckling from the most fucked up thing in my life (x) because 2 of best things in my life balanced it all out (twin girls) . Another little thing that was and is a bonus........the kids were born on the birthday of an old girlfriend before the x came along that she has always been jealous of.

 

Speaking from experience, the first step is to get her to agree and understand it's time for a divorce. Next is to discuss custody rights. Always good to get you both on the same page, if possible. Discuss who gets what. Get all this done before seeking an attorney. A no-fault divorce is much easier and cheaper and better for the kid.

 

subd for future reference

 

No kids? no problem. Lawyer up and get to it. Best thing I ever did. A bad marriage is scary in that you don't realize how bad things are until you get away and see how a normal life is. Then you ask "How did I ever put up with this shit" and "Wow, life is pretty good". As bad as the process is, it gets better over time. My expensive divorce was worth every penny and then some

 

What state? it matters oops, I see PA. Good luck, I would use a lawyer if at all possible. Take a loan if you need to. Unless you and her get along and she IS sane. (very rare)

 

No kids here, and no fight over possessions, yet I still lawyered up to not have the headaches of paperwork. I filed adultery which allowed a much quicker process (as early as 3 months after initial separation in South Carolina).

Nothing about it was fun. I lost between 40-45 pounds and I only stand 5'8", but I survived. Good luck.

 

Did one long long ago. Was married for a year then got out. No kids, thankfully. Best part was, I wanted a way to get back at her, and found the ultimate thing. I kept running into her new guy at some car shows. I decided to be civil, then took the next step, and got to be friends with him. She...............really didn't like that. Now she is on to husband #3. (hey, I only have so much time.....)

 

I have just gotten through my first and only divorce. I was married for 17 years. We both are 40 and we have 2 sons 17 & 15 years old.

My advice is:

1.) Never discuss anything on a forum like this that you don't want to be used against you in court.

2.) Try your best for the divorce not to effect your kids.

3.) Believe maybe 25% of anything friends or family tell you about "your rights." Your rights vary from state to state and the laws are constantly be changed.

4.) Do a google search for a Family Right Association and join. This is website for the Alabama Family Right Association http://www.alfra.org/. If you can't find an association ask on their forums and they will help you.

5.) Try to discuss what you can beforehand with your spouse and try to come up with an agreement. An attorney around here gets over $300.00 a hour and they charge in 6 minute increments. So for an attorney to pick up and answer 1 question for 1 minute is $50.00! Crazy!!!

Btw, my ex-wife and I are getting along better now than we did for the last 5 years of marriage.


If you need any help with anything, PM me