What's your favorite joke?

Here's the situation, my 94 year old grandfather is joke master. Every time I see him he's got a joke to tell me and they are freaken hilarious. I tried to keep up with him but fk, I just can't remember all the jokes. So, tell me your best jokes so I can compete with the ol' guy and I will tell your joke to him...

 

how many pancakes can you fit on the roof of a three story house?

21. Because ice cream has no bones.









Why did sally fall off the swing?
She has no arms






Knock knock
who's there?
Not sally.

 

Bunch of em in here....

http://www.tacomaworld.com/forum/off-topic-discussion/798-joke-day.html

 

What building in Washington D.C has the most storys in it?

The library of congress...



Its a kid joke

 

Why is 6 afraid of 7?


Because 7 8 9

 

so a guy walks into a bar, goes to the bar and orders a beer. he starts looking around and notices a large pickle jar full of $10, $20, $50, and $100 dollar bills. so hes like "hey barkeep, whats up with this pickle jar?"

bartender looks at him and says "i cant tell you unless you put at least a $20 in there"

guy looks at him and says"wow thats too rich for my blood"

a few beers later the gut says F it and throws a $20 in there, because not knowing is just killing him

he says "ok, theres a new $20 in there, tell me whatsup"

bartender says "i will give you all the money in that pickle jar if you can accomplish 3 tasks"

guy says "ok, im up for a challenge"

bartender says "the first task is you have to chug this bottle of Patron, without stopping, the second challenge is theres an angry pitbull out back and you need to pull its tooth, and the third task is that there is an 88 year old woman upstairs who has never been sexually satisfied, i think you know what to do"

guy says "give me the bottle."

he starts chugging. tears rolling down his face, fighting the urge to puke. a few seconds later he slams the empty bottle down on the bar, already feeling the influences of the patron.

guy says, slurring his words "ok whats the second challenge?"

bartender says "theres a really mean pitbull out back who has a bad tooth. you need to go pull it"

the guy goes out back. for a minute or two all you hear is barking, yelping and growling. and then.... silence

about 5 minutes later the guy walks back inside and goes up to the bartender really slurring his words and says "wheres that old lady with the bad tooth?"

 

whats better than winning gold medal at the special olympics?











not being retarded.




#iamgoingtohell

 

yes you are lol