Funny Things Your Kid(s) Said

So I'm kicked back in the recliner with my 6yo son watching MNF and my 10yo daughter asks "who you going for dad?"
And before i could answer Eagles, my son pipes in "Mitt Romney" LOL

So of course I had my phone on TW and got to thinking hmmmm....great thread idea.
Lets hear your funny kid remarks everyone!

 

I dont have kids but my summer job is coordinating stuff with them... the hilarity is that they dont realize how funny they really are

 

My son (at the time he was 4) had an enlightened moment and he came running to me: "Mommy!! Mommy! I know what I want to be when I grow up!!

"Oh really? What do you want to be when you grow up? "

"I want to be a horseyman guy!! "

"Oh you mean a COWBOY?"

He gives me the dirtiest look...

"NoooOoOooOo Idon'twanttorideaCOWmommy..."

 

So true.. my daughter has no clue that her brutally honest or out of the blue remarks are the funniest things ever to me.

 

Son! You went pee pee in your big boy pants!?

"I went pee pee on Mater's head" (laughs)

He was wearing his cars underwear featuring Mater on the front. How was I not to laugh. No idea how he made that connection.

 

I just about shit myself when I heard from the nanny that my 6 year old daughter told her.....

"My daddy doesn't smoke cigarettes, he just smokes the plant"

 

My older son was 10 at the time he told his little brother (age 4):

10 yr old: "Do you know why mommy hates WalMart?"

4 year old: "She says because they are mean to the workers."

10 yr old: "The real reason why is because they got you there and they don't take returns."

It took a few minutes before the little one started to cry.

 

My daughter is only 4 months old, and to date hasn't mastered laughing. It's either an inhaled wheeze or just a bloodcurdling scream. She gets so excited and naturally, we all start laughing and she hears the noise and wants to participate so she just screams and screams with this big huge smile on her face. Absolutely priceless.

 

I've got a friend who's a preacher. He and his wife have two girls and live in a rural area. One of the few decent restaurants in the county is a steak / seafood place that's got a bar in it. So he takes his wife and girls out to eat one Saturday night and two guys get into a fight over in the bar area. The next morning in Sunday School, the youngest looks up at her teacher and says "There was a fight in the bar last night."

 

^^^^LOL, preacher taking kids to a bar. awesome

 

Two-year old Grandson of a friend: If you are my father make me a god.

I think this is from a Hercules cartoon.

 

When my youngest was 3, we passed by a pasture with horses on the way to his daycare every day. One day it was raining, and they horses were in the open barn. My son asked what a barn was. So I told him it was like a horse house. Later on that day, dear old dad had to explain why he was showing his son the "whore-house"................

 

^^^ Oh my!!

 

LOL! Classic

Sounds like the time my daughter (3yo at the time) asked us what an ass burger is?
My wife figured out she had overheard her watching a tv show on autism and Asberger Syndrome (sp?).

 

The boy has a ton of these things. He's 5 now. Just a week ago, the family was in the minivan (sorry, at least it's a Toyota) and we stop at a light. In the car next to us is a group of high school girls. they look over and smile at him. Then they take off. He says "Can we follow them?" lol, ummmm, no son, we can not.

 

OH that's hilarious!!

We are at the grocery store when there was a man behind us that had a tracheotomy. The mechanism in his throat was showing and my older son (who was about 5 at the time) was staring at it. I tugged on his hand to give him the hint not to stare. The man picked up on that, he put his hand held thingy (sorry, don't know the name of it) to his throat (which produced a mechanical monotone voice) and said with a smile "It's okay, a lot of kids are curious. How are you there, young man?"

My son's eyes popped wide open, his finger flew up pointing at the man and he screamed at the top of his lungs:

MOMMY MOMMY!! A REAL LIVE ROBOT!!!

 

Ned from South Park

 

My 18 month old is pretty verbal for his age, but he has this new thing to show you his muscles lol

if you ask, he grunts and tucks his arm in like hes flexing.

we were at the shoe store a few weeks back and these three older ladies walked in and my boy was standing in the isle, they said " aren't you cute?" he stared them down and flexed up and gave them a grunt.

I was rolling and all they could say was "oh my!!"

They are the best entertainment

Justin