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Re-Elect Zombie Andrew Jackson in 2016

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Old 03-21-2013, 06:06 PM   #1
jandrews [OP] jandrews is offline
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Re-Elect Zombie Andrew Jackson in 2016

This is not a political thread. It's more of a public service announcement about how badass Andrew Jackson was and that we need to dig his ass up and make him president again. He makes Chuck Norris look like a fucking amateur.

A few notes:

- Andrew Jackson was once in a duel. He gave his opponent free shot first. He got hit in the chest. He then proceeded, clutching his chest wound, to aim and fire, killing his opponent with a shot to the brain. He was later quoted, referring to this duel, as saying "If he had shot me in the brain, I should still have killed him." Bonus: The opponent had also insulted in his wife, and Jackson's first attempt to shoot misfired. He re-cocked the pistol and fired again.

Source: http://www.history.com/this-day-in-h...kinson-in-duel


- Andrew Jackson fully paid off the US National Debt. This is the only time this has ever happened.

Source: http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2011/...-it-didnt-last

- When running for President, Andrew Jackson was called a jackass by his opponents. He adopted it as a symbol of his campaign and it later became the symbol for his whole fucking political party.

Source: http://m.wisegeek.com/why-is-the-don...crat-party.htm

- An assassination attempt of Jackson failed when the would-be assassin had both of his weapons misfire. Andrew Jackson then proceeded to beat his ass with his cane.

Source: http://www.history.com/this-day-in-h...n?special=true

- He threw a kegger after his first inauguration.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_i...kson#Reception

- Jackson was in 13 duels. He was shot by so many bullets that couldn't be removed he was described as "rattling like a bag of marbles".

Source: http://mycampustalk.com/the-most-gan...s-of-all-time/

- On his death bed, Jackson was quoted as saying: "I have only two regrets; I didn't shoot Henry Clay, and I didn't hang John C. Calhoun."

Source: http://mycampustalk.com/the-most-gan...s-of-all-time/

- Andrew Jackson's pet parrot had to be kicked out of his funeral because it wouldn't stop swearing.

Source: http://www.badassoftheweek.com/jackson.html?parrot=cool

- One of his campaign slogans was "Protector and Defender of Beauty and Booty". No shit.

Source: http://www.ancientfaces.com/photo/ge...der-of/1100379

- In the war of 1812, as revenge for a British Army officer killing his brother, Jackson cut up the bodies of two British Generals and put them in barrels of rum, then shipped them back to England.

Source: http://www.examiner.com/article/what...-the-oil-spill


- Someone once shipped Andrew Jackson a 1400lb block of cheese. He held an open party at the White House and 10,000 people helped him eat it. The cheese-stink lingered for years afterward.

Source: http://mentalfloss.com/article/27228...g-block-cheese


Now you know. You're welcome.
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Old 03-21-2013, 06:12 PM   #3
Hillbilly
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+1 for this thread. Glad someone else paid attention in history class.
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Old 03-21-2013, 06:16 PM   #4
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He would be better than the past 4 have been
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Old 03-21-2013, 06:29 PM   #5
Kenny Fuckin Powers
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Lol I love the part about the parrot.
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Old 03-22-2013, 01:39 PM   #6
BELT FED 2OZ. PULL
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Sending the 2 Generals home, Dam for the days when we HAD ball's...
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Old 03-22-2013, 02:35 PM   #7
Feet in the water...
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Epic OP is EPIC!!
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Old 03-22-2013, 02:44 PM   #8
Pineapples on pizza Hawaiian does not it make.
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I was just reading about a few of these the other day

when me were real fucking MEN




but he was the one that fucked with the native americans...
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Old 03-22-2013, 02:49 PM   #9
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Yea. A true American Hero. I've been meaning to read his biography. Anyone know the title or author of it.
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Old 03-22-2013, 03:50 PM   #10
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Old 03-22-2013, 06:29 PM   #11
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lol
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Old 03-22-2013, 06:32 PM   #12
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ALSO, FAUX-HAWK

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Old 03-23-2013, 01:52 AM   #13
BELT FED 2OZ. PULL
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In 1812 when asked by President J.Madison if he wanted to stay in Va. of go to New Orleans . He only had 1 ? where can I kill the most Brits at ??? Got to love him!!!
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Old 03-23-2013, 01:58 AM   #14
Ain't nobody got time for dat!
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LOL, good thread. Although he would probably re-die after seeing what the world has become.
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Old 03-24-2013, 04:35 PM   #15
Is it June yet
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my vote

ol rough and ready


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Old 03-24-2013, 04:55 PM   #16
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Andrew Jackson would be unelectable in today's PC America.
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Old 03-25-2013, 12:22 AM   #18
BELT FED 2OZ. PULL
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry View Post
Andrew Jackson would be unelectable in today's PC America.
Yep,, If ol Stonewall was around today how do you think the muslim apology tour would go..I think he would start by extending the Mediterranean sea all the way to Viet Nam.
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