Mike "Wuzzy121". Rest in peace, brother

Go Back   Tacoma World Forums > Off-Topic > Off-Topic Discussion

Notices

I have become the grinch.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 04-01-2013, 01:16 PM   #1
Cybertronian Tacoma
TacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
TacomaPrime's Avatar
Name: Greg
Joined: May 2011, #56955
Location: Illinois
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,415
TacomaPrime's Tacoma Gallery
I have become the grinch.

So my sister, who basically excommunicated my wife and I from her family, because we didn't drive 4 hours for every single one of her kids birthdays, is in the hospital with either a pulmonary embolism, or a really bad lung infection. Not sure which yet.
My mother just called me to tell me this. The problem is I was just kind of like, "uh huh" "ok" It didn't really faze me. I kind of don't care too much.
I mean, my sister basically uses her kids as pawns against my wife and I, makes completely unrealistic demands of us, (she expects us to show up for every birthday, every year. Her kids birthdays are now in march, april, july and September. I can't afford to make that trip that many times a year). She sends back gifts we try to send my nephews, and doesn't even give them to them. I tried calling and making amends once, and she didn't answer the phone. Texted me the next day saying that that wasn't a good time to talk. And I haven't hear back from her since.

Would I be a complete asshole if I just don't give a shit?
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2013, 01:17 PM   #2
BigFoot aka Sasquatch
krap22 is one of the sharper tools in the shedkrap22 is one of the sharper tools in the shedkrap22 is one of the sharper tools in the shedkrap22 is one of the sharper tools in the shedkrap22 is one of the sharper tools in the shedkrap22 is one of the sharper tools in the shedkrap22 is one of the sharper tools in the shedkrap22 is one of the sharper tools in the shedkrap22 is one of the sharper tools in the shedkrap22 is one of the sharper tools in the shedkrap22 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
krap22's Avatar
Name: Adam
Joined: Mar 2011, #53389
Gender: Male
Posts: 19,369
krap22's Tacoma Gallery
Quote:
Originally Posted by TacomaPrime View Post
So my sister, who basically excommunicated my wife and I from her family, because we didn't drive 4 hours for every single one of her kids birthdays, is in the hospital with either a pulmonary embolism, or a really bad lung infection. Not sure which yet.
My mother just called me to tell me this. The problem is I was just kind of like, "uh huh" "ok" It didn't really faze me. I kind of don't care too much.
I mean, my sister basically uses her kids as pawns against my wife and I, makes completely unrealistic demands of us, (she expects us to show up for every birthday, every year. Her kids birthdays are now in march, april, july and September. I can't afford to make that trip that many times a year). She sends back gifts we try to send my nephews, and doesn't even give them to them. I tried calling and making amends once, and she didn't answer the phone. Texted me the next day saying that that wasn't a good time to talk. And I haven't hear back from her since.

Would I be a complete asshole if I just don't give a shit?

Nope, no need for that BULL.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2013, 01:18 PM   #3
AKA ::1
127.0.0.1 is one of the sharper tools in the shed127.0.0.1 is one of the sharper tools in the shed127.0.0.1 is one of the sharper tools in the shed127.0.0.1 is one of the sharper tools in the shed127.0.0.1 is one of the sharper tools in the shed127.0.0.1 is one of the sharper tools in the shed127.0.0.1 is one of the sharper tools in the shed127.0.0.1 is one of the sharper tools in the shed127.0.0.1 is one of the sharper tools in the shed127.0.0.1 is one of the sharper tools in the shed127.0.0.1 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
127.0.0.1's Avatar
Air Force: 12th TIS
Joined: Dec 2012, #93641
Location: /etc/hosts
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,053
127.0.0.1's Tacoma Gallery
nope. free yourself
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2013, 01:18 PM   #4
Purveyor of Fun
benbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shedbenbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shedbenbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shedbenbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shedbenbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shedbenbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shedbenbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shedbenbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shedbenbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shedbenbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shedbenbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
benbacher's Avatar
Name: ^
Joined: Jun 2011, #59032
Location: Anchorage, AK
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,111
benbacher's Tacoma Gallery
In short, yes. I went through something similar, and looking at the other side of it now, it was time wasted that I could have spent enjoying my family. This could be an opportunity for you to step back into good graces with her.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2013, 01:19 PM   #5
Senior Member
rob1 is one of the sharper tools in the shedrob1 is one of the sharper tools in the shedrob1 is one of the sharper tools in the shedrob1 is one of the sharper tools in the shedrob1 is one of the sharper tools in the shedrob1 is one of the sharper tools in the shedrob1 is one of the sharper tools in the shedrob1 is one of the sharper tools in the shedrob1 is one of the sharper tools in the shedrob1 is one of the sharper tools in the shedrob1 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
rob1's Avatar
Name: Robert
Joined: Jun 2009, #18799
Location: South Texas
Gender: Dude
Posts: 1,822
rob1's Tacoma Gallery
I know it don't matter, but just wondering..is she your only sister??
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2013, 01:20 PM   #6
Cybertronian Tacoma
TacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
TacomaPrime's Avatar
Name: Greg
Joined: May 2011, #56955
Location: Illinois
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,415
TacomaPrime's Tacoma Gallery
Quote:
Originally Posted by rob1 View Post
I know it don't matter, but just wondering..is she your only sister??
Yes.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2013, 01:21 PM   #7
Cybertronian Tacoma
TacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
TacomaPrime's Avatar
Name: Greg
Joined: May 2011, #56955
Location: Illinois
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,415
TacomaPrime's Tacoma Gallery
Quote:
Originally Posted by benbacher View Post
This could be an opportunity for you to step back into good graces with her.
I've gotten back into good graces with her before, only for her to place more demands on us, and everything go straight to hell again. Her "My way or the highway" attitude regarding attending her kids birthday parties EVERY year, just doesn't fly with me.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2013, 01:22 PM   #8
GFY
BigHeadTaco has much to be proud ofBigHeadTaco has much to be proud ofBigHeadTaco has much to be proud ofBigHeadTaco has much to be proud ofBigHeadTaco has much to be proud ofBigHeadTaco has much to be proud ofBigHeadTaco has much to be proud ofBigHeadTaco has much to be proud ofBigHeadTaco has much to be proud of
 
BigHeadTaco's Avatar
Name: Big Head
Joined: Jan 2013, #94237
Gender: Dude
Posts: 461
BigHeadTaco's Tacoma Gallery
Quote:
Originally Posted by benbacher View Post
In short, yes. I went through something similar, and looking at the other side of it now, it was time wasted that I could have spent enjoying my family. This could be an opportunity for you to step back into good graces with her.
I agree. And dont forget your nieces and nephews, it is not their fault that their mother is a B.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2013, 01:22 PM   #9
Banned
SoCaltaco65 is one of the sharper tools in the shedSoCaltaco65 is one of the sharper tools in the shedSoCaltaco65 is one of the sharper tools in the shedSoCaltaco65 is one of the sharper tools in the shedSoCaltaco65 is one of the sharper tools in the shedSoCaltaco65 is one of the sharper tools in the shedSoCaltaco65 is one of the sharper tools in the shedSoCaltaco65 is one of the sharper tools in the shedSoCaltaco65 is one of the sharper tools in the shedSoCaltaco65 is one of the sharper tools in the shedSoCaltaco65 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
Joined: May 2011, #56389
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,035
SoCaltaco65's Tacoma Gallery
Nope, not at all. You tried to do the best of your abilities to reach out to her and her children, if it wasn't good enough Tough. I'm sorry she is in the hospital, but in any relationship Family or love it takes 2.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2013, 01:24 PM   #10
Senior Member
Gelo760 is one of the sharper tools in the shedGelo760 is one of the sharper tools in the shedGelo760 is one of the sharper tools in the shedGelo760 is one of the sharper tools in the shedGelo760 is one of the sharper tools in the shedGelo760 is one of the sharper tools in the shedGelo760 is one of the sharper tools in the shedGelo760 is one of the sharper tools in the shedGelo760 is one of the sharper tools in the shedGelo760 is one of the sharper tools in the shedGelo760 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
Joined: Oct 2010, #44862
Location: Oceanside
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,485
Gelo760's Tacoma Gallery
Yes . Be the better person .
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2013, 01:26 PM   #11
What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? CHICKEN?
moto932 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmoto932 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmoto932 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmoto932 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmoto932 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmoto932 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmoto932 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmoto932 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmoto932 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmoto932 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmoto932 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
moto932's Avatar
Name: Eric
Joined: Apr 2009, #15770
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Age: 30
Gender: Guy
Posts: 3,324
moto932's Tacoma Gallery
life's short. figure out a compromise that works for both of you
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2013, 01:28 PM   #12
I need to go return some videotapes...
Seabass is one of the sharper tools in the shedSeabass is one of the sharper tools in the shedSeabass is one of the sharper tools in the shedSeabass is one of the sharper tools in the shedSeabass is one of the sharper tools in the shedSeabass is one of the sharper tools in the shedSeabass is one of the sharper tools in the shedSeabass is one of the sharper tools in the shedSeabass is one of the sharper tools in the shedSeabass is one of the sharper tools in the shedSeabass is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
Seabass's Avatar
Name: Adam
Joined: Apr 2010, #34455
Location: AZ
Gender: Guy
Posts: 4,466
Seabass's Tacoma Gallery
I'm in a similar situation with my own sister, and she lives 3 miles away from me. She's the prissy conservative church-goer who does everything by the book, and I'm the black sheep that takes risks and lives life (with no harm to others of course). She has basically blacklisted me in front of my two nephews who used to be great with me. Now if they see me at a "family" event, they won't come near me because I'm the sinner who doesn't go to church and live like they do.

The way I look at it is this... humans are designed to leave the nest when they turn into young adults. As a species, we aren't programmed to stick around our families in a world so full of resources and responsibilities. They live their lives, I live mine. Case closed and I'm the happy one of the family.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2013, 01:31 PM   #13
Get off your horse and drink your milk.
teamamerica has a brilliant futureteamamerica has a brilliant futureteamamerica has a brilliant futureteamamerica has a brilliant futureteamamerica has a brilliant futureteamamerica has a brilliant futureteamamerica has a brilliant futureteamamerica has a brilliant futureteamamerica has a brilliant futureteamamerica has a brilliant futureteamamerica has a brilliant future
 
teamamerica's Avatar
Joined: Oct 2012, #89345
Location: az
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Posts: 742
teamamerica's Tacoma Gallery
"Be the better person" is a bunch of bullshit created by someone who had no balls, and wanted an excuse for beign a pussy. Forget her, it's like having a mother that abandons you until she is about to die she has center. She isn't really a mother. A mom is someone who was there for you, likewise for a sister. Someone's a dick on there death bed, tell then they are a dick so if they get better they may realize how shitty of a person they have been
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2013, 01:32 PM   #14
RESIST
moondeath is one of the sharper tools in the shedmoondeath is one of the sharper tools in the shedmoondeath is one of the sharper tools in the shedmoondeath is one of the sharper tools in the shedmoondeath is one of the sharper tools in the shedmoondeath is one of the sharper tools in the shedmoondeath is one of the sharper tools in the shedmoondeath is one of the sharper tools in the shedmoondeath is one of the sharper tools in the shedmoondeath is one of the sharper tools in the shedmoondeath is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
moondeath's Avatar
Name: Chris
Joined: Jan 2011, #48948
Location: Pa, Carlisle
Gender: Dude
Posts: 1,941
moondeath's Tacoma Gallery
If you've already tried with her and she continually causes problems, you can't fix something that she has wrong with herself. Until she does that there's no reason to let her to affect your families happiness.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2013, 01:33 PM   #15
Purveyor of Fun
benbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shedbenbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shedbenbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shedbenbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shedbenbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shedbenbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shedbenbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shedbenbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shedbenbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shedbenbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shedbenbacher is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
benbacher's Avatar
Name: ^
Joined: Jun 2011, #59032
Location: Anchorage, AK
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,111
benbacher's Tacoma Gallery
Quote:
Originally Posted by TacomaPrime View Post
I've gotten back into good graces with her before, only for her to place more demands on us, and everything go straight to hell again. Her "My way or the highway" attitude regarding attending her kids birthday parties EVERY year, just doesn't fly with me.
I won't try and convince you either way, all I know, is that for me? It took me being vulnerable with my sister and being very honest with where I was at, explaining how she had hurt me and what her behavior meant to me personally, in a way that was COMPLETELY free of attack or shame for her, for her and I to be able to hug it out.

Never before or since has someone angered me as much as she had, but she's still my sister, and that's not going to change. You can write off just about anyone, but when it comes to family, it'll always leave you emptier than before. It's just different that way.

If its anything like my situation, you're at a place where you tell yourself all the time that you just don't care, but really, what's happening is you're trying to convince yourself you don't care so you don't have to care.

Now that's me projecting what I went through onto your situation and it may not be totally accurate, but for me, that's what happened. Ultimately, being repeatedly open and honest with her and crying my eyes out made all the difference, and I'm so glad it did. I wanted to love my sister, but there were genuinely things that had to be put out there in order for to love (verb) her.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2013, 01:35 PM   #16
Cybertronian Tacoma
TacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shedTacomaPrime is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
TacomaPrime's Avatar
Name: Greg
Joined: May 2011, #56955
Location: Illinois
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,415
TacomaPrime's Tacoma Gallery
I've tried being the better person on multiple occasions, and it is always met with disdain and more demands. I have apologized till I was blue in the face, and its never helped. I haven't spoken to her in over two years now, and those two years have been the happiest, most stress free that my wife and I have had in forever.
oh and, nevermind the fact that her and her family have never once come to visit us, because according to her, it's too hard to go on trips with kids. Yet my wifes parents drive down from minnesota, 10 hours, at least twice a year to visit us. They have multiple hip/leg issues which makes it hard for them to walk, and also bring their dog with them.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2013, 01:35 PM   #17
U know fish can hear u thinking just b4 u sneeze
Skinny Rogers is one of the sharper tools in the shedSkinny Rogers is one of the sharper tools in the shedSkinny Rogers is one of the sharper tools in the shedSkinny Rogers is one of the sharper tools in the shedSkinny Rogers is one of the sharper tools in the shedSkinny Rogers is one of the sharper tools in the shedSkinny Rogers is one of the sharper tools in the shedSkinny Rogers is one of the sharper tools in the shedSkinny Rogers is one of the sharper tools in the shedSkinny Rogers is one of the sharper tools in the shedSkinny Rogers is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
Skinny Rogers's Avatar
Name: Lance
Joined: Jan 2013, #94479
Location: NC
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 719
Skinny Rogers's Tacoma Gallery
Ur in a tough spot op. On one hand it's terrible that she sends the gifts back and has excommunicated u and ur wife. That's not ur fault that she wants u at every birthday. But it's hard to make them all financially and I understand that. She is taking a very spoiled and demanding position on this. Kinda like its her way or the highway and that's not how adults r supposed to act. Sorry if I overstepped my boundary. But on the other hand she is family and there is nothing more important than that. She's ur only sis and god forbid anything ever happen to her and u live with that regret. So I would try to def reach out and if she shoots u down keep trying. There has to b common ground and she needs to meet u half way so y'all can start rebuilding. Just my .02. Good luck.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2013, 01:39 PM   #18
subaru of america
rickmeseke is one of the sharper tools in the shedrickmeseke is one of the sharper tools in the shedrickmeseke is one of the sharper tools in the shedrickmeseke is one of the sharper tools in the shedrickmeseke is one of the sharper tools in the shedrickmeseke is one of the sharper tools in the shedrickmeseke is one of the sharper tools in the shedrickmeseke is one of the sharper tools in the shedrickmeseke is one of the sharper tools in the shedrickmeseke is one of the sharper tools in the shedrickmeseke is one of the sharper tools in the shed
Name: Ricky
Joined: Nov 2012, #90811
Location: Brunswick, GA
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Posts: 979
rickmeseke's Tacoma Gallery
if youve sent gifts and tried calling her, screw her.

my opinion, ive been told im cold hearted so dont listen to me
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2013, 01:39 PM   #19
Lieutenant Dan.
DeeKay21 is one of the sharper tools in the shedDeeKay21 is one of the sharper tools in the shedDeeKay21 is one of the sharper tools in the shedDeeKay21 is one of the sharper tools in the shedDeeKay21 is one of the sharper tools in the shedDeeKay21 is one of the sharper tools in the shedDeeKay21 is one of the sharper tools in the shedDeeKay21 is one of the sharper tools in the shedDeeKay21 is one of the sharper tools in the shedDeeKay21 is one of the sharper tools in the shedDeeKay21 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
DeeKay21's Avatar
Firefighter: Lieutenant
Joined: Nov 2008, #10651
Location: Nevada/Utah
Gender: Guy
Posts: 13,733
DeeKay21's Tacoma Gallery
I dont think your in the wrong if you dont care cause at least your making an effort and sending gifts to your nieces and nephews and she should be ashamed of herself using the kids to get back at you guys. Yeah shes still your sister but if shes not going to act like it and act like a 5-year old then so be it. I'd still try and be in the kids lives if I was your thought since your uncle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-2013, 01:47 PM   #20
It burns when I pee....
ABA180 is one of the sharper tools in the shedABA180 is one of the sharper tools in the shedABA180 is one of the sharper tools in the shedABA180 is one of the sharper tools in the shedABA180 is one of the sharper tools in the shedABA180 is one of the sharper tools in the shedABA180 is one of the sharper tools in the shedABA180 is one of the sharper tools in the shedABA180 is one of the sharper tools in the shedABA180 is one of the sharper tools in the shedABA180 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
ABA180's Avatar
Name: Chris
Joined: Oct 2012, #88520
Location: East Bridgewater MA
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,417
ABA180's Tacoma Gallery
Quote:
Originally Posted by TacomaPrime View Post
So my sister, who basically excommunicated my wife and I from her family, because we didn't drive 4 hours for every single one of her kids birthdays, is in the hospital with either a pulmonary embolism, or a really bad lung infection. Not sure which yet.
My mother just called me to tell me this. The problem is I was just kind of like, "uh huh" "ok" It didn't really faze me. I kind of don't care too much.
I mean, my sister basically uses her kids as pawns against my wife and I, makes completely unrealistic demands of us, (she expects us to show up for every birthday, every year. Her kids birthdays are now in march, april, july and September. I can't afford to make that trip that many times a year). She sends back gifts we try to send my nephews, and doesn't even give them to them. I tried calling and making amends once, and she didn't answer the phone. Texted me the next day saying that that wasn't a good time to talk. And I haven't hear back from her since.

Would I be a complete asshole if I just don't give a shit?
Nope. Sometimes it's called protecting yourself.

My aunt (who lives in Canada so it's not like I see her anyway) is just a selfish and manipulative person. I had to be nice to her when my grandparents were alive so she didn't try to turn them against me but I made it clear to my parents (she is on my mom's side) that I want nothing to do with her or her children, that they are not to give her my phone number or address and not to bring her near my house if she comes to visit..and that if she is coming that I am to be notified before they arrive and after they leave so I don't stop by and run into her.

Not as bad as you but my sis and I weren't close growing up. I've tried to bridge the gap as we've gotten older and have our own lives but it's not returned unless she needs something. Hurts especially that I barely see my niece and nephews and they aren't that far away.

Maybe you could just tell yourself you hope she makes it through, even if just for her childrens' sake whom I'm sure you still love..that's easy enough and places the blame where it lies solely.
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Grinch's Drunk...... Build TheGrinch 2nd Gen. Builds 11 09-20-2012 10:22 PM
Happy Birthday The Grinch! Hot Tamale Off-Topic Discussion 3 02-10-2012 10:19 AM
A real life Grinch story jackhart Off-Topic Discussion 8 12-26-2011 07:22 PM


Copyright © 2014 Tacoma Forum. Tacoma World is not owned by, or affiliated with Toyota Motor Corporation.