OK, SO HAS ANYONE ELSES 3YEAR OLD. . .

peed all over the floor because he was aiming for the old lunchbox you gave him to play with?

got up and ran to the bathroom yelling he's gotta go pp, your on tw and decide he has it under control, hear the toilet seat slam down with a bloody murder scream and he runs back toward you clasping his manhood? (I thought there would be zero downsides to having a tall toilet, this has happened twice now to the poor guy)

asked you to kiss his manhood, because, well, it makes his other boo-boos feel better?

decided that womens' chest area is a great place to play drums?

decided that the neighbor's wife needs a spanking?

rudely shushed the owner of the company you work for because you did it to him because "its polite to be quiet in the office, people are trying to work."?

these are a few of my head-down father moments. . . often doing my best to hide my laughter. I want to hear yours, I feel a little bit alone with these escapades

 

Subbed for future shenanigans

 

something tells me I may be able to make this thread multi-page with mine alone.

stopped EVERY. SINGLE. rig on a trail to comment them on their SHOCK-BOOTS? or ask why they don't have shock-boots? or comment them on their c/v boot grease-holding ability, even though they are solid axles? (he developed an awareness of every part on my truck that resembles a toilet plunger because, well, hes oddly obsessed with toilet plungers and wonders why I have them on my truck)

warned said rigs as they get tired of his endless rubber-part related questions and drive off not to touch their brakes or exhaust because its "very hot and will burn"?

commented jeep guys on their nice "4runners"? (only because it has shock-boots)

 

I have a three year old daughter who has made me do things no one could have ever thought I would have ever done! Nuff said. I will elaborate later.

 

but the idea is in the details. give us as much as you have without cps coming

 

helped you spend hours on washing your truck. your so proud of him for "spraying all the bubbles off" and being attentive and listening to directions. only after its dry and you stand back to look at it he grabs the rag and decides you may have missed a spot?

 

in the process of working on your truck, he secretly takes all of your tools and decides they belong anywhere on your truck they might fit without falling off. i.e. lcas, holes in rims, between cab in bed, on top of leaf springs

 

since your truck is dusty, he decides its a great drawing board. you cant get mad because he finally made that square that he didn't care about drawing on paper

 

c'mon guys I cant be alone with this stuff, im questioning my parenting skills

 

5 y/o daughter walked in on us.
Announces to my wife "Mommy, if he does that again, call me and I'll help you get him off"

 

omg, my eyes are watering. no kits here.

 

lol that is fantastic. made my night right there

lucky hes not that intricate with words yet. we got, "hey, what you guys doing?" very awkwardly look at each other for answers and the best I could come up with was, "nothing, what are you doing?"

turned into a long conversation about shadows, tractors, 4runners, 4wheelers and doorknobs. toilet plungers im sure were in the mix too

 

good for you, don't do it, it completely makes it illegal to laugh out loud at the stuff your currently laughing at.

you show the laughter and they do one of two things,

continue the albeit funny, but wrong behavior

or get self conscious and demand you stop laughing at them right now. with a "do you understand me" thrown in to top it off. and that kind of talk does nothing to diffuse the parental giggling situation

 

hahaahah. well i wont be having them for a few years at least. 1. no girl right now. and 2 i’m 21 don’t want any in like the next 3 or 4 year maybe longer.


and wow i’m laughing so hard i can’t even spell kids right.

 

I work with kindergarten age kids as my summer job... I got 65 of them this year split between 3 of us

and sweet jeebus they're hilarious

 

start telling stories damn it!!

 

"Uncle cody.... Have you ever Sex?"

"...What?"

"My mom does it all the time, my dad gets mad at her"

*holding in laughter

"She pway's on her phone and sex all her friends and daddy gets mad"


One kid
always


always

plays with his nipples when he's talking to you
"R, Stop playing with your nipples! Im trying to talk to you"
is the best sentence I've ever had to say, in my entire life.

 

Just last week one girl called her best friend in to the bathroom with her

theyre both super girly girls that are gonna be prissy bitches when they grow up



so theyre taking a dump
one girl comes out of the stall with shit on her hand
calls the other girl out of the stall

throws the shit at her

the other girl goes back into the stall, wipes, and throws it at girl 1






we didnt hear about this till about 5 minutes later but holy fuck

 

I don’t even know what to say to that.....

 

I dread mine going into kindergarten. hes an only child, and we are young parents anyway so his interactions with kids his age don't happen a whole lot. he refers to anybody his age or younger as "babys" and feels the need to ask them why they are crying and what they got in trouble for. . .

I feared he would be shy, but he is way too outgoing. we spent this afternoon educating everybody in lowes which doorknobs are the best and demanding to shake hands for a formal introduction, as that's the polite thing to do. if I told him to not talk to strangers, he would tell everybody he cant talk because they are strangers. . . . .hes gunna wreak havoc in public schools