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New preamble to the constitution!

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Old 03-05-2009, 09:05 AM   #1
chris4x4 [OP] chris4x4 is offline
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
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New preamble to the constitution!

The following was sent to me in an e-mail:

"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."
  • ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
  • ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
  • ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
  • ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes. (This one is my pet peeve...get an education and go to work....don't expect everyone else to take care of you!)
  • ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
  • ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
  • ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
  • ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. (AMEN!)
  • ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
  • ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from! (Lastly....)
  • ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!
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Old 03-05-2009, 11:47 AM   #2
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Awesome thread!
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Old 03-05-2009, 12:08 PM   #3
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Truer words were never spoken.
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Old 03-05-2009, 12:18 PM   #4
Revived and BACK baby!
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Old 03-05-2009, 12:27 PM   #5
AKA: Jake the Wolf
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anyone care to break into song?
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Old 03-05-2009, 12:32 PM   #6
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The guy makes it simple but it would only work if they first hung all the lawyers
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Old 03-05-2009, 12:53 PM   #7
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taconinja is just really nicetaconinja is just really nicetaconinja is just really nicetaconinja is just really nice
 
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I like this.
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Old 03-05-2009, 12:55 PM   #8
Aspiring wrench monkey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chris4x4 View Post
The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA. This guy should run for President one day...
FALSE
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Old 03-05-2009, 12:56 PM   #9
09 but I drive a 012 Expedition...
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Hahaha! That's awesome! Love it!
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Old 03-05-2009, 12:59 PM   #10
chris4x4 [OP] chris4x4 is offline
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
chris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TacoCo View Post
It was sent to me in an E-mail. I never bothered to check the validity.

Fixed.
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Old 03-05-2009, 01:00 PM   #11
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Regardless of who wrote it, I like it.
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Old 03-05-2009, 01:01 PM   #12
Aspiring wrench monkey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chris4x4 View Post
It was sent to me in an E-mail. I never bothered to check the validity.

Fixed.
It's just something that I do out of habit. I usually respond to those e-mails with the snopes link to get people to quit forwarding me unsubstantiated stuff.
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Old 03-05-2009, 01:03 PM   #13
chris4x4 [OP] chris4x4 is offline
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
chris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TacoCo View Post
It's just something that I do out of habit. I usually respond to those e-mails with the snopes link to get people to quit forwarding me unsubstantiated stuff.
I usually do as well....Good catch, bye the way.
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Old 03-05-2009, 01:13 PM   #15
chris4x4 [OP] chris4x4 is offline
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
chris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LonghornTaco View Post
I think this is probably my favorite thread of yours so far!

NICE WORK!
You mean you dont like my "Fixing threads"???
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Old 03-05-2009, 01:16 PM   #16
Can you pass the bailout please?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chris4x4 View Post
You mean you dont like my "Fixing threads"???
No, those are awesome too. This one is just my favorite!

I've already burned the fur off my dogs with the flamethrower how-to, put a neighbor in the hospital with the golf-ball shotgun how-to and if I had my own washing machine, I'd probably have followed that how-to as well...
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Old 03-05-2009, 01:17 PM   #17
chris4x4 [OP] chris4x4 is offline
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
chris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LonghornTaco View Post
No, those are awesome too. This one is just my favorite!

I've already burned the fur off my dogs with the flamethrower how-to, put a neighbor in the hospital with the golf-ball shotgun how-to and if I had my own washing machine, I'd probably have followed that how-to as well...
LOL!! Thanks, Buddy!
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