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Old 06-28-2014, 07:27 PM   #181
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Originally Posted by floodedkiwi View Post
Hey, OP, been a while. Hope all is well and and stepping along one at a time....
Everything is well. Still clean and sober.
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Old 06-28-2014, 07:30 PM   #182
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great to hear. all is good on this side as well....
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Old 06-28-2014, 07:57 PM   #183
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Originally Posted by Ecidemon View Post
I've been trying to quit drinking, but when you're self medicating it's difficult. I used to enjoy having a beer or 2 after work, but for the last year and a half I've drank every day because I feel I have to. I've drank since I was a teen, but not every day, and I went a year here and there where I didn't drink at all. I have a 2 year old daughter and a wife who's put up with it so far, but I know if I don't change something fast, I'll lose them both. Somehow, this still isn't enough to make me quit drinking, despite wanting to quit. I suffer from pretty severe anxiety and panic attacks, where I feel like I could drop dead any second. I started drinking every day after I lost my job xmas 2012. I've since been re-employed, at a much better company and job, but I still drink every day. Basically I traded drinking heavy Friday and/or Saturday to drinking every day. I'm also on a benzodiazepine, although less potent than xanax. My Mother, her Sister, Brother and Father were all alcoholics. Unfortunately, it killed my grandfather when I was young, and my mother new years 2001. I feel that if I don't change, this is where I'm headed.
I feel you brother. I'm 27 and have basically been drinking everyday since the age of 16-18. Like alot of others I come from a whole family of functional alcoholics. None of us have really ever had a problem with work or the law. I've known since childhood I was a alcoholic but frankly can't stand AA although I'm gonna give it another shot soon. My grandfather was a long time sponsor actually. It sucks because honestly I find it easier to quit smoking cigarettes then alcohol.
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Old 06-30-2014, 10:13 AM   #184
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clc clc View Post
I feel you brother. I'm 27 and have basically been drinking everyday since the age of 16-18. Like alot of others I come from a whole family of functional alcoholics. None of us have really ever had a problem with work or the law. I've known since childhood I was a alcoholic but frankly can't stand AA although I'm gonna give it another shot soon. My grandfather was a long time sponsor actually. It sucks because honestly I find it easier to quit smoking cigarettes then alcohol.

Alcoholism = The only disease you can get yelled at for having.


As stated in my first post I never really had a issue with alcohol / drugs until the floodgates opened with that one run. That is no excuse or a get out of jail free card though. I should have handled it in a much better way but I didn't. I too have alcoholism in my family but.... to put it bluntly, you can not use that as a crutch. I agree that genetics play a role in whether you are more predisposed to become dependent on alcohol but it is also a choice. I chose poorly.

If you truly want to quit you will find a way. If not... the way will be found for you. I don't mean that to sound harsh but surviving what I went though gives me a new perspective on the way things work. You may be a functioning alcoholic (I was) but eventually that will play out.

I tend to agree with you on AA. I think AA is a very good program. Great in fact. I would highly recommend it to anyone that is struggling. That said, it wasn't for me. I could get to the first step but that was it. In the end... it comes down to how much you want to quit. It is a life changing event and I will not lie and say that it is easy. But... once you get over the hump it no longer controls your life.

I hope you can get to that point.
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Old 07-08-2014, 03:12 PM   #185
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I want to thank you for posting this, takes a lot of courage to talk openlydifficulties you are working through. Thankfully, I've never had a drinkingproblem, but I do have thoughts from deployments that creep up. My biggest helphas been, and always will be, my wife. Her and my son keep me grounded and onthe right track. Very inspirational, thanks again for posting.
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Old 07-08-2014, 03:17 PM   #186
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Originally Posted by trdkrupp View Post
I want to thank you for posting this, takes a lot of courage to talk openlydifficulties you are working through. Thankfully, I've never had a drinkingproblem, but I do have thoughts from deployments that creep up. My biggest helphas been, and always will be, my wife. Her and my son keep me grounded and onthe right track. Very inspirational, thanks again for posting.
Thank you
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Old 08-12-2014, 08:31 PM   #187
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PTSD, TBI, alcohol/substance abuse....5 years as of 7/23/14. That was one of the big combat anniversary dates for me. This year my 2nd child, a son (I have a daughter already) was also born on 7/23/14 making a very bad day a wonderful day
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Old 08-12-2014, 08:36 PM   #188
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ScreamingEagle101 View Post
PTSD, TBI, alcohol/substance abuse....5 years as of 7/23/14. That was one of the big combat anniversary dates for me. This year my 2nd child, a son (I have a daughter already) was also born on 7/23/14 making a very bad day a wonderful day
That's great brother!
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Old 08-21-2014, 10:13 PM   #189
What is this "search" you speak of?
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respect.
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Old 08-23-2014, 01:58 PM   #190
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I also have PTSD. Long story short, I was in pursuit of a stolen car. The suspect stopped his car and tried to take my head off with an AR15 from about 15 feet away. He fired 20 rounds at me. I shot him back. He's dead now. That incident, coupled with the others like RearView mentioned that can't be un-seen can really take a toll after a while.

The shooting was August 3rd, 2011. I knew I was in trouble when I started turning to alcohol just to be able to relax. When I wake up in the morning and the first thing I think about was having a glass of tequila, I knew something was wrong. August 3rd of this year was the night I had my last drink. I've decided to quit. So far so good.

RearView, if you ever need to talk about anything, feel free to PM me. I've been there.

Dunckel
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Old 08-23-2014, 04:20 PM   #191
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Originally Posted by Dunckel View Post
August 3rd of this year was the night I had my last drink. I've decided to quit. So far so good.

RearView, if you ever need to talk about anything, feel free to PM me. I've been there.

Dunckel
That's great brother. I'm coming up on my 2 year anniversary. Same goes with you my friend. If you ever need to talk I'm always here.
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Old 10-03-2014, 07:56 PM   #192
Plenty of slaves for my robot colony?
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That type of work would be tough. I don't think I could sleep at night after seeing things like that.

Props to your sobriety!
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Old 10-03-2014, 08:05 PM   #193
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awesome man thats AWESOME
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Old 10-03-2014, 08:06 PM   #194
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oh forgot WWOOOOOO PIIIGGGGG SSOOOOOOOOIIIIIEEEE
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Old 10-03-2014, 08:23 PM   #195
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Thanks guys!

And here's to hoping with the Razorbacks!!
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Old 10-04-2014, 04:40 AM   #196
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Dude! RearViewMirror! Whens your anniversary..? I just came across this thread by mistake and my 3 years is Sunday Oct 5! I love how this program works. I dont even know you but I felt your story. Language of the heart. Ive also been in the med field for 8 years and have seen alot as well as a grip of personal battles and issues. Truly inspired the most by guys like you as well as anyone else willing to seek out a higher power through adversity and a different design for livin! Much love!
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Old 10-04-2014, 06:03 AM   #197
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Terminal4 View Post
Dude! RearViewMirror! Whens your anniversary..?
Middle of Sept 2012.

I just realized this thread is one year old yesterday.

I don't know if I've stated in the past or not. But the reason I keep the PTSD / Sobriety Thread linked in my signature is for me. Not for anyone else. I have to stare at that link every time I post something here. That's not to say that I don't want anyone clicking on the link and hopefully helping someone in the process. I do. But the original intent was to make me think about it every time I post.

What I've learned in the last year since posting this thread:

First... The amount of responses have been overwhelming. You men / women have been a great support for me and have given me a outlet. I know now that I'm not the only one with demons that haunt you.

I've learned to live one day at a time and enjoy each day that I'm allowed to remain on this earth.

I've learned that the further you get from "your" own personal rock bottom, the more perspective you gain from how you got there in the first place. I'm not remotely the same person I was before. It was / is truly a life changing event that required a lot of persistence and help from friends and family.

And most importantly... I've learned that I had to ask for help. Which to me was a huge hurdle to jump. I have made it to where I am personally accountable to everyone I know.

I wish none of this would have ever happened. I'm embarrassed, ashamed, and the guilt I feel will never go away. But on the other hand, it did happen, and I'm glad it did. It has made me a better person in the long run. And for that I'm thankful.

So, thank all of you for all the responses / PM's over the last year. It is truly a testament as to how good this community is. On a truck forum no less.

In all sincerity, Thank you!
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Old 10-29-2014, 02:57 PM   #198
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Thank you for posting this RearviewMirror! I too have recently decided to quit after 6 years, which started off as one or two drinks a week and turned into drinking one or two a night after work. For me, I had lost my job earlier this year, and started using it to "self-medicate" from the frustration. Then when I found a job (actually 2), I was working every day and using that as an excuse.

I know I have not been clean as long as most of your folks (it sounds like), but this thread is inspiring to me. I hope to continue on a sober lifestyle.
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Old 10-29-2014, 04:12 PM   #199
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Originally Posted by 13Greysled View Post
Thank you for posting this RearviewMirror! I too have recently decided to quit after 6 years, which started off as one or two drinks a week and turned into drinking one or two a night after work. For me, I had lost my job earlier this year, and started using it to "self-medicate" from the frustration. Then when I found a job (actually 2), I was working every day and using that as an excuse.

I know I have not been clean as long as most of your folks (it sounds like), but this thread is inspiring to me. I hope to continue on a sober lifestyle.
Good for you. That is my hope for you also. It is a day to day process but as time goes on it gets much easier I promise.
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Old 11-03-2014, 08:41 AM   #200
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You know, the hardest thing for people to do is own up to their actions, everyone faces that fear. For you to have faced that fear, overcome it, and then let others know about it, not for praise or pride, but for the offer of help to another person, takes much more of a man than you would think. I'm glad that you have overcome your issues and have, more than likely, helped many others in one way or another. Im glad you found your road to recovery and are still on it.
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