Married or divorced? Need advice

You'll never know for sure.

What you have to be is committed to WORK at it all the time, and not give up when the going gets tough. And it will at some point. That goes for both. Is she a fighter, or somone who will throw in the towel when it isn't going her way?

Nothing good is easy, but it can be great. IF YOU MAKE IT THAT WAY...

 

I knew it was right when I met her and she asked to watch hockey, baseball and football. She wanted her own gun to go hunting. She had a child already (I adopted him) and she wanted more (I said I wanted two, she took me to task and gave me twins!).

The two most important things are communication and trust. I was with my love for 5 years before we married. Our twins were the flower girl and ring bearer at 3 yrs old. I met her in 1986 and we married in 1991 and I still, to this day, want to be with her more than with anyone else. We do a lot together but not everything. Our enjoyment today is our 2 grandkids with another on the way and our time killer is both of us out on the supersports winding up 998cc through the corners.

• Communicate everything clearly
• No skeletons in your closets
• Never go to bed angry. Laughter is the best!
• Kiss her in the morning
• Kiss her goodnight!
• Trust her with her friends be they male or female (Give her space!)
• Never give her a resaon to doubt you.
• Surprise her when she *least* expects it. Don't wait for traditional "special occasions!"
• There is NOTHING that cannot be settled over a cup of coffee. Arguing is not ever necessary. Agree to disagree.
• You can never tell her enough "I love you."
• If all else fails, she is right, you are wrong and the proper answer is "Yes Dear."

 

OP; something to keep in mind:
Not getting married because you might someday get divorced is like not buying a house because you're afraid that someday it might burn down.

 

Wait! Y'all aren't done growing up and WILL change as time goes on. In all aspects. Not saying that it wouldn't work but if it's meant to b it's meant to b. if she loves u she won't go anywhere. But I'd say it's too early to take the plunge. But to each his own and good luck with whatever decision u make!

 

Ha ha, yeah I forgot to mention that little nugget of truth.

 

^^^This is b.s.

The reason the divirce rate is so high in this country is because people make it an option. Marriage is hard work. If people make that commitment, they should keep that commitment. If times are tough, and trust me they will get tough at times, seek counseling and work to solve the issues to make you marriage better and things will improve. Keep your commitment.

 

I got married when I was 20. Dated for 5 years before that. Coming up on 4 years in July. I wouldn't change a thing about our life together, it's been awesome. Marriage, like anything else in life, is what you make of it. I would caution you though, if you are uncertain about it enough to ask if you should get married on a truck forum, you are probably not ready. When we were ready to get married, we were so certain about it, nothing could have stopped us.

 

Bill Murray said this not too long ago, and I found it really true.

Instead of spending money on the ring travel the world with her and if you're still in love with her when you get back to the airport where you first started. Ask her to marry you right there and then.

 

I got married at 22 and my bride was 21. In retrospect, for us this was WAY too young. We just didn't know enough about life at that point to be making any 'forever' commitments. The best day of our 10-year marriage was the last one.

 

I have been married ONE TIME--waited until 32 YO to tie the knot.
Have fun while you are single-RAISE HELL-you cannot do that once you are married. be a little selfish--do things that you will be unable to do if you were married.
Live together for a while and see how that works out.
I see many people get married TOO YOUNG(my daughter included(she was 24) ).
It a BIG WORLD out there--LIFE LIFE to the FULLEST.
VERY GLAD I WAITED.
Would -coulda- shoulda-life is short -LIVE IT.

 

The house burning might be less of a financial hit though...

Or so I hear, never been through a divorce.

 

My wife and I dated 6 years before we got married and we have been married almost 2 years now. If your past the honeymoon phase of dating, you have had some solid arguments and understand eachother tactics and limits, you dont hide anything from her, and you are willing to fight for the relationship for the rest of your life because you love her. Then do it.

 

I was married at 21 marriage is not a simple task it takes a lot of work and knowing no one is perfect including yourself. Marring young can work with effort by both parties you two will grow together the hard part is growing together and at the same rate. Forget about your ancestors 50% of marriages don't work that does not mean you’re are destined to fail. I am still married to the same one after 47 years and at some point it actually gets easier eventually two will become one.

 

I got married at 23 and it didn't work out. Granted, I didn't feel the same about her as you seem to feel about your GF but I thought it would work out. Either way, there's no NEED to be married now. There's no competition to see who can be married the longest. Marriage changes things...it's hard to explain but it just does. If things are perfect now, don't go messing with that. when you're 30-something and you still feel like you want to live the rest of your life with this person, go for it. but for now just let it be.

 

My parents divorced when I was 6. It sucked.

For me, I was ready when I knew I loved and trusted her, and was financially stable enough to support another person.

I've been with my wife since I was 19, and married for 10 years now. It is not easy, and takes a lot of work. Especially when you are young as you are, you and your girl will still mature and change. The challenge is to change together and not drift apart. Don't let fights run the relationship. I had a rough patch and we went to counseling. It worked for us, and helped us learn to communicate. You both need to want to work on it, not just one person.

All that being said, you are going to be with this person for a long time. Gotta be great friends, not just lovers. I enjoy the fact that my wife and I can just hang out in the backyard or where ever, just shut the fuck up, and still enjoy each others company.

If you want to marry her, do it, but don't feel you have to. There is no knowing now is the time, just like having kids.

 

This guy gets it haha.

 

well said

 

Excellent: One other add: Do not expect the other person to make you happy. We are responsible for our own well being. The test I used to determine my wife was the one was: "Do I like who I am and how I behave when I am with her?" Own your own shit. Don't dump on each other.

 

Started dating my wife at 19 years old. 32 now, still together and still married.

Marriage is a lot of work, and a lot more compromise. It can work but I'll tell you know, it's harder than any job you'll ever have. Women are nuts!

We bicker, we fight, we have our moments, but in the end, we are happy, we are still in love, and it took a lot to get to where we are at today. Totally worth it.

 

There is lots of good advice on here. I'm now 29 and got married back in 2010. We celebrated 4 years back in February. In some ways it feels like we haven't been married but a year or less. In other ways, I feel like I've known her for 26 years.

I'm going to try to avoid some of the things that have already been mentioned. Again, there is some sound advice on here both for and against.

Do you want to sleep with other people? To me, marriage is a sacred bond. Some people are open to the idea, others are not. I don't know/care where both of you stand, but that is something to consider.

Do you each get along with the family of the other person? You are marrying them too.

I agree with the idea of travel together. It's good to see how someone does outside of their element. Plus, you get to see more places and experience things that you wouldn't otherwise.

I lived with my wife before we married. It hurt us in some ways, but it helped in some ways too. That comes down to you and her. Talk about it.

She was my best friend then. She's my best friend now. Sex is good, but don't base any decision on it.

Argue. I tend to let things roll off my shoulder and not argue. It's just my personality. It drives her nuts because she perceives it as not caring. Arguing helps you make a stand and lets her know that you care about what happens to you. It also lets you know that you can make it past an argument.

Talk about kids. Do you want them? How many? Who's family is more likely to help out.

Talk about money. Who is going to manage it? Do you combine accounts or keep them separate? Regardless of how you do it, you should come up with a budget....together.

What's ironic in my situation. Divorce is a foreign concept in her family. It's more of the norm in mine. One of her biggest concerns with marrying me is that I would leave her. She's come a lot closer to leaving me than I ever have to leaving her. Be prepared to fight.

It's not easy, but it isn't exactly hard either. It's one of those things that cannot be described accurately because it is different for everyone. Whatever you do, good luck!

Oh, and I see no problem with asking other opinions on a truck forum. You're being smart by asking people who are guaranteed to have a different opinion than you for their thoughts. Read everyone's advice. Whether you take it or not is up to you.