Sorry to dump them all at once.... Some I've collected from another site.
"Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches, it's more like a jar of Jalapenos--what you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow......"
Never take a cross country trip with a kid who has just learned to whistle.
"Studies either verify common sense, or they're wrong." --Dennis Prager
The one who laughs last, thinks slowest!
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup!
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." ~Grouch Marx
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Those lacking in common sense require a greater margin of error.
If at first you don't succeed--don't try sky diving!!
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Some people claim to want to hear others views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.
Warped enough to power the Enterprise
It always helps to remember that common sense is the least common of all the senses
"Alcohol and calculus don't mix. If you drink, don't derive."
"We can categorically state that we have not released man-eating badgers into the area." - Major Mike Shearer - British Army - Basra, Iraq
Life is short, Death is long, Take a vacation.
If you can't fix it with a hammer... you have an electrical problem.
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape.