Jokes here

I figured why not start a thread where everybody can tell jokes. We could use a good laugh these days. I'll start.

Aptitude test. A research team brings three men of different descent to take an aptitude test for their research. They get a german, a russian and an american. The researchers bring them into a room and tell them:
"Each of you will have to do these three things:
1 - iron a shirt
2 - eat a loaf of bread
3 - pleasure a woman
...you can do them however you like, in any order at all, but you will have only 7 minutes to complete all three if you can."

First is the german: he starts ironing his shirt meticulosly till he gets it just right then he sits at the table, cuts a couple thin slices of bread, starts eating...and the time runs out.
Next is the russian: he grabs the woman and starts ravashing her then he grabs the loaf of bread and starts biting into it, eats about half of it and the time runs out.
Last is the american: he hands the woman the iron and she starts ironing the shirt as he goes and pounds her from behind while with one hand eating the bread. He finishes before the time runs out and wins.

The researchers call them back into the room and asked:
"We would like to know from each of you, the reason why you did these things in the order you did them, so we can get a better understanding of your culture and what you value most"

The german: "Us germans, we work firsta and make sure we do our job right. After we work, we eat a little bit. At the end of the day if we have time for some pleasure, fine. If not, that's fine too."
The russian: "Us russians, we like to party and pleasure ourselves as much and as hard as we can. And that gets us hungry so we have to eat. After that comes work. IF we can sqweez it in fine, if not...
The american: "Us americans....if we don't fuck the one's who's working for us, we can't eat our bread peacefully..."

 

heh not bad... should be in off topic though