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The Best Divorce Letter

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Old 06-15-2009, 08:12 PM   #1
chris4x4 [OP] chris4x4 is offline
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
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The Best Divorce Letter

Dear wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm
leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7
years & I have nothing to show
for it. These last 2
weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you
quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last
week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new
haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a
brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minute
s, & went straight to sleep after
watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love
me anymore; or anything that connects us as husband &
wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love
me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don't try
to find me. Your SISTER & I
are
moving away to
West Virginia together! Have a great life!



Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made
my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true

you & I have been married for 7 years,
although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your
constant whining & griping. Too bad that
doesn't
work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but
the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like
a girl!' Since my mother raised me
not to say anything
if you can't say something nice, I didn't
comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten
me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7
years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from
you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I
prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed
$50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved
you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto
for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us
2
tickets to
Jamaica
But when I got home you were
gone Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you
have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said
that the letter
you wrote ensures you won't get a dime
from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!


P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my
sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:13 PM   #2
This is TW. One never knows what is a joke anymore
beastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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haha.....wasnt this in a joke thread not to long back?
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:17 PM   #4
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BLUVVV has a spectacular aura aboutBLUVVV has a spectacular aura aboutBLUVVV has a spectacular aura about
 
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that cant be real..too many crazy factors!
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:18 PM   #5
chris4x4 [OP] chris4x4 is offline
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
chris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beastlytaco View Post
haha.....wasnt this in a joke thread not to long back?
Was it?? I didnt see it...I dont think.......
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:21 PM   #7
chris4x4 [OP] chris4x4 is offline
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
chris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luk8272 View Post
Thats a good one glad to see it again.
DOH!
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:28 PM   #8
This is TW. One never knows what is a joke anymore
beastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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hey now, its still just as funny. besides, a bunch of other people get to see it now.
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:29 PM   #9
chris4x4 [OP] chris4x4 is offline
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
chris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shedchris4x4 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beastlytaco View Post
hey now, its still just as funny. besides, a bunch of other people get to see it now.
Thanks, Buddy.
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:29 PM   #10
This is TW. One never knows what is a joke anymore
beastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shedbeastlytaco is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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no problem Chris
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:45 PM   #11
once flirted with danger, danger got clingy
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popped my cherry. good one i lol'd
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Old 06-16-2009, 07:50 AM   #12
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Old 06-16-2009, 09:10 PM   #13
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thats some funny shit
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Old 06-17-2009, 05:49 PM   #14
spp spp is offline
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spp is a splendid one to beholdspp is a splendid one to beholdspp is a splendid one to beholdspp is a splendid one to beholdspp is a splendid one to beholdspp is a splendid one to beholdspp is a splendid one to beholdspp is a splendid one to behold
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BLUVVV View Post
that cant be real..too many crazy factors!
GEE. Ya Think?
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