Ok....As a kid, My parents made me be an "Alter Boy" at our church. My resposibilities included lighting of the candles, adn collecting the money after the "Giveing"......Welll.......Before Mass, I would sit in a room, and prepare the bread and wine. LOTS OF WINE!
Welll......i drank some. And by "Some" I mean a whole bottle.
Mass started about 5 mins after I finished the bottle. By the time I had to collect the money (about 40 mins or so later), I was trashed. I wobbled off the podeum, or whatever its called, and stood at the front of the congregation, collected the money. As I took the money to where I had to deposit it, I was pretty much blind at this point, I tripped over the choior microphones, which happened to all be linked together, pulling all of them down with loud "POOF" sounds....then as I was falling, I knocked over some candles, lighting the podeum on fire. being completly drunk, I found it comfortable to be lying on a flameing podium, and passed out. Somehow, the fire was put out, and I was relived of my alterboy duties.