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Funniest Chuck Norris quotes

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by Buzzoff, Jul 30, 2009.

  1. Jul 30, 2009 at 1:55 PM
    #1
    Buzzoff

    #1
    Buzzoff [OP] Don't go ninja'in nobody don't need ninja'in

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    Last week I saw a t-shirt at Kohl's that had hilarious Chuck Norris quotes on it. Seems like these past couple of years these kind of quotes or sayings have immortalized him forever....So let's hear your best Chuck Norris saying....


    Chuck Norris is so bad, the Boogieman looks under his bed for him before going to sleep!!!

    When Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push himself up....he pushes the world down....
     
    Buzzoff, Jul 30, 2009
    #1
  2. Jul 30, 2009 at 1:56 PM
    #2
    mjp2

    #2
    mjp2 Living vicariously through myself Moderator

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    Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong to a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck won by 5.
     
    mjp2, Jul 30, 2009
    #2
  3. Jul 30, 2009 at 1:57 PM
    #3
    Jester243

    #3
    Jester243 all I wanted was a god dang picture of a hotdog...

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    some of this, a little of that
    http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/


    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
    Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
    There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
    Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
    Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
    Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
    Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
    There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
    When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
    Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
    Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
    Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
    Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
    Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
    Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
    Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship
     
    Jester243, Jul 30, 2009
    #3
  4. Jul 30, 2009 at 1:58 PM
    #4
    tacomaman06

    #4
    tacomaman06 Carolina Alliance: Enforcer

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    getting there....
    tacomaman06, Jul 30, 2009
    #4
  5. Jul 30, 2009 at 2:04 PM
    #5
    Buzzoff

    #5
    Buzzoff [OP] Don't go ninja'in nobody don't need ninja'in

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    AWWWWWWWWWW My bad..I even did a search:sorry:....But like money and hot chicks...............You can't have too many Chuck Norris jokes
     
    Buzzoff, Jul 30, 2009
    #5
  6. Jul 30, 2009 at 2:06 PM
    #6
    Burgman

    #6
    Burgman I KEEEEEL YOU

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    Will i saw the chuck norris is really luke skywalkers dad.. ahahah

    my fav.
    Chuck Norris doesnt believe in the periodic table, b/c the only element he beleives in is the element of suprise
     
    Burgman, Jul 30, 2009
    #6
  7. Jul 30, 2009 at 2:12 PM
    #7
    tacomaman06

    #7
    tacomaman06 Carolina Alliance: Enforcer

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    getting there....
    this is true.
     
    tacomaman06, Jul 30, 2009
    #7
  8. Jul 30, 2009 at 2:19 PM
    #8
    mikeyramone

    #8
    mikeyramone 220 - 221 Whatever it takes

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    Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light on, not because he's afraid of the dark but because the dark is scared of him.:D
     
    mikeyramone, Jul 30, 2009
    #8

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