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Text a girl and ask if her if "you can tap that"

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Old 10-22-2011, 10:05 AM   #2702
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NumNutz View Post
Instant Message:

Me: Hey let me get your sisters number I'm tryin to hit that

Friend: Um... Fuck you

Me: Come on I'll go easy on her

Friend: She is 12 fuck you

Me: Alright your mom. Let me get on that.

Friend: Dude fuck you

Me: Please

Friend: Alright fine

Me: Really?

Friend: 410 - ### - ###

Me: SWEET!

Friend: Have fun

--------------------------------------
Phone Call:

Mom: Hello

Me: Hey how are you doing?

Mom: I'm fine. how are you?

Me: I'm great. So when can I hit that?

Mom: NICK!!!

Me: Wait who is this?

Mom: Your mother!

Me: SHIT!!!

Hang Up

-------------------------------------------------------
Instant Message:

Friend: How did that work out for you?

Me: Fuck you

Friend: HAHAHAHAHA



My mom got a new phone that day and was hanging out with my friends family. He plays me like a flute.
ahahahaha one of the funniest ones so far
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Old 10-22-2011, 11:14 AM   #2703
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Me: Question...
wife: yes??
Me: When Can I tap that?
wife: omg. get home at a reasonable hour and we'll talk
Me: i'll hurry
Me: u gunna get revved up?
wife: way ahead of you


its too easy when ur married
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Old 10-22-2011, 11:50 AM   #2704
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piercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead Heretic View Post
Not for all of us married folk....
Agreed.

And doing this with friends ends badly....
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Old 10-23-2011, 07:55 AM   #2705
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piercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead Heretic View Post
^^^^^this I didnt post up what happenned when I texted an ex-coworker that...
I kinda skipped the whole question part, and met at a hotel room with her.

Wife was......not pleased. (Despite cheating herself, wanting a divorce, and ignoring my attempts to work things out for a year.)

Although oddly enough, it wasn't because of what I did rather it was because we lied about it.

Women.
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Old 10-23-2011, 11:14 AM   #2706
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piercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead Heretic View Post
We go to a marriage counselor
Tried that. Biggest waste of time ever. She wouldn't open up and talk to the counselor, or try anything she suggested. I finally told her it wasn't worth going if she wasn't going to try, and I stopped going with her.
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Old 11-02-2011, 11:29 AM   #2708
Living vicariously through myself
mjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Krazie Sj View Post


The rest of that message is for my eyes only...


Dude, I can't believe you posted this! Our entire conversation was meant for your eyes only!
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Old 11-02-2011, 01:08 PM   #2709
Devout Atheist
piercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mjp2 View Post
Dude, I can't believe you posted this! Our entire conversation was meant for your eyes only!
He sent me the whole conversation Mike. All I can say is bring your knee pads.
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Old 11-02-2011, 01:42 PM   #2710
Living vicariously through myself
mjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shedmjp2 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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And where the hell have you been?
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Old 11-02-2011, 01:45 PM   #2711
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97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed
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awh dont be a jew, show the rest!

edit: awh dont be a damn canadian, show the rest!
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Old 11-02-2011, 01:45 PM   #2712
...
G scott04 is one of the sharper tools in the shedG scott04 is one of the sharper tools in the shedG scott04 is one of the sharper tools in the shedG scott04 is one of the sharper tools in the shedG scott04 is one of the sharper tools in the shedG scott04 is one of the sharper tools in the shedG scott04 is one of the sharper tools in the shedG scott04 is one of the sharper tools in the shedG scott04 is one of the sharper tools in the shedG scott04 is one of the sharper tools in the shedG scott04 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 97yota4wd View Post
awh dont be a jew show the rest!
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Old 11-02-2011, 01:45 PM   #2713
no one ever pays me in gum
blacksheff405 is one of the sharper tools in the shedblacksheff405 is one of the sharper tools in the shedblacksheff405 is one of the sharper tools in the shedblacksheff405 is one of the sharper tools in the shedblacksheff405 is one of the sharper tools in the shedblacksheff405 is one of the sharper tools in the shedblacksheff405 is one of the sharper tools in the shedblacksheff405 is one of the sharper tools in the shedblacksheff405 is one of the sharper tools in the shedblacksheff405 is one of the sharper tools in the shedblacksheff405 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 97yota4wd View Post
awh dont be a jew, show the rest!

edit: awh dont be a damn canadian, show the rest!
x2
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Old 11-02-2011, 01:46 PM   #2714
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97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed97yota4wd is one of the sharper tools in the shed
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Quote:
Originally Posted by G scott04 View Post
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Old 11-02-2011, 01:48 PM   #2715
it's about the off-road miles
tacokid09 is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacokid09 is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacokid09 is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacokid09 is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacokid09 is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacokid09 is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacokid09 is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacokid09 is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacokid09 is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacokid09 is one of the sharper tools in the shedtacokid09 is one of the sharper tools in the shed
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 97yota4wd View Post
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Old 11-02-2011, 02:57 PM   #2716
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piercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shedpiercedtiger is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mjp2 View Post
And where the hell have you been?
Lurking quietly in the shadows.
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Old 11-02-2011, 07:42 PM   #2717
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Krazie Sj is one of the sharper tools in the shedKrazie Sj is one of the sharper tools in the shedKrazie Sj is one of the sharper tools in the shedKrazie Sj is one of the sharper tools in the shedKrazie Sj is one of the sharper tools in the shedKrazie Sj is one of the sharper tools in the shedKrazie Sj is one of the sharper tools in the shedKrazie Sj is one of the sharper tools in the shedKrazie Sj is one of the sharper tools in the shedKrazie Sj is one of the sharper tools in the shedKrazie Sj is one of the sharper tools in the shed
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mjp2 View Post
Dude, I can't believe you posted this! Our entire conversation was meant for your eyes only!
How many goddamn times do I have to tell you. Stop talking with your mouth full! Don't make me tell you again or you'll taste the back of my pimp hand!

Quote:
Originally Posted by 97yota4wd View Post
awh dont be a jew, show the rest!

edit: awh dont be a damn canadian, show the rest!
Fine, just for that jab here's some more. Eh...






























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