...and thats how the fight started.

got this in an e-mail the other day. thought i would share.

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a
> cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
>
> The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
>
> When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
>
> And that's how the fight started.....
>
>
> **************************************************
>
>
> My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?"
>
> I replied "Dust".
>
> And that's how the fight started.......
>
>
> **************************************************
>
>
> A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
>
> She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
>
> The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
>
> And that's how the fight started.....
>
>
> **************************************************
>
>
> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our
> upcoming anniversary.. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds..
>
> I bought her a scale.
>
> And that's how the fight started.....
>
>
> **************************************************
>
>
> I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
>
> It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
>
> 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
>
> So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
>
> And that's when the fight started......
>
>
> **************************************************
>
>
> My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
>
> 'No,' she answered.
>
> I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
>
> She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
>
> So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
>
> And that's when the fight started....
>
>
> **************************************************
> I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Bud Light for $14.95.
>
> Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95..
>
> I told her the beer would ma ke her look better at night than the cold cream.
>
> And that's when the fight started......
>
>
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
> reason, took my order first.
>
> 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
>
> He said, 'Aren't you worried about the ma d cow?'
>
> 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
>
> And that's when the fight started......
>
>
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
>
> Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, had
> some breakfast, and slipped quietly into the garage.
>
> With intentions of starting it in the street, I clicked the Harley into neutral, punched the garage door remote, and proceeded out into a torrential downpour.
>
> It was raining sideways since the wind was blowing 50 mph, so I backed her into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
>
> I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The
> weather out there is terrible."
>
> My loving wife replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out riding in that?"
>
> And that is when the fight started...
>
>
> __________________________________________________
>
>
> A ma n and a wo ma n were asleep at 3:00 am like two innocent babies... Suddenly, a loud noise came from outside.
>
> The wo ma n, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the ma n, "That must be my husband!"
>
> So the ma n jumped out of the bed scared and jumped naked out the window.. He landed in a thorn bush, and then ran to his car as fast as he could go..
>
> A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the wo ma n, "I AM your husband!"
>
> The wo ma n yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'
>
> And that's when the fight started....
>
>
> ***************************************************
>
>
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
>
> 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those ma ny years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
>
> 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
>
> And that's how the fight started.....
>
>
>