What Foods....

I guess but like 3 hours after eating it I get the worst stomach cramps and, well you know the rest.

 

LMFAO! this is the most funniest but most disgustingly thread!

 

Anything that is REALLY spicy. Anything else, I'm fine with

 

Just had the Taco Bell $5 box. Taco Bell usually isn't tooo bad on me.

 

Chinese food, and the choke n puke by justin sigmons!


also a burger joint named cubbies

 

Martinelli's sparkling cider works like draino on my guts, which sucks since the only time I would drink it was during Thanksgiving so all that good food I would eat found the express exit out of me.

Spicy mole sauce... OMFG, talk about toxic gas! Funny thing to, is that the stuff kinda plugs me up. But damn it percolates some of the most vile gas, which is great on a road trip with all your buddies packed into a truck on the way to go hunting.

 

white castle gives me the worst gas ever... doesnt blow through me... just lingers.... even my dog has smelled her own ass to make sure it wasnt her, got up, and walked away from me.

 

I've ate White Castle too..yeah, I remember eating it in Nashville, TN, then getting the farts almost immediately, then having to take a dump in a Subway in Asheville, NC. I was crapping so hard my legs were out straight in front of me and this little black kid comes in and wants in MY STALL. He tried to push the door open and I said, "Seats taken!" And he kept trying....stupid kid. I shoulda shit on him.

The Cinnamon Life struck a chord with me....me, my girlfriend and my roommate once each bought a box of Cracklin' Oat Bran. We had the Oat Bran Challenge...or maybe we called it the Bran-a-Thon...something like that. Anyway, we each ate an entire box of this cereal. I had to purge myself before I was even done with the 2nd bowl..so I lost. My roommate held out for about 6 hours then he crapped so hard...he kept yelling out of the bathroom, "My ass is dry heaving!" My girlfriend Heather...didnt bother her. She won.

I once had video of us lighting farts at deer camp...I'll try to find em...the best one is where one guy tried to force a fart out and ended up shitting on his own hand. Guess it happens sometimes. I was always kinda scared to light my own farts....afraid of a backdraft and I'd end up welding my butthole shut.

 

so tonight i was out with this girl who ive been talking to for a little while, went to b-dubs (buffalo wild wings) i had their buffalo ranch chicken sandwich. earlier today though, I had wendy's spicy chicken sand. between the 2 foods, about an hour later, i had to take the worst shit ever... my stomach was in knots, i didnt want to shit there cuz we were close to the bathroom and i didnt want to stink up everything. well... we get ready to go (after being there for another hour, by now, i got the peek-a-boo game going on), and theres a porta let at this construction site across the street. lucky for me we were not doing anything afterwards so i acted like i was leaving and hauled ass across the street, and got in that shitter, it was soooooooo fucking cold... but damnit, i ratted those walls pretty good.... haha and it left me soo dizzy i had to hold on to the rail that was in there. haha


just thought id share.

 

omfg dude... thats great. "my ass is dry heaving!" LMFAO!


Dennys... they dont call it the grand slam for no reason. i make sure i get a seat next to the rest room when i eat there!

 

fuckin pancakes(which i love GOD DAMNIT) and subway, so i just have to be careful

 

I have the total cast iron GI tract. Greasy, cheezy, fibery, meaty... whatever - BRING IT ON!
It all slides right through. I don't keep magazines in the bathroom, because I don't even have time to read an article.

 

WINGS. Especially really spicy ones...
i have to sleep on the toilet for the night

 

You chose a portashitter over a resturant bathroom? Ugh...not me man...I'd take the BWW shithouse over a jobsite portapot any day of the week. Nothing will spoil a portacrapper like a construction crew full of mexikins. Its like they think of fucked up shit to eat the night before so they can trash the pot the next morning before everybody else gets there.

Why didnt you just go to her house and shit there?? It'll show you're comfortable around her and girls love that.

Possum's Dating Tip #89: Always clean the splatter off the tank of the commode after having a blowout in a young lady's bathroom. Make sure all the kernels of corn go down the hole when you flush too. If you run out of toilet paper during an anal meltdown, cut the tops out of your socks and use them. Bury the evidence in the trash, because socks dont flush well. If you are one of those Teva sandal wearing homo's, dont worry about it, because you probably aren't with a girl anyway.

 

lol well... i hate shitting in public bathrooms... dont know why... just dont... the few times i did, i ripped off these monstrous farts.... it echoed so loud.... you would have that i was wrestling a demon in there. i had a few people staring at me when i walked out. lol

I will never shit at her house. haha had i taken the Browns to the super bowl there tonight, the toilet would have been clogged for sure.... hahaha

 

About the only thing that gets me is blue crab. I have no idea why, i can eat any other seafood/fish just fine. My old girlfriend used to say i have a cast iron stomach.

And since were telling stories, here is my funny one. My buddies dad used to catch blue crab in the chesapeake bay and bring them home and cook them that afternoon. well i went over there for lunch and then went deer hunting with my buddy after we ate. Walking through the woods the crab decided to come back, so my buddy went and sat down a bit away from me and i went and found a place to go. I put my rifle down about 6 feet away and squatted, when all of a sudden i hear crash crash crash. a deer popped out 60 yards from me and was looking at me. Needless to say I learned two things that day.
1. never leave your rifle just out of arms reach because something will show up
2. sleeves cut off a tee shirt make a great wiper

 

Recipie for disaster:

Pre load stomach with 2-3 lagers (for those of you not privy I'm referring to Yuengling Lager)

Insert 1 Hot italian sausage sandwhich with fried onions and peppers.

Wash down with 1-2 more lagers.

Steep in GI tract for 30 min to 2 hours (time varies depensign on person)

Find a suitable bathroom (preferably one you do not have to clean yourself) be sure there is adequate paperage. Get a couple magazines....commence with the colon cleansing smash of your life.

 

Any mexican food will tear me to shreads...Firey shits are the worst...And the bad thing is I love Mexican food, and my GF is Mexican. So thats all I eat...LOL