Who has the craziest ex-gf?

So my buddies and I were reminiscing the other day on horrible ex-girlfriends. Just for the sake of it we started comparing and it turns out I have the worst ex-gf from the bunch. I was hoping someone here could out do me. So here is the story:
After dating this chick for about three years things started going sour. We argued all the time and over everything, I mean everything. So I decided I would be the grown up, at the tender age of 18, and end it. So I did. First mistake, I broke up with her over the phone. Second mistake, I broke up with her on my lunch brake. Third mistake, she knew where I worked and what I drove obviously, but the mistake was that I let her have a spare key to my car. So about 15 mins after a broke up with her she’s at my center, in tears talking about “im gonna kill my self, can’t live without you…blah blah blah.” Keep in mind I was working, there were customers in the store, and I’m an assistant manager. I figured the best thing to do is ask her to step outside so we could speak like grown ups. I then began to explain to her what the reasons were behind my decision. I had forgotten two valuable lessons angry women. One, they don’t understand logic so don’t bother trying to explain things to them, and two they simply don’t give a fuck. After about 30 mins of going in circles is said enough is enough and decided to get back to work and threatened to call security if she followed me into the center. She sat there crying and I felt bad cuz at one point I actually cared about her but this quickly changed. I had walked inside and started helping a customer when I hear a car alarm go off that resembled mine very closely. I rushed to get the customer settled and walked outside to find my brand new Accord was a mess. This bitch keyed my car with my own key, took a box cutter I had in the car and started cutting up my leather seats and doors. Thank god the blade on the box cutter broke after she finished the driver door. Then she took a blade she got from god knows where and tried to slash my tires but instead gauged a piece of skin of her hand. Then she threatened to sue me because she was injured trying to fuck up my car. When I approached her she was sitting in the car bleeding all over my torn up seat. Then I asked, “Why are you doing this?” Her response, “I’m pregnant, but fuck you I’m not keeping it.” She shortly moved to San Fran and I was stuck with a $2300 repair bill. I never knew whether she was serious about the pregnancy but FML man I sure know how to pick them.
Anyways, anyone have anything better?

 

I have a ex who was riding with me in my truck and had a necklace on that I bought her for x-mas for $200. So I was taking her home and was wanting to brake up with her because I was liking this different girl. So I asked her if she was happy in this relationship and she caught on pretty quick got pissed started yelling and threw my necklace out the window! Lets just say we are no longer together. And I couldnt find the damn necklace

 

I'm friend's with most of my ex's. Those that i'm not friends we just don't talk. I don't date potentially crazy girls

 

Pass the Popcorn. This could be an Epic thread.

 

Psycho bitches seem to flock to me, it's weird.

 

Here have some of mine: Im waiting and watching as well

 

X2 when I get home I'll share my stories it takes to long to type on my phone

 

lol... funny this came up... My best friend broke up with his now ex back in august. Now 7 months later, she is still calling him and she plays this game where she lures him out of the bar, then to drive her home, then to come inside and so on and so on. Well finally realizing this shit had to stop he said no and stuck to his guns. Mind you we are at a bar right behind the police dept that my fiance works at and is owned by one of the officers father. So saying no started getting a little repetative he began to get loud telling her she had to leave and he wants dealing with this. She flips the fuck out, punches him twice in the face... he in turn grabs her arms to keep from getting punched. That bitch could hit. Well she begins to scream, and i quote "Let the fuck go of my arms I'm gonna beat the shit out of you". I step between them trying to cool shit down and get her to leave and i get hit from behind. Some "hero saw bits of this issue go down and thought he hit her and jumped my buddy from behind... long story short the 7 cops we were chillen with sent this "hero" on his way.... Now everyone that was there call my buddy Snookie

 

Woke up one morning with 36 new text messages...
BUT DAMN!
YOUR EX IS A HEARTLESS CRAZY HOOPLAH!

 

I was dating one girl about a year ago, she has a son that was 3 while we were going out, which i really was ok with. I mean my buddy has 2 kids that I love to death and would do anything for, so point is I like kids. But anyway after we were together about 3 months she says "so are you ready to be a daddy?" I'm like woahhhh there, way to fast, and plus the kid still has a real daddy. I decide to stick it out for a while longer but everything starts focusing on the kid. She asks me to pick him up from daycare and stuff basically asking me to be a full time father.

So a few weeks later I decide to break things off. I did it over the phone, then went to meet up and talk. Basically a big mistake, I thought i was just gonna give her some stuff back and bail.. Three hours later I can't get her out of my truck and I wanna go home. Once I finally leave she continually texts and calls me to find out what I'm doing. After about a week she starts showing up at the bar I usually hang out at (about 45 min drive for her). Starts talking to my other girl friends (platonic girlfriends) to find out how to get me back. My friends tell her that I cheated on her, found someone else, basically everything to throw her off from me.... BUT IT DIDN"T WORK!! over a year later I still get texts asking if i still think about her.

 

Another girl I went out not so much crazy to me but crazy in general.... She was engaged to one of my friends and they split it off when he enlisted and went to boot camp. I checked with him and went out with her for about 6 months while he was at boot camp/training. When he came back we broke up and they got married (understandable). He deployed a few months later and she came back to me, I turned her down cuz I mean she's married to my friend. About 5 months of marriage they file for divorce.

and before I know it she's engaged again... then engaged again to someone else... then again to someone else. I shit you guys not, she's 20 years old now and has been married once, and engaged to 3 other guys.

 

mmmmmm

Who needs some....

 

My ex spent 2 years in greystone (a phyic hospital) before i met her.

 

HAHA, Pass the pop corn

 

I was parked at work and my girlfriend decided to 'personalize' my taco. She took a can of spray paint to my tailgate and drew a big penis. Now, I don't always check my tailgate, so I had no idea this was there. So I get to my apartment, and she's waiting there for me like she normally does. She acts like nothing is wrong. I hug and kiss her and she tells me she loves me. Things seem to be going well.

This is when she makes her first mistake. She tells me she has to leave early 'so she can get some extra studying done' for who knows what. I believe her (I have no reason not to at this point). Well about 4 hours later at 11 or so that night, I get a call from a friend who says he saw my girl with three other guys walking downtown and stuff. This kinda pisses me off. I decide to hop in my truck and go calmly check things out.

When I got downtown, I called my friend back. He told me where he last saw her (a tattoo place) so that's where I go first. When I got near the tattoo shop, I noticed her walking down the street with those three guys, holding one of the guys hands. Even worse, she has a tattoo on her back (her shirt is rolled up). I couldn't tell what it was. Regardless, I was pissed now. I hit my accelerator and gun my truck right up past them and stop in front of them.

I hop out of my truck and run out to confront them. The three guys start laughing at my tailgate...(hmm I wonder why). Well that's when I first saw the big penis my gf had spray painted. Now I'm beyond pissed. She's laughing. The guys crack a few jokes. Not cool. She then tells me she's not a virgin anymore. That was it. I hopped in my truck and never looked back. Whew.

Haha not really. I haven't had that bad of luck.