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Kids entering college today...

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by Evil Monkey, Aug 20, 2010.

  1. Aug 20, 2010 at 9:13 AM
    #1
    Evil Monkey

    Evil Monkey [OP] There's an evil monkey in my truck

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    Here's a list to help you feel old:

    For kids entering college today...
    1. Few in the class know how to write in cursive.
    2. Email is just too slow, and they seldom if ever use snail mail.
    3. “Go West, Young College Grad” has always implied “and don’t stop until you get to Asia…and learn Chinese along the way.”
    4. Al Gore has always been animated.
    5. Los Angelenos have always been trying to get along.
    6. Buffy has always been meeting her obligations to hunt down Lothos and the other blood-suckers at Hemery High.
    7. “Caramel macchiato” and “venti half-caf vanilla latte” have always been street corner lingo.
    8. With increasing numbers of ramps, Braille signs, and handicapped parking spaces, the world has always been trying harder to accommodate people with disabilities.
    9. Had it remained operational, the villainous computer HAL could be their college classmate this fall, but they have a better chance of running into Miley Cyrus’s folks on Parents’ Weekend.
    10. A quarter of the class has at least one immigrant parent, and the immigration debate is not a big priority…unless it involves “real” aliens from another planet.
    11. John McEnroe has never played professional tennis.
    12. Clint Eastwood is better known as a sensitive director than as Dirty Harry.
    13. Their parents and teachers feared that Beavis and Butt-head might be the voice of a lost generation.
    14. Doctor Kevorkian has never been licensed to practice medicine.
    15. Colorful lapel ribbons have always been worn to indicate support for a cause.
    16. Korean cars have always been a staple on American highways.
    17. Trading Chocolate the Moose for Patti the Platypus helped build their Beanie Baby collection.
    18. Fergie is a pop singer, not a princess.
    19. They never twisted the coiled handset wire aimlessly around their wrists while chatting on the phone.
    20. DNA fingerprinting and maps of the human genome have always existed.
    21. Woody Allen, whose heart has wanted what it wanted, has always been with Soon-Yi Previn.
    22. Cross-burning has always been deemed protected speech.
    23. Leasing has always allowed the folks to upgrade their tastes in cars.
    24. “Cop Killer” by rapper Ice-T has never been available on a recording.
    25. Leno and Letterman have always been trading insults on opposing networks.
    26. Unless they found one in their grandparents’ closet, they have never seen a carousel of Kodachrome slides.
    27. Computers have never lacked a CD-ROM disk drive.
    28. They’ve never recognized that pointing to their wrists was a request for the time of day.
    29. Reggie Jackson has always been enshrined in Cooperstown.
    30. “Viewer Discretion” has always been an available warning on TV shows.
    31. The first computer they probably touched was an Apple II; it is now in a museum.
    32. Czechoslovakia has never existed.
    33. Second-hand smoke has always been an official carcinogen.
    34. “Assisted Living” has always been replacing nursing homes, while Hospice has always been an alternative to hospitals.
    35. Once they got through security, going to the airport has always resembled going to the mall.
    36. Adhesive strips have always been available in varying skin tones.
    37. Whatever their parents may have thought about the year they were born, Queen Elizabeth declared it an “Annus Horribilis.”
    38. Bud Selig has always been the Commissioner of Major League Baseball.
    39. Pizza jockeys from Domino’s have never killed themselves to get your pizza there in under 30 minutes.
    40. There have always been HIV positive athletes in the Olympics.
    41. American companies have always done business in Vietnam.
    42. Potato has always ended in an “e” in New Jersey per vice presidential edict.
    43. Russians and Americans have always been living together in space.
    44. The dominance of television news by the three networks passed while they were still in their cribs.
    45. They have always had a chance to do community service with local and federal programs to earn money for college.
    46. Nirvana is on the classic oldies station.
    47. Children have always been trying to divorce their parents.
    48. Someone has always gotten married in space.
    49. While they were babbling in strollers, there was already a female Poet Laureate of the United States.
    50. Toothpaste tubes have always stood up on their caps.
    51. Food has always been irradiated.
    52. There have always been women priests in the Anglican Church.
    53. J.R. Ewing has always been dead and gone. Hasn’t he?
    54. The historic bridge at Mostar in Bosnia has always been a copy.
    55. Rock bands have always played at presidential inaugural parties.
    56. They may have assumed that parents’ complaints about Black Monday had to do with punk rockers from L.A., not Wall Street.
    57. A purple dinosaur has always supplanted Barney Google and Barney Fife.
    58. Beethoven has always been a dog.
    59. By the time their folks might have noticed Coca Cola’s new Tab Clear, it was gone.
    60. Walmart has never sold handguns over the counter in the lower 48.
    61. Presidential appointees have always been required to be more precise about paying their nannies’ withholding tax, or else.
    62. Having hundreds of cable channels but nothing to watch has always been routine.
    63. Their parents’ favorite TV sitcoms have always been showing up as movies.
    64. The U.S, Canada, and Mexico have always agreed to trade freely.
    65. They first met Michelangelo when he was just a computer virus.
    66. Galileo is forgiven and welcome back into the Roman Catholic Church.
    67. Ruth Bader Ginsburg has always sat on the Supreme Court.
    68. They have never worried about a Russian missile strike on the U.S.
    69. The Post Office has always been going broke.
    70. The artist formerly known as Snoop Doggy Dogg has always been rapping.
    71. The nation has never approved of the job Congress is doing.
    72. One way or another, “It’s the economy, stupid” and always has been.
    73. Silicone-gel breast implants have always been regulated.
    74. They’ve always been able to blast off with the Sci-Fi Channel.
    75. Honda has always been a major competitor on Memorial Day at Indianapolis.
     
  2. Aug 20, 2010 at 9:18 AM
    #2
    1337Taco

    1337Taco Well-Known Member

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    NorCal
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    Some are true. In my area everyone can still write in cursive. They teach it in elementary school.
     
  3. Aug 20, 2010 at 9:19 AM
    #3
    steve o 77

    steve o 77 braaap

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    In a corn field, OH
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    245k+ miles, rust, working AC, bald eagles
    x2. I still know how, even though its useless.
     
  4. Aug 20, 2010 at 9:21 AM
    #4
    Evil Monkey

    Evil Monkey [OP] There's an evil monkey in my truck

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Robert
    Escondido, CA
    Vehicle:
    07 4x4 DC SR5 TRD Off-road
    Weathertech front & rear mats, rear suspension TSB, Toytec AAL for TSB, Hi-Lift Jack, Bilstein 5100 & Toytec Adjustable coilovers, Built Right UCAs, KMC XD 795 Hoss Wheels, Definity Dakota MTs 285/75R16, Leer XR, Thule Tracker II & Thule MOAB basket
    Yeah, I never do it unless it's to sign my name. Probably what it should say is they never had to write a paper in cursive.

    They're taken from the Beliot list:
    http://www.beloit.edu/mindset/
     
  5. Aug 20, 2010 at 9:23 AM
    #5
    steve o 77

    steve o 77 braaap

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    Gender:
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    First Name:
    Steven
    In a corn field, OH
    Vehicle:
    1990 Chevy Siveraydo
    245k+ miles, rust, working AC, bald eagles
    Oh and we didn't get a computer with one till I was about 10. It was all about the floppy disk. lol
     
  6. Aug 20, 2010 at 9:25 AM
    #6
    Evil Monkey

    Evil Monkey [OP] There's an evil monkey in my truck

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2007
    Member:
    #2352
    Messages:
    8,262
    Gender:
    Male
    First Name:
    Robert
    Escondido, CA
    Vehicle:
    07 4x4 DC SR5 TRD Off-road
    Weathertech front & rear mats, rear suspension TSB, Toytec AAL for TSB, Hi-Lift Jack, Bilstein 5100 & Toytec Adjustable coilovers, Built Right UCAs, KMC XD 795 Hoss Wheels, Definity Dakota MTs 285/75R16, Leer XR, Thule Tracker II & Thule MOAB basket
    I didn't get one until I was 30. My roommate paid $600 for a NEC x2 speed with a disk caddy. And nowadays, netbooks come without CD-Roms.
     
  7. Aug 20, 2010 at 9:45 AM
    #7
    Pugga

    Pugga Pasti-Dip Free 1983 - 2015... It was a good run

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    F-250 Land Yacht Mod
    What's kind of sad is I'm only 26 and some of that stuff made me feel old!
     

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