Ok so here is my attempt to vent whatever bs emotion I am feeling right now. Its like midnight and I dont feel like calling any girl over and getting all emotional with them so I turn to TW. My dad has cancer, has for a while and mutiple diffrent kinds. He is currently in town on buisness and I saw him today and he said the Doc said he is fine, no kemo needed. Just got off the phone with my brother and apparently it is quiet the opposite. He was supposed to start kemo over a month ago and that would give him a 45 percent chance to make it. This dude put off kemo to go on a buisness trip. I am pissed, he was diagnosed while I was deployed and told the family not to tell me, now he is literaly dying and wont tell me or listen to the docs. Mom isnt strong and probably wont make it long without him so in my point of veiw he is being selfish as fuck. My dad and I are the same. We are very black and white, stubborn people. I love him to death. I was a horrable kid. I stole sold drugs ect. He stuck with me, even rented an apartment and moved out of his house to stay with me and keep the family away from my bs instead of having me locked up again. I turned around, my career is fast tracking and Its all due to him and his morals and work ethic. I try every day to make up for the part of his life I pissed away 15 years ago. I cant help to be pissed though. Why the fuck wont he just listen to the docs, its almost like he is tapping out. He wont stop smoking or drinking. He wont talk about anything with me (its a waste of time between deployments he says). Im at a loss here. He worked all of his life and now that one son is a lawyer and I am a soldier and we are both self sefficent he gives up. Im lost here and can only feel mad. How fucked up is this.
ps sorry for the spelling I have had a few tonight