Breast Cancer

She has a lot to go through but hopefully she's got a lot of fight in her. I hope she surprises the doctor and goes way past the 5 year mark too. I know this has to be taking a toll on you. Just remember you have to take care of yourself too or you won't be able to do her any good.

 

SORRY to hear about your. My wife-42, died recently from colon cancer stage 4, don't know the stage your mom is at. But we never would have done chemo had we done more research and not rely on the Oncologist only.

 

Sorry for last post-too quick just reread. The chemo will do more harm at this point. We listened and believed the hope doctor gave us, well she spent precious months dealing with that poison. The moment she started chemo-understand stage 4 is metasis - her life was over. The weekend before treatment started we had gone on a 15 mile bike ride. Also, she was running everyday. She was in pain but alive. Chemo started, she was tied to the couch. I can't emphasize how much that crap destroyed her life. I had to carry her to the car just to go get her treatments. Watch how the nurses handle chemo-special gloves. We put all plans on hold-believe me when I tell you I-she would've traded just a month or 2 living and not dying like that.

 

sounds like you need to calm down buddy..I know ALOT of people who had chemo, and they are still living..Both my parents to name 2 people. As much as it sucks to hear that your wife passed, its no reason to blame chemo. Im sure the DR's told you whats going to happen when she was on it, correct? I will agree that the chemo does make you slow and tired, but its only for a short while..

You also said your wife was at stage 4, which means chemo wasnt going to help anyways..it was just delaying the inevitable

also MM...you and yours are in my prayers

 

I guess you did not read the post where misslemans' moms results are stage 4. Its in her bones. It's great your parents survived.
As far as Drs-they tell you her only hope is chemo, and then maybe 2 yrs. Unrealistic as it was. Your'e not correct-I am calm.
The week before she died we spoke with the Oncologist-she told us Louise would see her next week.
A nurse who had known Louise from day 1 pulled me aside and told me the Oncologist was not being fair to us, Louise did not have the months the Dr claimed she had-she was sobbing as she told me this. So, I bring her home, we decided to quit the chemo-then you go to hospice care. That nurse who came to our home, said she had days. She died 4 days later.
All I'm saying is you can't blindly trust what the drs tell you. Also, chemo for stage 4 is not very nice. Completely different from other stages.
Also, anyone here a stage 4 survivoir? More than a year? Don't think so.

 

well i kinda skimmed it, so if I missed it, im sorry. I didnt mean to come across as a dick, but most people are so mis informed on cancer its unbelieveable.

 

You are very correct-who really wants to know about cancer.
Louise was 41, lived till 42. An extremely strong vibrant woman. So, when dr said this was our only hope-you take it, if anyone can beat it Louise will.
She was also on morphine for the pain-opiate drug addicts are constipated. Shuts down the colon, well she had colon cancer and became constipated. Not a good combo. I won't get into the graphics of severe constipation, she said she'd rather have 10 children at 1x.
I ask dr, any other drugs she can take that will kill the pain. She had already done the vicodine, oxycotin-didn't help. Dr Didn't mention marijuna. I brought up with Dr, dr can't condone it. Louise would'nt take anything illegal. So, she stopped eating-constipation problem eliminated.
What happens when you don't eat. I took her morphine pills and threw them in trash, got her some marijuna-pain relief instantaneous. Her fear of food could not be overcome.
You are also correct, her days were numbered. I believe she would've got some good months of living without the drugs.
Ask a dr about nutrition-they have no clue.
I put my faith in the nurses who deal with this personally. Sorry for the rant, but I would've appreciated someone ranting at us. And this is very fresh in my mind.
So, I know way too much about cancer now. A coworker of mine had/has stage3 colon cancer. He's been okay for a few yrs, he did not need morphine. His drugs were and treatment method different.

 

While I respect your opinion and certainly offer my condolensces on losing your wife, I think we should use this forum to support Jim and his family. Obviously the family has decided which course they are going to follow so we need to support their decision and while not offer false hopes let them know we're all praying for them and hope for the best results.

 

agreed it sounds rough, but id like to be informed about cancer as much as I can, so I know whats going on with my body

 

best wishes jim...sorry to hear the bad news.

 

I'm so sorry Jim. My prayers are with your family and your Mom. Big hugs to you too!

 

goodluck man thoughts are with u and ur family

 

I generally don't reply to posts but this time I will. Survivor? Does 16 years count? I was diagnosed stage 4 non-Hodgkin lymphoma in Feb 1993. Went through 8 intensive chemo treatments. I also had both large and small cell lymphoma. I will tell you that having a positive attitude and taking it one day at a time, will go a long way for your mom, MM. After the chemo treatments, cancer was in remission but in 1994, I had a Bone Marrow Transplant. If you're not familiar with a BMT, google it. I was in Seattle the summer of '94.
One can never generalize when dealing with cancer. There are survivors out there . . . my thoughts and prayers are with you, you Mom and family, MM

 

Thank you very much! Your story is very encouraging.
Alot of people have PM'd me asking about my mom. I can't tell you how much those PMs have meant to me.
Next week, my mom will get her third chemo treatment. She is very tired, she is losing weight and she wants to quit the chemo because she hates the way it makes her feel. I try to encourage her that it's almost over and that we need to press on. But I'm not in her shoes and have no idea what she's really going through. I often wonder if she would be happier if she just stopped the treatment. Ya know, what really gets me (this is going to sound very mean) is the fact that she is a good woman that is always trying her best to help others. Then you have somebody like my Ex-Wife who abuses drugs, shits on people and has no feelings for anybody except herself. She is alive and still kicking when after all she's done to herself, she should be dead. Why not my ex? Why does she get the free ride? It goes to show you how unfair life can be.

 

I've asked that question about a million times after I lost my older sister to that BEAST 3 1/2 years ago - she was only 47. She was a good person as well - never did drugs, gave to anyone who needed a hand, didn't drink, etc....

Hope your mom keeps on fighting... she CAN beat this beast. Keep on giving your support and Love.

 

Our Oconlogist was praying Louise had lymphoma based cancer.
16 Years does count, good for you. All I'm saying is you can't blindly follow a doctors advice, and you have to learn a lot in a short period of time and hope nothing is missed.

 

You're absolutely right. And I've seen the other side of cancer as well but was somewhat hesitate in mentioning it. 10 years to the month from when I was diagnosed, my wife of 32 years was diagnosed with stage 4 Adenocarcinoma - non-smoker lung cancer. She battled it for 1 1/2 years until she passed July 2nd, 2004. It'll be 5 years and I still miss her. So why did I survived and she didn't? That's a question I don't have an answer for.

 

Our prayers will be with your, MM. Hope your mother will get better soon, and may the Good Lord be with y'all. God bless.

 

Just found this thread Jim, ya'll will be in my prayers bro!!