just got out of the psychiatric ward ICU

I suffer from depression and anxiety. it affects me pretty bad somedays. I recently had family problems and wanted to commit suicide. I went as far as writing suicide notes for my parents, wife and 3 year old son. I called the suicide crisis hotline. I was at the point where I couldn't take living anymore. but I was in the right mind to head to the ER and tell them I was feeling suicidal. they admitted me and transported me to the psychiatric ward ICU (the funny farm) I'm also a cutter and cut my arm up pretty good again.

I deleted my facebook and intsagram so I have no real contact through social media. These days I have no friends anymore. I see them maybe once every two months. so I have my family. I want to spend more time with them but I work full time and wish I could just quit and hang out with my wife and son more

anyway, that is my story. I'm better now, my life seems a lot more brighter now. I'm thankful to be alive and breathing. so if anyone is suffering out there please get help. life is precious and shouldn't be taken for granted. thank you for listening.

Eric

 

Glad to hear you are doing better, and thanks for sending out the words of encouragement to other sufferers. There is hope out there, as long as you keep trying. Stick with it, and continue to help others when you can.

 

I feel ya dude! ive been there n done that! 41 years old...it gets better but itll get bad first. At least you were bein proactive in goin to the er. Best of luck!

 

Stay strong brutha! Nothing like some TW support.

 

Think about all the positive things you have to live for. Also, you have a little boy. He's going to need his daddy around. I hope and pray you will get through this and see exactly how many people need you and depend on you on a daily basis. Your son needs you, who is going to teach him to drive? Who is going to throw a baseball with him? Who is going to have the "talk" with him? Who is going to tear his ass apart when you catch him smoking out back one day? Who is going to teach him how to fix things? Who is going to teach him to love and respect his mommy like she is the only woman on earth? Nobody is going to do any of the above like daddy will.. You sir are needed. He needs you, your wife needs you, everyone around you needs you. If you ever just feel like venting pm me I'll give you my number, I'll listen.

 

I hope that someone on TW near you could be a friend and help you with your project.

 

Very close to the heart subject for me. You are to be congratulated that you came to the realization and sought help before it was too late. That is a lesson to many of us. In most cases the person hurting sends out lots of signals and signs they have lost hope and approaching the crisis point. Even if they don't intend too. It would behoove all of us to play close attention to our friends, families and co-workers. Everyone should do a google search on crisis prevention and you will learn some of the common signs to watch for. They require us to attend an annual refresher briefing on it where I work.

Then take the initiative and push, pull, drag the friend to someone that can help, whether they go along with it or not. Let the professional determine if it is real or not.

 

Eric,
I'm glad you got the help and are man enough to face it. I'm a Medical Examiner (coincidently in San Diego) and I unfortunately see the aftermath of this on a daily basis. The toughest part is explaining the actions taken to the surviving friends and family. This is especially true to young children. Simply saying "I'll always love you" in a note won't really help them later on as they faced challenges in life that only you can help them with. Does that make sense? Let's just say that I'm glad I did not meet you and or your family this time. PM me if you wanna talk.

 

thank you so much. I'm glad you didn't get to see me either. yes leaving a note isn't enough to raise children. I never once thought about the feelings of others now I know I can never take my own life. My family needs me as much as I need them.

 

You're welcome, now go drive that kickass truck of yours with the windows down, music blaring and enjoy your life!!!!

 

I am no therapist by any means but my best advice is to find friends who will encourage and support you. Get involved with a support group and whenever you are around anyone who attempts to make fun or try to humiliate you, do away with them. They are not your friends.

 

I have suffered from anxiety my whole life..when I was in elementary school was first time I wanted to commit suicide. I didn't want my anxiety to become an inconvenience to the ones I loved..felt like the most reasonable thing to do. I have such bad anxiety that I don't have friends except for the brotherhood of Tacomaworld. So bad that becoming social anxiety to point of cant eat in public. I know its hard brother but you have to find what makes you happy and most comfortable..all other things including relationships will work them self out..I lost my wife and little girl all to my anxiety..she left said I was mental and didn't want our child to turn out like me..it hurts brother ..I know all too well. Get your mind off everything and take a mental vacation..even if you have to go fishing daily..or wash your truck..I promise everything will work out..best therapist there is, is yourself...only you can make yourself happy and calm yourself down..praying for you..hang in there..talk and walk it out with God. Have a journal..write down your day..plan everything out so there is no anxiety. You got this brother i believe in you

 

sorry about your family. I am blessed my wife sticks it out with me. I am very thankful to be alive. I know it will get bad again someday but must stay strong for my family. Thank you for sharing.

 

Man you may think you don't have friends but hey on TW you are family man.

 

Keep fighting it takes time

 

Keeping reaching out!
Good peeps here with help lift you up.

 

Hang in there.

 

I dated a girl in high school and we were together for 6 years (until several years of college) Memorial day after she graduated from high school her mother hung herself in her parents bedroom. The most tramadic experience I have ever had, I was 2 years younger than her but it changed her life FOREVER. She was already accepted in college and was well on her way but this just changed everything. Needless to say she never could pick herself up and get to college or move on from this and it has ruined her life and relationships for years. She would often resort to saying she should kill herself years later when we would have dissagreements and long story short after about 2-3 years of that I couldn't take it anymore and had to more on. I often wonder what she has done with her life now but her mom doing such a selfish act and having 4 kids left behind always angered me beyond belief.

On another note my wife's father shot himself a year before we met. We were already together for awhile and pretty serious until I found this out and I can see it really hurts those around you forever as they go on through life not having that person around. When we got married it broke my heart that she had no one to walk her down the asle and when me and my mother had our dance she had no father to dance with.

I pray you will never resort to this action. I send many prayers for you and your family man and hope you always lean on God to help you through.

 

This^^^

Eric,
I am so glad that you made the right decisions at the worse time in your life. I am from a family that has seen too many suicides, my dad and uncle included. It did not resolve any problems for the people left behind, on the contrary, made it very difficult. At first I was mad at my dad for doing it, but then later I started understanding what he was going through, and realize that it must have been the most lonely shittiest time in his life. He needed help and support that was not there for him at the time.
I am 43 now and I sometimes feel down and think about just ending it, but realize through my experience that it is not the way to go. I too have children to raise. It keeps me going. I try to focus on the good in life. It is not easy, as you know, so I don't have to preach to you about that.
I am just glad that you made the right decisions, and hope that you keep doing that. Also, glad that you shared here on TW. This is truely a family (something that my wife does not understand ) You sharing here has the potential of touching so many lives, maybe even saving some. You will never know for sure, but believe that you can touch lives every day and support others who are going through the same struggles.
Enjoy your family, and raise that boy well!
Thanks for sharing bud!

 

I feel for you, my wife has depressions and refused help, that finally led to me and her going through a divorce right now
I also noticed that she can't think straight at all...alot of her actions and thought process makes no sense and she doesn't think a minute about the feeling of others. I fought a long time and offered any support I can, but there's only so much I can do. She thinks living by herself will make her happy...I truly think it will make it alot worse. Me and her mother tried all we could but she refuses any help especially professional help! It started to drag me down and I won't let this happen.

Keep focusing on the positive, end your day with 3 postive things that you did/observed today - that helped me a lot. Enjoy every day.

Luckily we have no kids, but it still makes me sad to see her go down that path