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Old 03-27-2010, 01:00 AM   #1
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So my girlfriend is.....

Yep thats right, pregnant. Crap situation, we dated a few months and she decided she was to busy to date 5 weeks ago, between getting over her ex, school and stuff she said time wasn't right. Well hadn't talked to her in 5 weeks and yesterday hit me up saying we need to chat. Turns out she is pregnant and had an abortion scheduled for today. Well we chatted for a long time and she came to the conclusion she doesn't want to raise another child without a dad involved in her life (she currently has a 6 yo daughter). Well talked to her to postpone abortion for 2 weeks so we can chat and meet with pastor of my church. She was very torn up by everything and that is why she eventually contacted me. She said yesterday she wishes she would of contacted me sooner to help with decisions of the situation. Currently we are looking at everything this next week or two and the idea of us being together instead of other options. I am not opposed to a long term option (marriage if she thinks she is ready, but I don't want to be that couple with a crap marriage that gets together just because of a kid) She is 31 and I am 27. She seems to have most of her ducks in a row these days.
I ask for prayers for this situation.
If you have any questions or advice please feel free to suggest.
Thank you to everyone here!
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Old 03-27-2010, 01:08 AM   #2
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Not to sound rude, but you haven't talked to the girl in 5 weeks, how do you know the child is even yours?

It's a tough situation, but don't get yourself married if you don't want to be with her or if she doesn't want to be with you. That will only lead to more problems and even worse for the kid.

If there is no way of convincing her to keep the child and it is yours then are you opposed to raising the kid on your own? If neither of you want the child go adoption over abortion.
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Old 03-27-2010, 01:12 AM   #3
wo ai ni bao bei ^_^
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paternity test bro
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Old 03-27-2010, 01:14 AM   #4
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Good luck in whatever decision you make. Don't let anyone else but you and her decide the path you are going to take. Consider what you feel is right and discuss that with her. Ultimately you both have to live with your decision.

Thoughts and prayers to you and your ex
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Old 03-27-2010, 01:17 AM   #5
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I carefully asked, she went to hawaii for 3 weeks with her family and daughter a week after we separated, she said she found out right before hawaii. I know believe me I asked carefully if I was the babies father (feel weird saying that). I am always a skeptic of these things, known of friends worked over by gfs saying that they are pregnant to get the boyfriend to stay, as for me raising the baby, a hard deal, but yes, option. Should I demand a paternity test? I do feel 99% comfortable of her saying it is mine (I am usually careful of people). She claims that I am 100% of the babies father... Sooo..... Try to see if things "work" next couple weeks???? Just going with the flow and try to demand custody if it is mine and raise it (dono what sex it is yet 9 weeks)????

And if we can make a nice relationship work????
Argh.. Not what I had in my mind for life... But hey when is the last time life went as planned?
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Old 03-27-2010, 01:18 AM   #6
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She is up for seeing about dating now, and for the 3 of us chatting with my pastor next week.... He is a pretty good dude. and her ex was on the other side of the country so know he wasnt around and like I said based on my questions and knowing her best friend I am pretty sure its mine...
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Old 03-27-2010, 01:21 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by akwagon View Post
I carefully asked, she went to hawaii for 3 weeks with her family and daughter a week after we separated, she said she found out right before hawaii. I know believe me I asked carefully if I was the babies father (feel weird saying that). I am always a septic of these things, known of friends worked over by gfs saying that they are pregnant to get the boyfriend to stay, as for me raising the baby, a hard deal, but yes, option. Should I demand a paternity test? I do feel 99% comfortable of her saying it is mine (I am usually careful of people). She claims that I am 100% of the babies father... Sooo..... Try to see if things "work" next couple weeks???? Just going with the flow and try to demand custody if it is mine and raise it (dono what sex it is yet 9 weeks)????
Not sure what sewage has to do with anything but if you say so

But jokes aside, you are going to have a hard time getting full custody and there's nothing you can do to make her give birth to the child. The only way you will get full custody is if she signs the papers saying she wants nothing to do with the kid.

If you can actually make the relationship work, great. But if not then life won't be easy but hopefully the two of you can stay civil with one another.
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Old 03-27-2010, 03:33 AM   #8
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I'll keep your situation in my prayers.

Sounds like you have a really good head on your shoulders. Well you asked, so, IMO, If she went out and got pregnant by someone else, she would more than likely choose you over them. Without a doubt I would want a check to be sure it was mine. If you hadn't thrown in the part that you had not talked for 5 weeks, I would not have said this.

My wonderful momma always told me not to trust women when it comes to stuff like this, and that is coming from the only woman that has never let me down.

Again, my thoughts and prayers are with you in this tough situation.
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Old 03-27-2010, 05:16 AM   #9
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Sending you & all involved prayers!
Very difficult situation but agree to with Ben & others on getting a p test done. If she has her act together like she says she does, she would not balk at the test.
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Old 03-27-2010, 05:24 AM   #10
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prayers sent, thats a tough situation brother. It sounds like youre definately doing right by her, thats rare to see these days.
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Old 03-27-2010, 05:35 AM   #11
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My thoughts are with ya. Hope all turns out well.
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Old 03-27-2010, 06:15 AM   #13
TRIFECTA!!!
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I saw this in an after school special once.....

Seriously though, She is open to something, other wise she would have used the coathanger, gone on her own way and not told you about it.
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Old 03-27-2010, 06:25 AM   #14
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Good luck dealing with this situation.

Also, FYI, I just saved a ton of money on my child support by switching to condoms.
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Old 03-27-2010, 06:29 AM   #15
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Wow she sounds like a winner. And by winner I mean deadbeat of course.
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Old 03-27-2010, 06:29 AM   #16
TRIFECTA!!!
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Since we are on the subject, I will use this inappropriate time to unleash my joke:
They make a morning after pill for men - It changes your blood type!

Ta da!!
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Old 03-27-2010, 06:36 AM   #17
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Prayers here also bro; a tough situation, went through a similar deal 35 years ago when abortions were much more rare...tried to marry the girl to keep the baby, we couldn't work things out, mid term abortion was performed, of which I regretfully was a part of(in agreement/finances)...didn't think it would bother me that much, haunted me for years...I had to accept full responsibility for my role in all this and now have peace...may this work out for the best...
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Old 03-27-2010, 08:07 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by XSB41 View Post
Prayers here also bro; a tough situation, went through a similar deal 35 years ago when abortions were much more rare...tried to marry the girl to keep the baby, we couldn't work things out, mid term abortion was performed, of which I regretfully was a part of(in agreement/finances)...didn't think it would bother me that much, haunted me for years...I had to accept full responsibility for my role in all this and now have peace...may this work out for the best...
you have a powerful testimony Rik! Thanks for sharing it where it may help others.
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Old 03-27-2010, 08:34 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fletch aka View Post
My .02, don't go with the abortion. If you guys can't work it out as a couple consider adoption. Lots of people out there looking to adopt. Thoughts and prayers for you three.
Quoted for truth.
Hope every thing works uot for you. Prayers sent.
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Old 03-27-2010, 08:53 AM   #20
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!!!!!I hope you keep the BABY!!!

I'm 44 now I had one baby at 34 girl !!! and a boy at 37 !!!! it was tuff but it all worked out great!! the baby will bring you so much joy!! I wish you all the luck!! And I'll pray for you!!
Jessman
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