Tacomaworld.com Writing Challenge!

4x2 doesnt even drive a taco, instant disqual.

 

you owned a jeep.....so yea.... you've been disqualified.

 

Stale spark plug write ups don't count, although I admire your recycling ethos.

 

Sub'd

Got something in mind for this.

 

So there I was, browsing Craigslist for a new vehicle, as my 1995 Buick Regal had been towed away to the junkyard on its last ride to meet its untimely demise. She was a good car, a smooth car; its seats were bound with leather, its carpet reeked of an old man’s Paul Mall 100 cigarettes. Alas, all good things must come to an end, and so I waved goodbye to my first car. I’ll never forget that plum purple 1995 Buick Regal.
To get back on topic, there I was, searching Craigslist for a new vehicle. I did not know where to start, but I knew I wanted a truck, something that bled manliness and breathed fury, a truck that would certainly make the ladies say, “Hey, that’s a truck I’d like to ride in.” I knew I did not want anything too excessive, as to lead to false assumptions of my lack of endowment in my nether-region. I wanted something small, but fierce. Compact, but rugged. After scrolling passed countless ads to meet up for random sex, I had narrowed my search down to Ford Rangers, Jeep Wranglers, Nissan Frontiers, and Toyota Tacomas. Being a young adult male with slight common sense and half of a college degree under my belt, I ruled out Ford, as I did not, and to this day, still do not enjoy walking on the shoulder of the road with my thumb in the air like some dead-beat hooker with unresolved father issues. After much consideration, counseling from various gurus in the mechanical arts, I had been stuck with three choices, a three pronged fork in the road, if you will. I needed to decide if I wanted to be seen by my peers driving a Nissan Frontier, a Jeep Wrangler, or a Toyota Tacoma. I have nothing against homosexuals and feel that people are born free and should be allowed to make whatever life-choices they feel suitable. That being said, I am not a lesbian with a bad haircut and a membership in a recreation softball league, so I ruled out the Nissan. Again, bringing up that I have nothing against homosexuals, I would rather sit on a bed of penises and let Ron Jeremy urinate in my face than to be seen driving a Jeep, so it got deleted like the browser history of an adolescent teenager. There I was: the light at the end of the tunnel. God had sent me a message to buy a Toyota Tacoma. As I typed in the words on Craigslist, I voice in my head said, “Yes. Zach, this is right. You are making a good decision.” That voice had not always been the best voice of reason. There have been many a drunken freshman moments that I am certainly not proud of, some of which involving me defecating in my roommate’s bathtub and a separate incident involving me shitting myself on a Huntington Beach, CA golf course. Now that I think about it, most of my drunken moments lead to untimely defecations. Back to the topic at hand: I searched Craigslist and found the most beautiful 2001 Toyota Tacoma I’d ever seen. It was something akin to seeing Claire and Gloria from Modern Family mud wrestle naked. I met the owner in a Wal Mart parking lot. I test-drove her, gave him the check and rode home in my beautiful new 2.7 liter 2001 Toyota Tacoma.
To end this short story, I’ll summarize my time with Jenny, which, as Forrest Gump taught us, “is the prettiest name in the whole wide world.” I could write for days on her blissfulness. I found TacomaWorld, something my fiancée refers to as the worst mistake of my life, as I spend countless hours wasting away, waiting on BradyT88 post new pictures in the ‘Funny Pictures’ thread, making fun of handicapped people who attempt to make home-made long-travel suspensions, and arguing about egg yolks in the gym thread. In all, Jenny was the best investment I’ve ever made, depending on who you ask. My fiancée says that the $3000+ I’ve spent on Jenny could be better spent elsewhere, specifically on her. I retorted that Jenny never talks back. Somehow I have stayed in a healthy relationship with the love of my life, as well as maintaining a happy relationship with my fiancée.

The fiancée:


Jenny:

 

[FONT=&quot]I hope everyone enjoys my glass cleaning essay. It took me over three months to research and write for my company.


Toyota Glass Cleaning Guidelines[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The amount of contaminant build up on a Toyota can vary depending on environmental conditions. Frequent rainfall can help lead to less need for cleaning. Marine environments, construction sites, pollution, smog, acid rain, etc. can lead to an increased need for cleaning.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Glass can be permanently damaged from improper cleaning techniques. It is strongly recommended that the following guidelines be strictly followed for successful results. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Begin by soaking the glass surface with a mixture of clean water and a mild, non-abrasive commercial window cleaning solution. The mixture should be applied to the glass surface with a non-abrasive applicator. If there is excessive dirt and grime on the glass rinse with clean water before applying the cleaning solution. Frequently examine the applicator to make sure it remains free of any abrasive debris that might scratch the surface of the glass. A small squeegee can be used immediately following the glass soaking to remove all of the cleaning solution. Throughout the cleaning process care should be exercised in making sure that no metal parts of the cleaning tools come in contact with the glass and that the tools are cleaned often to prevent them from picking up abrasive debris from the glass surface and trapping it between the tool and glass surface, thus scratching the glass. Any cleaning fluids that remain on the surrounding framing, sealants, and gaskets should be dried to prevent their possible deterioration. It is recommended, especially if the glass surface being cleaned is a coated surface (reflective or otherwise), to wash one small area of one lite only as a test and then stop to closely examine the surface for any scratches or damage that might be caused by the cleaning equipment. A common cause of scratches during jobsite window and glass cleaning is the use of large scrapers or razor blades. This is not recommended. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Heat treating architectural glass, to produce either fully tempered or heat-strengthened glass, is a process in which the glass is uniformly heated in a furnace to a temperature at which the glass become slightly plastic (approx. 1150F). In a horizontal tempering oven the glass travels continuously across ceramic rollers. The contact between the softened glass surface and the hot oven rollers can result in slight abrasions and dimpling of the glass surface. In addition, in a glass fabrication plant environment there exists microscopic airborne particles of glass, dust, grit, and oven insulation material which may adhere to the glass surface as a result of the softening of the glass in the heating process. Though these characteristics are generally invisible, they have no effect on the visual or structural quality of the glass, and are permitted by the ASTM Specifications for glass quality; they may be detectable to the touch. It is this “feel” that may cause some glass cleaning personnel to use scrapers or razor blades. This practice is not recommended because it can lead to widespread scratching and even surface chipping. The glass cleaning procedure for heat-treated glass is the same as for annealed glass. For further information on industry cleaning procedures visit the Glass Association of North America’s (GANA) website at [/FONT][FONT=&quot]www.glasswebsite.com[/FONT][FONT=&quot]. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]See the following Quick Reference guidelines as recommended by GANA below.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Glass Cleaning Guidelines[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]GANA’s Quick Reference Guideline to Cleaning Architectural Glass[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]DO:[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Clean glass when dirt and residue appear[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Determine if coated glass surfaces are exposed[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Exercise special care when cleaning coated glass surfaces[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Avoid cleaning tinted and coated glass surfaces in direct sunlight[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Start cleaning at the top of the building and continue to lower levels[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Soak the glass surface with clean water and soap solution to loosen dirt and debris[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Use a mild, non-abrasive commercial window cleaning solution[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Use a squeegee to remove all of the cleaning solution[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Dry all cleaning solution from window gasket, sealant, and frames[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Clean one small window and check to see if procedures have caused any damage[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Caution other trades against allowing other materials to contact the glass[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Watch for, and prevent conditions that can damage the glass[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]DO NOT:[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]use scrapers of any size or type for cleaning glass[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]allow dirt and residue to remain on glass for an extended period of time[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]begin cleaning glass without knowing if coated surface is exposed[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]clean tinted or coated glass in direct sunlight[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]allow water or cleaning residue to remain on the glass or adjacent materials[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]begin cleaning without rinsing excessive dirt and debris[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]use abrasive cleaning solutions or materials[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]allow metal parts of cleaning equipment to contact glass[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]trap abrasive particles between the cleaning materials and the glass surface[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]allow other trades to lean tools or materials against glass surface[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]allow splashed materials to dry on the glass surface[/FONT]









[FONT=&quot]Metal Cleaning and Handling Guidelines[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]If the metal finish is a clad finish, it will be provided with a protective vinyl covering to prevent scratching from normal installation handling and transport. The protective vinyl is not intended to prevent tarnishing of the finishes. This protective layer of plastic is strictly to prevent scratches. It should be removed as soon as possible and the material cleaned to prevent staining and/or extra labor required in cleaning residue off of the material. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Please note that no products are supplied with a protective lacquer coating applied. Consult a professional finisher that has experience in lacquering metals if a lacquer is needed. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Installers should take care to avoid surface scratching by removing all rings, watches, or other jewelry items prior to handling or installing doors. Disposable latex gloves are recommended during handling and installation.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]When securing or transporting doors and frames, do NOT allow ropes, straps, or cords to come into direct contact with the finish surfaces -- scratching will occur.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Anodized (US28, 313, & 335) [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]If the metal finish is anodized aluminum, wash periodically as needed with a mild detergent and water, using a soft microfiber towel. Always rub with the grain of the anodized aluminum. Follow by rinsing with clean water taking care to dry the components when completed. Avoid contact with salt and harsh chemicals. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Brass and Bronze (US3, US4, US9, US9M, US10, & US10B)[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Brass and bronze are copper alloys so they willdiscolor, corrode, stain, and / or tarnish from various causes such as oxidation, moisture, chemical exposure, acid rain, salt, acid from finger prints, and atmospheric conditions. Periodic cleaning of this metal willbe necessary.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] This oxidation may take place rapidly or slowly, depending upon conditions to which the material has been subjected during shipping, storage, installation, and while in place. It is our opinion that all brass and bronze will need professional refinishing and or lacquering immediately after installation and throughout the lifetime of the product, the cost of which should be anticipated by the end user. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]In addition, fumes from, and contact with many chemicals, cleaning agents, paints, and other liquids commonly found on jobsites and in commercial buildings can accelerate oxidation. A commercial brass/bronze cleaner is recommended for cleaning and polishing of the metal; also you may wish to have a professional commercially apply a coat of lacquer to help retard the speed at which the rails willtarnish. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Such characteristic reaction, whether occurring over time or when first received by buyer, irrespective of protective coverings or coatings, is considered natural and not cause for rejection. Neither is variance in color or presence of corrosion. Periodic cleaning and maintenance of such metals will be necessary. XXXX does not warrant against oxidation, color difference, or the presence of polished or bright spots on the above brass and bronze finishes. [/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]US 10B[/FONT][FONT=&quot] is a chemically darkened surface finish designed to simulate aged bronze and the finish is not stable. This finish is very dark and varies from a deep chocolate brown to a dark gray and usually has copper undertones. There is quite a variety of interpretations of this finish in the industry and all oil rubbed bronze finishes do not match even if produced in the same batch. For these reasons we do not warrant this finish and highly recommend US10B is not purchased as a finished product in this application. The slightest amount of moisture or human contact during fabrication, transportation, and or installation will cause oxidation. For end users requiring a US10B finish we recommend the entrance is supplied utilizing the base material of US10B (US10) and having a professional finisher apply the oil rubbed chemicals that transforms US10 into US10B after the products have been installed and all construction is completed. This will insure the finish is consistent and unblemished for the end user. We recommend Stuart Dean as a finisher and maintainer of finishes and all metal we provide. They were a pioneer in this process and with over 78 years in the business they have a considerable amount of experience. They are also America’s original on-site restoration and finish maintenance Company. [/FONT]





[FONT=&quot]304 Stainless Steel (US32 & US32D)[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Though virtually maintenance-free in interior applications, areas of the door surfaces that come into human contact will produce fingerprints due to salts and oils in skin. Stainless steels are very resistant to rust, however this does not mean they are impervious to it. Routine maintenance, including cleaning and polishing are required in order to maintain the brilliance and rich luster of the mirror-polished surfaces (US32). Any discoloration or corrosion should be removed as soon as possible, or permanent discoloration and pitting of the surface can occur. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]NOTE: Stainless steel is an extremely hard material but CAN be scratched easily. Most alloys of stainless steel are not highly reactive to chemicals. However, caution must be exercised when using cleansers, polishes, and waxes on stainless steel products.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]PRODUCTS TO AVOID[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Any cleaning and polishing products that are abrasive or contain harsh chemicals such as ammonia, muriatic acid, and chlorine should be avoided. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]These include:[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Brasso, Semichrome, or any other commercially available metal polishes or creams[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Windex, Formula 409, and all ammonia-based products (produces streaks)[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Degreasing agents, powdered cleansers, paint thinners, or harsh solvents[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Furniture polish or paste waxes[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Concentrated soap products[/FONT]




[FONT=&quot]Any cleaning towels that are abrasive must be avoided. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]These include:[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Paper towels of ANY kind[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Commercial Terrycloth, linen, or cotton rags / towels (no matter how “soft” they feel to the touch)[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Avoid squeegees, sponges, or any type of scouring pad[/FONT]
· [FONT=&quot]Avoid razor blades, scrapers, putty knives, etc.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Recommended Cleaning Products[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The following products are recommended for the cleaning of stainless steel door components:[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Sprayway® brand glass cleaner may be used to clean stainless doors when utilized in[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]conjunction with a soft microfiber cleaning cloth. All dust and debris should be blown (not wiped) from stainless surfaces prior to cleaning. Liberally apply Sprayway® glass cleaner to the entire surface of the microfiber cloth (both sides), and gently wipe over the stainless surfaces. Immediately follow (dry) with a microfiber cloth. Unlike other glass cleaners, Sprayway® contains no harsh chemicals or ammonia, and is “streak-free.” It is available at professional glass shops.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Utilize ONLY microfiber towels when cleaning or polishing stainless doors. Be sure to remove the paper label from each towel prior to use to avoid scratching. Microfiber towels may be washed after use, but chemicals in detergent may produce streaks. Microfiber towels are available nationwide at most auto detailing outlets.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Appearance of rust[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]More often than not, stainless steel hardware does not rust, it was contaminated. Contamination occurs when debris and other particles settle on the stainless steel. If those particles are not cleaned off then over time contaminants on the stainless steel will make the stainless appear to be rusting. Typically on construction sites, contact with iron metals is the source of the contaminants. Machining chips from drilling steel and iron dust from grinding steel are two major sources. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Any discoloration or corrosion should be removed as soon as possible, or permanent discoloration and pitting of the surface can occur. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]In extreme environment’s like an ocean front or location where heavy steel construction has been occurring 316 stainless is an available option and recommended, but not standard. 304 Stainless steel is already a premium grade of stainless steel and used in the most common applications throughout the industry and has proven its longevity beyond doubt over many decades. 316 stainless steel meets the standards of the marine industry, aircraft industry, and chemical industry. [/FONT][FONT=&quot]316 is usually regarded as the standard “marine grade stainless steel”, but it is not resistant to warm sea water. In many marine environments 316 does exhibit surface corrosion, usually visible as staining. This is particularly associated with crevices and rough surface finish. For these reasons we recommend for the most extreme environment’s the 316 stainless be US32 finish (polished stainless) and not US32D (brushed stainless). The grains in the “brushed” portions can trap contaminants easier than a smooth polished finish. [/FONT]




[FONT=&quot]Care Guidelines[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Regular maintenance (at least every 6 months if not sooner – depending on usage) is highly advised, principally lubrication of any moving parts, particularly the top pivot. Retightening of closer alignment screws, pivot and closer mounting screws, closer arms and pivot blocks, and fasteners for any moving parts should be performed on a regular basis. Failure to properly maintain products as advised will void their warranty. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Pull bars should be monitored for any movement and tightened as necessary. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Mechanically attached door rails should be checked periodically (within 1 month of initial installation and at least every 6 months thereafter) for proper torque values if utilizing tempered laminated glass. [/FONT]

 

So we should use Weiman oven cleaning products on our windshields? Thanks for the info Skip!

 

Nice entry! Had me rolling at this part hahaha

:

 

Thanks!