In need of some guidance.

I don't really know how to start this thread so I guess I'll just go at it. I need help with what I consider a big decision right now. I began swimming when I was about five, but only started taking it seriously going into freshman year. I sat down with my coach and mentor after that smears season more than a couple times and talked about my future. We decided to make it my goal to reach the 2012 Olympic trials and his goal to take me there. At the time this seemed plausible, I had broken multiple team records, dropped tons of time and showed loads of enthusiasm for the sport. My freshman year I made state in three events and later in that year made my first sectional cut (that's faster than MO state swimming for anyone who doesn't know much about the sport). From the start I knew I was behind. Most of the Ryan lochtes and micheal phelps started taking swimming seriously much earlier than I had or are extremely talented. I didn't worry about this much though mainly because I continually improved every season at pretty astounding rates. That was until about sophomore year when I injured my shoulder and was out for a solid month. I don't know how anyone can compare an injury on swimming to an injury in any other sport, but taking even a few days off in swimming will make you feel like you're out of shape. To top that off i was projectile vomiting two days before state and took a few practices off as well. Never the less I dropped a little time and was happy with my performance. SSomething happened that season though, I can't quite put a finger on it but I think somewhere along the line I lost my love for the sport. I'm truly a very competitive person and I worked and continued to work extremely hard, I just don't know if I have it in me any more. For the last year I've just sort of been grinding through, but I don't think I want to quit. I feel sort of trapped, like I am swimming and that's just a fact of life. I've missed out alot through high school due to practices, meets, etc. But at the same time I just can't bring myself to leave the pool. People think "Max Alander" and think of a swimmer, not me. I don't know who I would be without that in my life. The thing is I haven't dropped a considerable amount of time since sophomore year, and now I'm getting passed up by much more talented swimmers. It's discouraging to think of my competitions progress and my own over the past few years. My coach and I haven't had as much time as we would like to talk about this due to him becoming a father of two. He announced a week ago that he will be leaving the team because of that reason and his new responsibilities. I know he'll still be there for me, but I don't know what to think of this sport anymore. Me and two other guys built our team to what it is today, we were the only boys for at least a year. I don't want to leave and disregard the guidance I could provide to the next generation below us that I never had. At the same time I don't want them to look at the leader of the team and realize I'm just a burn out who can't put things that ought to be in the past in the past. I have one more season with my coach, and I intend to finish it out, then I promised my high school team I would be back for my senior year. After that I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do. College decisions are just another huge factor in my decision to either quit swimming or keep at it. If I stay i can get money, if I leave I can go to slot more schools. I know this may have been a little out of order and just a scramble of ideas, but I really need some advice in this situation. Thank you all

 

Forgot to add in here that lately my team has been sort of falling apart. Me and my ex feel the weight of this because we were what held everything together and then when we split shot really hit the fan. Our split wasn't the cause of our team falling apart but it certainly didn't help. Also been wanting to get a year round job so I can pay for the things I want and do the things I want to do