Hey man; I was in the same place last week.
First, I was worried about lift interacting with VSC -- the salesman at 4 Wheel Part
$ actually *refused* to lift my truck because they'd had to reverse a couple lifts on 2010 tacomas "with the ABS on the passenger side."
So, I was spooked about that and started this poll:
Now, after that, I figured I was willing to take a chance with 5-to-1 odds in my favor. And I also figured out that I'm a pretty old, stodgy, conservative, and defensive driver. And I've been driving wheels *without* VSC all my life. So VSC is just a "nice-to-have" add-on. And I'd *rather* have the off-road capable suspension than the VSC, so if I *do* get the unlikely problem I'd rather disable the VSC - and I'm confident I have the knowledge and skills to design (with some help) a simple circuit that will automatically disable VSC every time the vehicle starts up, just as the driver can *already* do by simply pressing and holding the VSC-disable button for three seconds.
Les Schwab was willing to do the Revtek lift after talking directly with Revtek about my truck. But, you know, I wasn't sure a 3" spacer lift was what I wanted. Like you I was concerned about ride and I didn't want to put on an "off road" suspension that was so jarring that I'd actually have to drive *slower* on rough washboarded roads than I would with the stocker.
I talked to Ben at Redline Motorsports in Burlingame. He gave me some good input and some prices, and if I were going to have the thing installed, I'd probably have had him do the work.
Anyhow, I did a lot more searching on the web, designed a suspension "on paper" and solicited thoughts on a thread here
...and a similar thread over over at TTORA. (I won't link to it - but you can find it easy enough if you look, I use the same handle 'bjmoose' over there) Nobody replied here but I got a lively discussion over at TTORA that really helped clarify my thinking.
Like you, I'm willing to spend my hard earned sheckels on stuff that I'll use, but I don't like to *waste* them. And my lift plans kept going more, more, better, better.
Now the funny (actually logical) thing about lifting is the higher you go, the more changes you have to make from stock, because the more interactions there are between interconnected systems. So there's a lot to be said for KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid.
More lift - more likelihood of driveline vibration gremlins because the angles get more extreme.
More lift - more likihood of VSC gremlins because the Yaw sensor is higher off the ground, and also it becomes oriented at a different angle if you do a "levelling" lift.
Front end lift past about 2" - more stress on the front CV joints. May need to do a diff drop. May need to replace CV boots much more often.
Front end lift past about 2" (maybe 2.5) - can't align exactly to factory specs anymore without replacing upper-control-arms.
Bigger tires - more cutting -- unless you're going for the "pavement queen" approach. But what's the point in an off-road suspension that's actually LESS capable off road???
More rear-end drop - new brake lines in back. Replace and bleed the system.
And, the pros don't like solving those problems any more than you and I do. They want to bolt it up according to the simple instructions, collect your check, and send you on your way.
I'm pretty handy - the watershed for me was - the right lift for me is the one I could bolt up myself. The whole point is to go OFF ROAD far from where you can call AAA if you break down, right? So self sufficiency is key, and if I bolt it up myself, I've got a leg up on the game if I hit something and break down on the trail. And then, I'm only paying for parts, not pro labor at $100/hr shop rate. So the cost comes down too.
Conversely, if it is too complex for me to do it, well then, I didn't trust anyone else to be wrenching on my brand new truck doing that same stuff either. (Ask me sometime about the multi-thousand-dollar-car-stereo-installation-gone-wrong, but that's a story for another day...)
So, with that in mind, I came down to a choice of either:
Bilstein 5100s all around (set at 1.85, NOT 2.5 in the front) with a simple Add-A-Leaf in the back OR
OME complete suspension (885 coils, Dakar Leaf packs, + OME shocks) all around but with no additional lift spacers (except the left/right trim pack on the heavier drivers side.)
I decided on the OME path and ordered it up from Wheelers Off Road
yesterday -- but a LOT of people on TacomaWorld are happy with their billies! Billies and 265/75R16 adds clearance and makes for a more capable off road rig. With the right wheels, it stands out visually -- it's a look that doesn't scream "lift" but looks more like a stock rig that's been hittin' the weight room, IMO. Search for photo threads.
Hope this helps. Your time, your money, your decision. But my two cent summary is: "Remember, keep it simple. more is not better."