The wife is on Beachbody. What can I do to help it out FOR HER after pregnancy and birth?

Hey brother - been there. I have had these exact same thoughts.

My biggest hurdle was dropping the Marine in me saying 'suck it up, just eat well, drink water, and go for a run'. We're not talking about a workout routine - this is a woman going through some extreme emotional events here. Things we, as guys, will never understand - I know I don't.

Someone mentioned it before - drop your ego, and be 100% supportive. Not 99.9999% and then slightly bitch. When you bitch EVEN A LITTLE, that's all she hears and remembers, instead of all the support.

She just went through something pretty traumatic, and is now trying different ways to work some things out, both with her body image and just her self in general. I say quit being a cheap ass and spend $200/mo. It's worth it if it means she's recovering well emotionally - and this is absolutely more emotional than physical, or at least mine was.

This is advise I wish someone had given me when I was going through the same thing. Just my two cents - not meant to be confrontational in any way.

Best of luck to you, brother.

 

The concept is simple, it's math, what goes out has to be more than what goes in. Unfortunately we all get caught up in the mental aspects, and those screw us up way too much. It's not the type of cardio as opposed to just whatever cardio gets your heart rate up and keeps it up for some period of time and you will do consistently. And it doesn't have to be one thing, mix it up, just do something. Lots of posts above on the eating right part, not much to add here, but it has to work for her.

I am not a fan of any of the gimmicks or programs as they, as mentioned, may work for a period of time, but then the mental aspect comes into play. They seem to be more out for $$$ than lbs.

Have you, or her mentioned weight watchers? Some have anegative connotations of it, but WW is one of the few that teaches you life-long habits that are good, assuming you can see through their own marketed "stuff", and also does a kind of group therapy thing with the meetings. The meetings seem to work better for women to, cuz us men are too manly for that stuff .

Also, lastly, I don't know you or your wife, but be careful about "leading" vs "guiding". Depending on the personality, one works, the other, not so much. Kind of a plant the bug in her ear, vs. take her to the bug and tell what to do. You need to decide what works and don't do what doesn't.

 

Yeah, I get your point. I know you mean well. I'm going to leave the shake thing alone. Trust me, I haven't mentioned the money in weeks and I won't when I talk to her. I know I blow money on my own vices like the truck and I'm not going to lecture her over $200 we have.

I have some good ideas out of this. More time walking together, cut out the rice for veggies, and leave her program alone as her thing while building on it to give some more success. That's what I'm going to try. Thanks everyone.

 

For my wife and me the Beachbody workouts have been great. We have several of them. Honestly the best thing I can do for her is to workout with her. After dinner we let our food settle and then work out together. This provides support and accountability for both of us. Any chance baby can nap for an hour?

I appreciate you seeking advice from your fellow TW friends. These can be difficult discussions with her, particularly given the other issues she is dealing with.

I'll be praying for you all!

 

Title modified. Less bitchy. Thanks everyone, if you have more ideas please feel free to leave them.

 

Our kid is sleep adverse. That's a whole separate issue .

Like I said, the wife can't tolerate her wailing for long or she gets over stressed. So our sleep training has not been going great. I mean it's not terrible, but the kid sleeps from 12pm or 1am till about 4 am, and then 5 am till 10 am. We are working on moving it towards 8 pm when she should go to sleep but it will be a slow process at this rate.

The kid hates naps. She fights sleep. My mom said she's never seen a baby fight sleep so hard.

Anyways, the long answer is that activities she can do with me taking care of the kid or activities we can both do with the kid are probably the best option.

 

I was suprised how supportive everyone is here, thats awesome .
We live in Alberta dude, take the fam out to those hills to the west and enjoy natures greatness. Leave the dog with a friend and go for walks together and soon those walks will turn into hikes. Getting outside and enjoying the mountains will be great for her mind and thats where it all starts

 

As long as your not a dink TW is pretty supportive.

I referee hockey and we have renovations going on (those perk her up so I have been really trying to keep a good pace on reno's with her doing demolishing) so our weekends are pretty packed. It's a 3 hour round trip for me to the hills, and the crownest has limited hiking once the snow flies.

We've talked about it, and hiking might be something we get into next spring. I'll just pack the kid on my back and off we can go.

I forgot to mention too that she used to walk about 3 miles a day just for work. She works in security at a local university and they had her running all over the place. I think that has a lot to do with the trouble losing weight too.

 

I'm no expert on women (does any dude understand them?), so here, have my inexperienced opinion in these matters.
I'd agree with the people before me in saying that being supportive is a must. It's been mentioned before but, getting outside (maybe hard this time of year, but try and enjoy the vistas you have) and joining a group (that is structured around an activity like hiking/walking/etc), especially for her may help.

One thing I would confront her on if she is still weening the child. Watch what you eat, I can't imagine those shakes and whatever dietary foods she's taking in can be good for the baby. -A lot of what mothers eat is also passed onto the kids through the milk. What matters is she eats real, actual food. Doesn't have to be gluten-free ebola or vegan/organic/non-gmo bullshit. Just regular food.
An active lifestyle is the other key, and in many cases, helps with depression.

As far as giving up chocolate? Why the hell would she give it up? Just switch to dark chocolate and a bit of moderation... really just tell her that you're there for her and it's no big deal, because she can always lose the excess later when the kid ain't such a baby (pun intended).

 

an elliptical or treadmill would work. something to get her moving...but the HRM is needed to keep focus and maintain a workout that'll be beneficial and maximize her time. my problem with programs is their sustainability after quitting them. I tend to think that they work short term, but if someone simply relies on Program, it's not a long term solution. However, Program plus good diet and good exercise...that'll last once the Program is dropped, as it's instilled good habits all around.

both of y'all doing stuff outside would be primo, but this time of year that's going to be hard if your work schedule interferes.

this isn't going to change overnight, and motivation to workout for an hour a day won't come easily. especially when she's probably already tired. we all go through the Fall and Winter Duldrums. the best thing to do for moods and stress, in my experience, has been morning workouts. hard to get into the routine, but once you/ her/ y'all do, it'll change your days pretty dramatically.

 

Yeah, I think I'm going to try to keep more fruits and veggies in the house that I'll pre chop for easy access for her regularly. That should help with the shake thing a bit. She's going to keep doing the shakes and our kid is at the point of eating half of his food in solids anyways plus she's very healthy so I'm not to worried about that angle.

She was eating about 2 dozen chocolate mini cupcakes a day after the kid was born. I made a joke that she was addicted. She surmised that she actually was and then cut that down to almost no cupcakes ever. She does still pick at chocolate occasionally. When I first met her she had a chocolate drawer in her house stuffed with everything you could ever want that's chocolaty

 

I haven't read the full thread yet. I have a 4yo and a 7mo. I could type forever but I'll keep it short for now by just saying:

Ride it out as best you can for now.

The next year is going to be crazy. Give her time. Don't say anything in the heat of the moment. She's going through a lot physically and emotionally. Just let her know you are there. Accept that, as much as you want to help and solve all problems, you can't. Not always. It's hard as hell.

Be patient A.F. For now.

 

LOL a chocolate drawer? That's awesome. haha well it sounds like she's got things somewhat in control you're just there to maybe help provide/suggest minor adjustments

 

I haven't read through the second page of posts yet, but I'll just tell you what I've learned from my wife having our first kid in April of this year.

She was very worried about "bouncing back" to her pre-pregnancy weight, but we both agreed that it wasn't going to be an issue. She knows I love her, and she understood that her body would be different after housing a growing baby.

Fast forward a bit... She had the baby and we began the processes of being new parents. At first, neither of us focused on losing weight or getting back in shape. Our primary goal was raising our baby the right way.

Once we got a routine going everyday, we started focusing on eating extremely well. We don't eat red meat, but we will splurge on chicken and sausage (gotta have a good breakfast every now and then) sometimes. For the most part though, we eat lots and lots of fruits and vegetables and beans.

We exercise when we can. Run. Walk. Jump rope. Chase the dog in the back yard. Whatever.

I can tell you the number one thing that has help her lose weight is the breastfeeding. It helps by way of burning a lot of fat off the body. It's an amazing process to read about, but it really does take away a lot of the post-pregnancy weight.

Currently, my wife is already a pound UNDER her pre-pregnancy weight. She's a tiny thing too. 5'2"...114 lbs now.

Just gotta do things with her. That helps a lot. And like others have said, do stuff outside.

--I could have written a lot more about all of this, but just help with everything. That helps her more than you know. My wife didn't tell me that until just recently.

 

Hey man. Sorry about the tough times. My daughter is just about to turn 2. We really struggled with her sleeping. The sleeping issue effected her mood throughout the day as well. It made for a lot of stress for my wife (also stay-at-home mom) and I. Not only is our child more irritable from not sleeping while, but my wife is miserable from being at home all day with a screaming, miserable toddler. Our fuse is a lot shorter with each other due to the frustration of dealing with our child.

Here's what we dealt with at naptime/bedtime. Our daughter wouldn't just scream bloody murder for infinity, she would thrash and bang her head and face on the crib until her was bleeding from her nose and mouth. You would think the pain we stop her, but she would continue the thrashing even after injuring herself. There's always a way to calm her but she then makes it into a thing that we have to do for her to sleep. Example, patting her butt or singing or covering her with a blanket. At one point, she would calm and go to sleep if we covered her with her blanket. Then after a week, she started purposefully kicking the blanket off and screaming until we covered her again. She would do this over and over for 2 hours before finally falling asleep. There have been many other annoying things like this in the last 2 years.

People tell us all the time that we need to just let her cry it out, but it's kinda hard we she is injuring herself.

The weird part is that she isn't always this way. For short periods (1-2 weeks at a time) she goes done well. But inevitably, she will fall back to being crazy. I've had to wrap her crib with foam padding.

We've been working on the shuffle method of sleep training. There's a book (can't remember the name but P.M. me and I'll get it for you) that explains how to train them to sleep better. It's not foolproof, but seems to be helping us. It's a really tough thing to do. I hope you figure it out because it really takes a toll on you and your relationship.

 

You should look into FitBit. I Don't know how old she is, but if she's like every other female Millennial she probably has her phone permanently attached to her face. It's pretty much just an overpriced pedometer/heart rate monitor but it syncs up to a very nice and intuitive health and fitness app.

 

In response to original post, forgive me, but not the present conversation.

I would not discuss my wife's weight on a forum. Generally, think health not weight. Throw the f'n scales away and don't be concerned about how much your wife weighs. You keep track of body fat by how well your cloths fit and muscle weighs more then fat. All healthy programs involve weigh training, which is a huge benefit for women becasue of osteoporosis which can start early, good nutrition and a walk or run or bike ride each day. This the best thing you can do. People were made to walk. Pick activies that are fun for the whole family and....repeat, throw the f'n scales out the window..they lie.

 

No so much fruits. Fruits contain a ton of sugar. Natural or not keep them in strict moderation as well. Eat food guide healthy. 1/1/2 for meat carbs veggies ratio. Eating healthy is step one to being healthy. What's the point of an F1 car if you're going to throw in some 9 month old 87 octane fuel in the tank?
I'd ditch the $200/month. That's a lot of money and total pyramid scheme. Buy the PX90 videos and do those. Your kid will eventually sleep train and get better during the day.t
And quit worrying about the weight. The more you exercise the more muscle you'll build and the heavier you'll get. Focus on size. Not weight. And drink lots of water. You can't burn fat and you can't get a good nights rest without being hydrated. They've shown that if you're well hydrated you'll have a better more restful sleep than if you're not, even if you sleep for the same period of time.

http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/where-does-your-fat-go-when-you-lose-weight



That's my coles notes version. I'll add more if I can think of it.

 

Best damn advice right there dude! Tell her she will always be beautiful no matter what, and that she is the best Wife and a mother anyone could ask for. Positive words from you is what she needs right now, and you need to show her how much you adore her and how much you appreciate her. Remember she is the one who carried that child, and you need to show her how much you realize that and how much you love her even more for it. Get everyone outside in the fresh air, and throw away those mother effing scales.
Life Is Not Measured By the Number of Breaths We Take, But By the Moments That Take Our Breath Away

 

It's stages of life, when women bear children they store extra weight. Just in case food is scarce their's food for children to eat. This is nature going back to cavemen times. Believe me it'll never be the same after having children. Just look at her mother that's what you have to look forward to. Also look at your Dad cause that's what you'll look like years from now. LOL! With that said their's a great exercises machine I highly recommend. I've gone to the gym 3 times a week for 3.5 years, then I purchased this and quit going to the gym! It's called Maxi Climber

$179 MaxiClimber 2.0 Vertical Climber Exercise Machine w/Elastic Resistance System - Foldable Home Gym Fitness Equipment for Full Body Cardio & Strength Training Workouts, Adjustable Height

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00K6ZURAW...hvptwo=&hvqmt=e&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_yvzeztitd_e