How the F#$k Do I cook a Turkey?

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My wife and I are having our first thanksgiving at our new place and we're both lost on how to cook a turkey. We've decided on baking it, rather than deep frying it or burrying it for 8 hours, but dont know what preparation and actual cooking times should be. Ive searched the internet for a few recipes but dont trust them after my mashed potatoes came out like shit after following a recipe online. Share your experiences/recipes please.

 

If you deep fry it, be careful because it's a huge fire hazard with the fryers.

 

I would cook it underground. I will be doing that this Thanksgiving.

 

x2!

 

put it in a bag. i'm no cook myself...but it has worked great for me. can't recall exact temp or time, but i'm thinking 325 for about 4 hrs. i don't like stuffing in the turkey, so i was told to cut an apple in half and put both halves in the turkey. i believe this is to keep the bird moist from the inside out. i did the apple thing in a turkey cooker bag and was astonished how well my first bird turned out. good luck and happy thanksgiving!

 

this thread makes me

 

yeah, that too.

It also make me laugh because I showed my buddy Tim(Username Timicha) this thread and he goes "Mmmm. I want to make a turkey. Then I can have ham sandwiches for like a week. No wait, I mean turkey"

 

thanks guys. And to ^^ who said you were gonna cook it underground, be careful. LOL. My family and I did that one year in Arizona (thinking about this seriously makes me rotfl) and we began cooking it early in the morning and we wanted to eat by 5 so we put the turkey in so that it would be done by 3pm just in case anything happened. We didnt eat til 8, and everyone was starving. Stupid turkey wouldnt cook. At 3 it was like halfway done.

 

Order one from Whole foods and spare yourself the hassle

 

www.butterball.com

why overthink something simple...they have a TON of recipies and even a help number

 

actually, this is the BEST suggestion

 

we thought about that, that is just ordering the whole meal/dinner that you can stick in the oven for an hour and just eat but we can both appreciate the process and teamwork in creating the meal. Her family never really celebrated thanksgiving and my family always made it a huge deal. Everyone was in the kitchen helping, laughing, and just enjoying the time spent together, even if it was cooking. As corny as it sounds, I wanna share that with my wife and change the way she has normally celebrated thanksgiving.

 

Alton Brown has all the answers that you'll need:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zUEOnhF9OM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2eTYhlQoAg&NR=1

I did this last year with my first turkey with great results

 

I cook mine on the grill. Big ole charcoal weber. find a good brine recipe (water, kosher salt, and a ton of spices, flavors, fruits) to soak the turkey in it overnight after removing giblets.... throw it on the grill the next day (no stuffing) breast side down for one hour then flip. Keep a piece of foil on top so doesn't burn, meat thermometer in near the hip joint for temp. keep throwing soaked wood chips in for smoked flavor (cherry, apple, hickory, etc.) Only way I've ever had a thanksgiving turkey and i think its the best around. gonna have to add a handful of charcoal throughout the day a few times to keep it going... for extra moist, melt some butter in the microwave and inject it into the thick meat with a syringe. (usually cooks in 4-5hrs).

 

A turkey is as easier to cook then a pan of Hamburger Helper. Get you a big pan with a lid, like the blue ovel ones. Get yourself a Butterball or one that has a pop up timer imbedded in it. Throw it in with about two cups of water, after you remove the neck and packet of stuff from the neck cavity. Throw some butter into the pan, coat the turkey with some butter as well. Throw it in the oven until the little thing pops out. Simple easy done!!

 

If you fry it be careful!!!!!!! Watch this and youll know what a grease fire is all about. Scary!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmjSUlKoMXE

 

Brine it...cooking time is way down and so much more flavor.