Houston area (along with DB's not from Houston) BS thread

Just a few biggens

 

People like the two fatties make my blood boil. It's worse when they're fat. The stories my wife tells me about customers at her job cause me to feel a mixture of amusement, pity, and fury.

It is however rewarding to see her response to customer complaints that are egregious lies with something along the lines of "upon reviewing the security camera footage, no supporting evidence of the complaint was found".

I want my bartenders to not look like a yellow sponge. That's a bit disgusting.

Anything Dennis is involved with is entertaining.

Hi Matt.

Video next time plz.

Hello, David.

Hello Dick-Matt-David.

Seizure imminent.

Hello Dennis.

Hello, David.

Hello Dennis.

Hello Blind Melon Chitlin.

Hello Rich.

Hello Sheila.

Not enough marshmallows.

You know you drink a bit when your night activities include "bottles".

99 bottles of wine on the wall...

Read: cheap date

Pinkie finger up.

Yes. Bottles of wine covered in glitter.

No, no sir. Three beers = zzzzz

Mmmm. Sounds good.

...so Maribelle's?

Whoa.

Fancy like living in a van down by the river.

You aren't the only one. I'm not sure if this qualifies as a hangover, but if I drink too much all I want to do is sleep.

I'm afraid to click on the link.

Insert post here.

Dungeons and Dragons.

?

Hello 1920's.

What's more ladders and less chutes?

 

Sponge-people hunting the elusive baby dick.

 

That multiquote...

 

Had to do something amusing annoying to pass the time.

 

Wasn't annoying. Pretty funny imo.

 

Was talking to the gym yesterday. He said the fat guys would always complain about me vaping. Even to make up shit like my vape touches their food and it makes it taste funny......


I told the gm. It's not the vape. It's the buggers those funders always eat that taste funny. Gm looked at me like what? I told him I have seen them pick their nose and eat it!

 

So which one of you fools was asking for details???

 

This excites me.

Lol that's sick.

But uh, Dennis? I'm beginning to need subtitles to translate some of your posts.

You're probably Sober Dennis mode though.

 

Timothy Dalton and a bottle of ether?

 

. It's being sober. Think my phone is still In drunk Dennis auto correct mode.

 

Well, yeah. Doesn't everyone get excited about that?

 

The Rocketeer!
Used to love that movie...

 

Had trouble with him talking to a gym, or wondering what a bugger and a funder was?

 

What do you mean used to?

 

It's like mad-libs. What I don't understand I replace with something that amuses me.

 

I reject your reality and substitute my own!